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Mum + Operation
Hey all,
I'll get straight to the point - my mum's been awaiting surgery around 2 years now. Since she had a hysterectomy about 12 years ago, she's had constant trouble in that area, i.e. her ovaries are full of cysts, her bladder has gone potty (literally). So they gave her a laproscopy and decided they would take out her ovaries and the cysts and see what state her bladder is in - it's inflamed and over active - and they will inject it with botox to make it stronger. However this might not work, so the next option is to have a new bladder constructed from pieces of her bowel...argh.
Anyway, her op date came through 2 weeks ago, for Monday 20th. So we were all planning to prepare over the weekend, freeze food, clean the house top to bottom, ya know just get things sorted so me, dad and bro and sis could cope when she's in. But her Surgeon's secretary rang yesterday saying that the date she was given is the wrong date and it's tomorrow they want her in, to operate on Friday. I'm sh**ting my pants! I'm so scared for her, and I don't know how I can cope! My little bro's 14 and he's going to stay at my Grandmas for a week or two, while she recovers. My big sister is 19 and is staying with us and my other big sister, 23, has her own house and kids, but is going to be coming everyday to help out and stuff. But I just don't know what to do, it is so short notice, I'm the type of girl who plans and plans everything..now I can't. It's messed everything up. She's scared too, it's a quite long recovery period and she's going to be laid up for months. My mum is like the back bone of our family, she does everything and sorts everything out, she's so amzing. I'm just so worried things will sh*t up when she's having the operation..
Any help and advice about anything will be so appreciated.
I'll get straight to the point - my mum's been awaiting surgery around 2 years now. Since she had a hysterectomy about 12 years ago, she's had constant trouble in that area, i.e. her ovaries are full of cysts, her bladder has gone potty (literally). So they gave her a laproscopy and decided they would take out her ovaries and the cysts and see what state her bladder is in - it's inflamed and over active - and they will inject it with botox to make it stronger. However this might not work, so the next option is to have a new bladder constructed from pieces of her bowel...argh.
Anyway, her op date came through 2 weeks ago, for Monday 20th. So we were all planning to prepare over the weekend, freeze food, clean the house top to bottom, ya know just get things sorted so me, dad and bro and sis could cope when she's in. But her Surgeon's secretary rang yesterday saying that the date she was given is the wrong date and it's tomorrow they want her in, to operate on Friday. I'm sh**ting my pants! I'm so scared for her, and I don't know how I can cope! My little bro's 14 and he's going to stay at my Grandmas for a week or two, while she recovers. My big sister is 19 and is staying with us and my other big sister, 23, has her own house and kids, but is going to be coming everyday to help out and stuff. But I just don't know what to do, it is so short notice, I'm the type of girl who plans and plans everything..now I can't. It's messed everything up. She's scared too, it's a quite long recovery period and she's going to be laid up for months. My mum is like the back bone of our family, she does everything and sorts everything out, she's so amzing. I'm just so worried things will sh*t up when she's having the operation..
Any help and advice about anything will be so appreciated.
Scroll to see replies
Just try not to worry.
The Doctors have planned something else if it doesnt go to plan (aka new bladder..)
You can still plan everything. Get a piece of paper and plan your meals for the next week, or however long (remeber she will need time to recover)
and when you make it the next day (if you dont know how follow a recipe from the internet) make some extra to freeze for the next week.
Try to keep everything tidy day by day, its a lot easier than one massive clean up.
Just be organised today so that your mum can see that you can cope and its a huge weight off her mind.
If you need anything else feel free to PM me - believe me I've done it.
The Doctors have planned something else if it doesnt go to plan (aka new bladder..)
You can still plan everything. Get a piece of paper and plan your meals for the next week, or however long (remeber she will need time to recover)
and when you make it the next day (if you dont know how follow a recipe from the internet) make some extra to freeze for the next week.
Try to keep everything tidy day by day, its a lot easier than one massive clean up.
Just be organised today so that your mum can see that you can cope and its a huge weight off her mind.
