Would you ever not go with your boyfriend?

This is more a question for those in VLTR, but others can answer hypothetically if you want. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and lived together for about 16 months. I recently gave up my job so we could move much closer to his job. Today he sat me down and just totally expressed how grateful he is and how much it meant to him that I was willing to give up my job to be with him. It surprised me because it had just never occurred to me that I wouldn't go with him. Even keeping my job I couldn't have afforded to and wouldn't have wanted to stay here on my own. I love him to bits and would follow him to the ends of the earth if it meant we could always be together. Has anyone else been in this situation and actually considered not moving away to be with the man you love? I understand there are people in LDR but I would assume that would only be the case if there was no other option.

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Reply 1

silverbolt

I would - if i met the right girl,

Reply 2

Lucia.

Original post by silverbolt

I would - if i met the right girl,

I would for the right guy, but he would have be amazing. :smile:

Reply 3

MagicNMedicine

Would be interesting to see the male-female split.

I would suspect that more women would be willing to uproot themselves to follow their boyfriend, than men would be willing to uproot themselves to follow their girlfriend.

Reply 4

username163729

I don't think at this point in my life would I be willing to sacrifice any of my educational/work opportunities or choices for love. In my eyes, partners are relatively plentiful (and will come and go) whereas good jobs or a good education aren't.

Reply 5

fredscarecrow

It would depend entirely upon my ability to get a job I enjoyed and wanted in that new place. If I could and I like the new area etc, then yes. I'm not held down by family etc. If I couldn't get the right kind of job/prospects weren't good..then I'd really have to question it.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

At this stage in my life I am at uni... so no I'm not going to uproot myself 3 out of 5 years into my course, cause that wouldn't benefit either of us, and "we" being together can certainly wait a bit.

But yes if (hopefully) we are together in the future.. I do plan to sort of hoopefully compromise on jobs so that we can live together. It's a priority for me. If his need to go somewhere was greater than my need to stay somewhere then I suppose that yes I would move :smile:

It's odd that people find this attitude strange in unmarried couples, but if I was talking about my husband they'd sort of think it bizarre for us to make any choices that involved living apart! But both situations (unmarried vs married) can be the same. Some people never get married.

Even if you were always going to follow him, it's still considerate of your bf to acknowledge and thank you for your sacrifice. It's certainly better than him taking it for granted!

Reply 7

saltydog92

i'm a guy and i would expect a girl to give up her job for me

Reply 8

tomatosardine

I wonder what happens in situations like these when the other person decides not to go. Does the relationship continue with a time-limit on it or not?

Reply 9

hippieglitter

I guess it wasn't completely my sacrifice, the move benefits me as well, because I have family in our new area and they have given us a flat at £1 a month rent.

Reply 10

tinktinktinkerbell

if he was moving too far away from the area and my family i wouldnt go

Reply 11

Pink Bullets

It would depend on how serious the relationship is, where you see it going, where you'd be moving, what you'd be giving up by moving, and what kind of life you'd have in the new place.

It's not a decision to be taken lightly. Of course there are situations where I'd not go. There is much more to life than boyfriends. :s-smilie:

Reply 12

tomatosardine

Original post by hippieglitter

they have given us a flat at £1 a month rent.

Quids in, girl.

Reply 13

kat91s

Currently being LDR out of no choice, this is something that me and my boyfriend have discussed. We are both very unwilling to move for the other, and have pretty much agreed that we will both have to compromise on one thing or another if we are ever going to live together permanently.

Reply 14

briesandwich

I've been thinking about this more and more. I'm off to University in September, and although I'll only be an hour away from my boyfriend it makes my heart sink. I caught myself the other day considering not going, but I think he would feel very (unfairly) guilty if I didn't!

Reply 15

areyoubarrywangthough?

If we'd been together that long and we were already living together then yes, i think i'd do it without really thinking about it.

ALSO, am i being thick? What is a VLTR?

Reply 16

Studentus-anonymous

Meh I might just move for the fun of it. Nah it'd have to be one amazing woman to be fair. I had an ex I was pretty serious about who expected me to move to another country altogether at the tender age of 20. Wasn't going to happen, I wasn't ready for that type of commitment, leaving behind my family and basically amputating my social life. She also wanted to get married to but again, just a bit too young for me to consider that seriously despite my feelings.

Reply 17

hippieglitter

Original post by areyoubarrywangthough?

If we'd been together that long and we were already living together then yes, i think i'd do it without really thinking about it.

ALSO, am i being thick? What is a VLTR?

You will see LTR used a lot on this forum for Long Term Relationship, VLTR is very long term relationship in my opinion more the 4 years.

I understand not wanting to go if your at uni, luckily me and bf were at the same uni in the same year, so that wasn't a problem. We were in a LDR for about a year after finishing uni as we both went back to our respective parents but plans were already in motion to move in together. This is the first time I have moved without a job to go to. Last time it was just a simple case of transferring which I did and my bf's job fell through so I was supporting him while he found a job, this time it will be him supporting me.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 18

areyoubarrywangthough?

Original post by hippieglitter

Ah see, I was being thick. I know what LTR stands for, the V just threw me haha.

Well, good luck with the move! I hope everything goes well for you both :smile:

Reply 19

Procerus

My girlfriend has a better graduate scheme and career prospects than I do, I find it hard to believe she would give it up for me. Thinking about it, I wouldn't want to even bring about a situation where should would need to give it up.