Am I Making Something Out Of Nothing?!

I don't know if I actually have a problem- I'd like you guys to determine that!

Ok, seeing a guy. We're both at Oxford, he's a postgrad and i'm in my first year. We met in November but didn't start 'dating' until December. We went home for the Christmas holidays, so I didn't see him for over a month. He went abroad for much of it and we live in different parts of the country. However, we kept in touch throughout via text, calls etc.

When I returned to Uni, on the Sunday, I went round to his house. Since then I've only seen him once a week every Sunday. He's asked me every Saturday if i wanted to go to a club with him and his friends, but I've always had other plans. Admittedly, our timetables are hectic, and he plays for England and oxford Rowing, so trains and is away a lot.

However, I can't help but think- should we be seeing one another a little more? Although I wouldn't say, I could potentially spend loads of time with him, we have so much fun when we're together. I just feel that he could arrange to meet up more.

I know all his friends in Oxford, and he randomly passed the phone on to his friends from home (non-uni mates) when we were talking so that I could ''speak to them'', so I'm not exactly a secret.

SHould the tiny issue of Valentine's Day have already been brought up? Kind of disappointed that he hasn't suggested, or even mentioned it!

The las time I went to his house, I left a top round there. He sent me this text today: ''You'll have to come over later in the week and get the jumper you left on purpose!''. THis was meant as a joke, it's the part about ''later in the week'' that iritates me- I mean, I was hoping to see him tomorrow! He spent the weekend in Spain rowing, so text me before he left to tell me that he was leaving for Spain and that he wanted to ''hook up after'', so thats what he means.

Am I being too demanding? When we're together he's lovely, that's why I'm so bothered, as I'm really starting to like him. Also, he seems to tell his friends a lot about me, nothing that he shouldn't!!, but sort of day-to-day stuff, as they seem to know me well despite the fact I hardly ever get time to talk to them.

I'm rambling, but basically, do I have a right to be annoyed?

Suggestions and comments greatly appreciated.

Thanku x x

Reply 1

Segat1

16

Yes, you are being demanding. He's a post grad, rower for Uni and the country. Of course you won't see each other lots like other couples. Its called a sacrifice. Its lovely he has told his friends about you. Why not change your Sat plans to go out with him and his mates. If it works then great! He's obv thrilled to be with you - its just he has a hectic timetable you might have to work around. You can't change regatta timetables, so you mght have to change your plans and to book him in for really important stuff for you.. Good luck.

BTW if you break up let me know - he sounds like a catch! :wink:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

segat1

Yes, you are being demanding. He's a post grad, rower for Uni and the country. Of course you won't see each other lots like other couples. Its called a sacrifice. Its lovely he has told his friends about you. Why not change your Sat plans to go out with him and his mates. If it works then great! He's obv thrilled to be with you - its just he has a hectic timetable you might have to work around. You can't change regatta timetables, so you mght have to change your plans and to book him in for really important stuff for you.. Good luck.

BTW if you break up let me know - he sounds like a catch! :wink:

Thank you! I understand all that about him being busy, which was why I included it within the post. It's just that he's not said he's busy tommorrow, so I presume he's not doing anything. Therefore, shouldn't he have suggested something if he was that bothered?

Reply 3

Redefined

13

Maybe he'll suprise you :wink:

Reply 4

El Scotto

15

segat1

Yes, you are being demanding. He's a post grad, rower for Uni and the country. Of course you won't see each other lots like other couples. Its called a sacrifice. Its lovely he has told his friends about you. Why not change your Sat plans to go out with him and his mates. If it works then great! He's obv thrilled to be with you - its just he has a hectic timetable you might have to work around. You can't change regatta timetables, so you mght have to change your plans and to book him in for really important stuff for you.. Good luck.

BTW if you break up let me know - he sounds like a catch! :wink:

LOL you sound like a walkover ^

He's picking rowing over his girlfriend.... he should get his priorities straight.

Reply 5

minimo

15

In Oxbridge rowing is a BIG thing - and if he rows for England even bigger :eek:

Reply 6

trina

1

Perhaps you should talk to him about it- say you understand he's really busy, but could you meet up more? Perhaps lunchtimes would be better for him (depending on his subject) if evenings aren't good.
Also, if he has been inviting you to go out on saturdays, perhaps you need to think about your commitments- I'm not saying drop everyhting for him by any means, but if you both want things to be more serious, can't you rearrange some of the stuff on saturdays?
It sounds like you ought to talk to him and see if he feels the same way about your relationship. If he does, suggest you both make some sacrifices for eachother, although obviously neither of you should give up on your subject, friends or extra-curricular stuff.
If he genuinely doesn't have any more free time, you need to ask yourself where all this is going. If you aren't happy with what you've got and you want more, you may decide it's better to break things off before they get too serious and find someone who has the free time to make the commitment to you that you deserve. If you stop now, you may be able to salvage your friendship.

Am I Making Something Out Of Nothing?!

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