Girls in cafés

I want to meet a girl for a proper relationship so the general advice seems to be to look in cafés and libraries and other public places, which seems sensible - but how do you approach them without being laughed away / coming off as creepy / sounding cheesey?
Personal experiences would help!

Thanks

Reply 1

slk999

15

Well, it's a bit odd just searching round and round for someone. I'd wait till you meet someone at work/school/Uni that you like- so it's natural, if you get what I mean, rather than enforced- people 'search' for a new washing machine, generally, they don't 'search' actively for a partner and think "mission acomplished"- I may sound old fashioned, but I wouldn't go about it that way! :smile:

Reply 2

kimberley1987

Anonymous

I want to meet a girl for a proper relationship so the general advice seems to be to look in cafés and libraries and other public places, which seems sensible - but how do you approach them without being laughed away / coming off as creepy / sounding cheesey?
Personal experiences would help!

Thanks

its not creepy. best not to approach them and immediately ask for a number etc. go with the line, ''do i know you from somewhere?'' sounds lame, but probably the likeliest way to start a conversation. the whole ''have you got the time?'' malarkee doesnt really leave much space for chat. dont worry if you dont get the result you're after- as they're strangers, you're probably never going to see them again antway. remember, confidence is attractive. if you're polite, she'll be flattered that you've apprroached her. the worst that can happen is that she'll laugh or tell you to get lost. If that happens, then im sure you'll already have realised that you wouldnt like to get to know her further.
Good luck

Reply 3

scutt

1

A book shop is easy for an intro.
"Oh, that's a great/bad book" and see where that lands you.

Coffee shop.. good luck?

Reply 4

Misogynist

18

In the coffee shop maybe 'That's great coffee' would work :p:

? or if she's alone sit on her table?

Reply 5

Fate13

1

Ask if she knows where the spoons are. It's weird you should bring up the meeting in cafes strategy - I'm starting to think it's a good way to meet decent guys!

Just take it gently, don't force things. If she doesn't engage in conversation (ie. ask you questions when she's finished answering yours), don't push it, just take your leave with a gracious smile and you'll escape any kind of 'creepy' branding.

Reply 6

blissy

15

kimberley1987

its not creepy. best not to approach them and immediately ask for a number etc. go with the line, ''do i know you from somewhere?'' sounds lame, but probably the likeliest way to start a conversation.

Is that really how people start up conversations? I thought I just "had one of those faces"!

Reply 7

rockthecasbah

2

Libraries definately. If they pick up a book you could be all 'oh that's rubbish' and recommend a ton of other books they could read, ask them what they are into etc. That's assuming you have a wide knowledge of books of course :p:

Reply 8

burningwings

1

As long as it's not as bad as some guy yesterday who forcibly grabbed me and tried to drag me over to his mate going "You know him, yes? You want to? You want to get to know him?? Come over here!" at the station, or some 26yr old who apparently told my 14yr old sister he loved her, took her number, got really threatening when she deleted it from his phone, and then started saying how he'd find her in Reading, kidnap her and take her to Africa where there "are no age limits", reducing her to tears after half an hour or so of this, then I think you'll be fine!! Lol!

Just try start a conversation, which could be casual or continued, so if they don't engage with you then it's not embarrassing..
Eg: er..I dunno..Im only good at "what not to do" as I have loads of those examples! Lol

Reply 9

rosetinted

2

Anonymous

I want to meet a girl for a proper relationship

I didn't realise we were things to be hunted down and collected. Don't go looking for a girl to have a 'proper relationship' with. Allow things to happen naturally.

Reply 10

Nightowl

12

Its like someone who doesnt know the rules of any sport going to an American football game to meet a guy.

Reply 11

starya

You're not going to find a girl to have a 'proper relationship' with by actively searching.
The age old wisdom of you'll find it when you stop looking is still true today. Sure, it is possible that you'd meet someone randomly in a café/library, but I'd say you've got a far better chance developing a proper relationship with someone you know through common interests (eg. societies, classes, etc).

what they said!

The best way to find someone is not to look

Reply 14

Navajo

14

I don't like coffee :frown:

Reply 15

Segat1

16

-x-buttercup-x-

The best way to find someone is not to look

^^Exactly. My advice to you is, like the ad, start saying YES to every invite to anything - even if you 're not interestd in Peruvian pottery you could meet someone at an exhibition who is equally bored and might be tempted to do a Fitzwilliam Museum on the vases. Join a club, or something - I joined a group of young professionals when I moved to Cambridge and its been great for meeting people, friends etc.
If you came up to me in a cafe' and asked me where the spoons where I would refer you to the waitress. Cafe' s are my downtown, not for pulling!

Girls in cafés

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