If you need anything else feel free to PM me - believe me I've done it.
You've still got a bit of time to plan if you want to. It will probably be easiest if you've got like a timetable, so you know where everyone will be and when. That way, you won't panic if someone isn't home.
It's kinda good that your mum hasn't done everything around the house, as you can use that to keep busy instead of worrying about her. And it's a good learning experience for if you go university!
Emotionally, you'll probably need a lot of support, so make sure that your friends know. It might be a good idea to let school/college know too, as they won't shout at you if you do fall behind with work.
It's kinda good that your mum hasn't done everything around the house, as you can use that to keep busy instead of worrying about her. And it's a good learning experience for if you go university!
Emotionally, you'll probably need a lot of support, so make sure that your friends know. It might be a good idea to let school/college know too, as they won't shout at you if you do fall behind with work.
awhhh hun i can totally sympathise with you on this one, but you will be suprised on how well your family will be able to cope whilst she's in hospital. Every one will pull together for your mum around the house and things because its the only option you have.
As for your mum try not to worry too much - i know its easier said than done but she's in safe hands and just think of the benefits after shes had the operation. 2 years is a long time to wait for an operation and i bet your mum is glad the time has finally come around. Talk to the rest of your famuily, im sure there feeling the same as you. xx
As for your mum try not to worry too much - i know its easier said than done but she's in safe hands and just think of the benefits after shes had the operation. 2 years is a long time to wait for an operation and i bet your mum is glad the time has finally come around. Talk to the rest of your famuily, im sure there feeling the same as you. xx
Just concentrate on the positive things. Sooner the op is, less time to stress about it. It will improve your mum's life so that's gotta be a good thing. Stuff the housework - I promise you it won't go away! Concentrate on food, clean dishes and clothes.The rest can wait. And if possible try to reassure your mum that you're not worried. You can cope, she's just got to concentrate on getting well. Good luck.
Hey.
Firstly my mum has been ill for like,2 years and has tonnes of operations so I know how you feel-if you want to talk you can PM me.
Firstly,with regards to your mum-as others have said,don't worry.It's hard not to worry but remember she's in very capable hands...highly trained doctors etc and they will know what they are doing.
If you go and visit her take her a present and keep giving her presents as she's recovering etc.I've always found that cheers my mum up.For example,when I was away at uni I always came home with bears and chocolates and things.
Offer her cups of tea etc too and ask if she wants anything.
With regards to coping with the housework-you'll be fine if you are getting people coming around to help out.Just keep the place tidy-tidy up after yourself and so on and it shouldn't be too big a job-maybe have a rota?
Don't worry-I never ever used to do anything around the house before my mum was ill but now I'm always clearing up,doing the washing,making dinner etc.
Firstly my mum has been ill for like,2 years and has tonnes of operations so I know how you feel-if you want to talk you can PM me.
Firstly,with regards to your mum-as others have said,don't worry.It's hard not to worry but remember she's in very capable hands...highly trained doctors etc and they will know what they are doing.
If you go and visit her take her a present and keep giving her presents as she's recovering etc.I've always found that cheers my mum up.For example,when I was away at uni I always came home with bears and chocolates and things.
Offer her cups of tea etc too and ask if she wants anything.
With regards to coping with the housework-you'll be fine if you are getting people coming around to help out.Just keep the place tidy-tidy up after yourself and so on and it shouldn't be too big a job-maybe have a rota?
Don't worry-I never ever used to do anything around the house before my mum was ill but now I'm always clearing up,doing the washing,making dinner etc.
Pretty Boy
Why is her bladder inflamed?
Is it an infection?
Is it an infection?
It's not an infection, no. Although she had a lot of bouts of Cystitis when she was younger, it's unlikely that it's the cause of it. She drinks a lot of tea - caffiene - which could explain the inflammation, but basically, no one knows. The Dr. actually once said to her she's "a medical phenomenon". They just can't get down it, like why her ovaries have developed cysts, why she looks 5months pregnant, why her bladder is extremely over active and inflamed, but I guss by Friday, we'll know. And I'll be so glad when she's out of the horrible pain and can resume her life.
Thank you ALL for replying, especially the 2 who PM'ed me, I'll rep you for been so nice
Katie [x][x]
My Dad's having an operation tomorrow to remove a non-cancerous (but left untreated, could be cancer) lump in his neck. It involves having his neck cut open, and having a knife put near his vocal cords and nerves. The chance of paralysis in the face is 1-2%, but I'm not worried about that. Instead, it's him being under general anasthetic. My Dad is really overweight, and is a heavy smoker, so I'm a bit worried that he won't come out from under anasthetic.
Can someone please reassure me that people in a worse state of health than him have been under a general anasthetic, and come out fine.
Thanks
brimstone1
Can someone please reassure me that people in a worse state of health than him have been under a general anasthetic, and come out fine.
Thanks
brimstone1
brimstone1
Can someone please reassure me that people in a worse state of health than him have been under a general anasthetic, and come out fine.
Thanks
brimstone1
Can someone please reassure me that people in a worse state of health than him have been under a general anasthetic, and come out fine.
Thanks
brimstone1
Patrick Deuel for one. He weighed over 70 stone and smoked like a chimney.
If your dad was too heavy he would have been refused treatment which is happening in the UK all the time now.
Nick Eckstein had surgery at 28 stone.
urrr and I dont know anymore off the top of my head but seriously he'll be ok. Doctors don't do it if there's a risk to them.
If it helps to hear this, I am the most immature person ever when it comes to responsibily; I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't do anything. A couple of years ago my mum had to have an operation and my dad had to go with her. So I was left alone in the house with my younger sister for a few weeks with only my birthday money and the food in the house. We somehow managed to get everything important done, and you'll be surprised at how many friends offer to come over and help. I really hope you'll cope well. 
nuclearbuddha
If it helps to hear this, I am the most immature person ever when it comes to responsibily; I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't do anything. A couple of years ago my mum had to have an operation and my dad had to go with her. So I was left alone in the house with my younger sister for a few weeks with only my birthday money and the food in the house. We somehow managed to get everything important done, and you'll be surprised at how many friends offer to come over and help. I really hope you'll cope well.
EEp they didnt leave you money?
Now thats not good.
If anyone is ever in that situation, get a friend to help you out, and don't bother with expensive basics you may not eat (eg bread.) Go for something such as pasta and canned tomatoed (30p for pasta, 17p for tomatoes)
FireDeuce
Patrick Deuel for one. He weighed over 70 stone and smoked like a chimney.
If your dad was too heavy he would have been refused treatment which is happening in the UK all the time now.
Nick Eckstein had surgery at 28 stone.
urrr and I dont know anymore off the top of my head but seriously he'll be ok. Doctors don't do it if there's a risk to them.
If your dad was too heavy he would have been refused treatment which is happening in the UK all the time now.
Nick Eckstein had surgery at 28 stone.
urrr and I dont know anymore off the top of my head but seriously he'll be ok. Doctors don't do it if there's a risk to them.
Thanks. I think I realised that doctors wouldn't have done anything to him if it was unsafe, but I'm still worried. Well, in 24 hours, I'll know whether he's OK or not. I suppose the small risk of something happening on the operating table is better than the 100% chance of cancer developing if the lump is left untreated.
I know how you feel- my Dad had to have an operation at Christmas a few years ago and my Mum fell ill at the same time so she was in bed sick while he was in hospital..anyway i know you'll cope- you seem to have a lot of support and don't worry-noone will expect you to be superwoman just do the best you can and take care of youeself as well as your mum.
brimstone1
Thanks. I think I realised that doctors wouldn't have done anything to him if it was unsafe, but I'm still worried. Well, in 24 hours, I'll know whether he's OK or not. I suppose the small risk of something happening on the operating table is better than the 100% chance of cancer developing if the lump is left untreated.
Trust me, he doesn't want cancer. My cousin died last night from it.
Doctors know what they are doing...and 1% is TINY and they have basically said that to alert you of a possible danger which is probably nearer 0.00000001% but they want to be able to turn round and say "they knew it was a possiblity" so they dont get their asses sued.
Most things the NHS do are precautions.
Don't worry about it..if yo wanna chat PM me or something.
Well, I officially think that the NHS SUCK BALLS!! My mum was due to have the op. today, about 9.45 am, so she's sat waiting for ages, and gets dry mouth so has a chewing gum. Not knowing that 'nil by mouth' means you can chew friggin' gum..so the Ward Sister comes up, sees she's chomping and goes "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" and decides my mum has to be reported to the surgeon. Instead of putting my mum to the bottom of todays op. list, they sent her home and cancelled her. So after waiting 2 years as it is, she now has to wait even longer. B****cks to that.
Katia
Well, I officially think that the NHS SUCK BALLS!! My mum was due to have the op. today, about 9.45 am, so she's sat waiting for ages, and gets dry mouth so has a chewing gum. Not knowing that 'nil by mouth' means you can chew friggin' gum..so the Ward Sister comes up, sees she's chomping and goes "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" and decides my mum has to be reported to the surgeon. Instead of putting my mum to the bottom of todays op. list, they sent her home and cancelled her. So after waiting 2 years as it is, she now has to wait even longer. B****cks to that.
The NHS is ****! When my mum had to have a hysterectomy she turned up and they said that they couldn't operate because there weren't enough beds. I mean, y'know, nevermind the fact that she had a couple of huge tumours growing on her ovaries and had been preparing for her operation for ages. Load of ****s they are.
My mum works for the NHS and the amount of stress she suffers from is unbelieveable.
At the hospital where she works, they've closed down 1 ward and they're planning to get rid of 24 beds to save money.
It's not always the doctors/nurses/surgeons faults, 9 times out of ten it's to do with the local primary care trusts and funding.
The small amount of money which doctors and nurses make is crap, and the hours they work is unbelieveable.
At the hospital where she works, they've closed down 1 ward and they're planning to get rid of 24 beds to save money.
It's not always the doctors/nurses/surgeons faults, 9 times out of ten it's to do with the local primary care trusts and funding.
The small amount of money which doctors and nurses make is crap, and the hours they work is unbelieveable.
Katia
Well, I officially think that the NHS SUCK BALLS!! My mum was due to have the op. today, about 9.45 am, so she's sat waiting for ages, and gets dry mouth so has a chewing gum. Not knowing that 'nil by mouth' means you can chew friggin' gum..so the Ward Sister comes up, sees she's chomping and goes "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" and decides my mum has to be reported to the surgeon. Instead of putting my mum to the bottom of todays op. list, they sent her home and cancelled her. So after waiting 2 years as it is, she now has to wait even longer. B****cks to that.
nil by mouth refers to fluid as well as food. you produce more saliva then you think chewing gum which is then swallowed.
that said, it was a bit silly. was it explained that she was just chewing gum?
cee
elbow_fan
The NHS is sh*t! When my mum had to have a hysterectomy she turned up and they said that they couldn't operate because there weren't enough beds. I mean, y'know, nevermind the fact that she had a couple of huge tumours growing on her ovaries and had been preparing for her operation for ages. Load of t*ats they are.
thats pretty rough.
elbow_fan
The NHS is sh*t! When my mum had to have a hysterectomy she turned up and they said that they couldn't operate because there weren't enough beds. I mean, y'know, nevermind the fact that she had a couple of huge tumours growing on her ovaries and had been preparing for her operation for ages. Load of t*ats they are.
Had it occured to you that perhaps there were alot of emergency cases came in before her that required priority?
its annoying that the nhs doesnt have the spare capacity to allow for sudden increases in demand, but thats the governments and ou fault (not want ing to pay mroe taxes) not the nhs. well not the docs and nurses anyway. the managers perhaps
cee
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