Depression Society MKVI

True, thanks

I'm really lonely. It's not like there aren't people in my life who care for me, but no one who likes me or loves me in a romantic sense. It's not like I'm a really soppy romantic who must be in a relationship (although, maybe I am), it's more I just really miss having someone who when they think of me gets little butterflies in their stomach, or just wastes loads of their day thinking about me and that, I do this with people, but it seems like people just don't do the same back. I can handle being single, I just can't handle knowing that no one finds me attractive, or would consider being in a relationship with me.

Even in a relationship I still felt lonely and empty, I just want someone who understands me, gets me, finds me interesting, funny, clever, attractive, whatever, and wants to spend time with me. This is probably way too much to ask, especially when I'm me. I hate me, I am not attractive in that way at all, and I definitely have a ****e personality.

I have no idea where to even bein on addressing this issue, it's out of my hands, I can't control how people feel about me, i can't do anything about it, and that drives me nuts. I know I'm not the best catch in the world, I just want someone to love me for who I am, and all my quirky traits.

Sigh... Although its very dramatic, I just can't help but feel I am going to die alone. I know I sound a lot like a hormonal teenager, but meh it's just how I feel.

I'm really lonely. It's not like there aren't people in my life who care for me, but no one who likes me or loves me in a romantic sense. It's not like I'm a really soppy romantic who must be in a relationship (although, maybe I am), it's more I just really miss having someone who when they think of me gets little butterflies in their stomach, or just wastes loads of their day thinking about me and that, I do this with people, but it seems like people just don't do the same back. I can handle being single, I just can't handle knowing that no one finds me attractive, or would consider being in a relationship with me.

Even in a relationship I still felt lonely and empty, I just want someone who understands me, gets me, finds me interesting, funny, clever, attractive, whatever, and wants to spend time with me. This is probably way too much to ask, especially when I'm me. I hate me, I am not attractive in that way at all, and I definitely have a ****e personality.

I have no idea where to even bein on addressing this issue, it's out of my hands, I can't control how people feel about me, i can't do anything about it, and that drives me nuts. I know I'm not the best catch in the world, I just want someone to love me for who I am, and all my quirky traits.

Sigh... Although its very dramatic, I just can't help but feel I am going to die alone. I know I sound a lot like a hormonal teenager, but meh it's just how I feel.

Didn't resist SH though
Thanks I'm off to bed now.

Good luck with it x

Hope it isn't too bad.
Hope you slept alright.

Thanks

Had a shocking sleep last night, worst for a while. I've had that sleep deprived sicky feeling all day. Surely I'm not the only one who gets that?
I'm slowly learning which teachers mind me doing nothing in their lessons and which that do. I literally sat in maths all lesson with my head on the desk with my eyes closed and not a thing was said to me
Really don't care about anything atm, should have stayed after school to finish coursework off with the help of a teacher or at least show my face at a revision class but I didn't.
Need to do this Spanish reading paper for tomorrow but no motivation whatsoever. I used to be able to do work at school because it wasn't too bad there but now it's bad everywhere.
All this is so unlike me, I would like old Anon #2 back please, has anybody seen her?

How are you today?

Sorry you didn't sleep well. Nah I've had that feeling, not nice.
Wow, sounds like a fun teacher.
Sucks when you have no motivation, not a lot you can do.
You'll be back, just need to get through this rough time.

Ok thanks. Got the train back this morning, went straight to a problem class then came home and had a 3 hour nap.
Not really good for productivity but oh well. Attempted to tell my housemates a min ago, but one of them was busy clearing ice out of the freezer, so I used that as an excuse not to.
Spent the weekend wondering whether it was a good idea to tell my mum about the aspergers thing, decided to wait and see what comes out of the appointment. I told my oldest brother last night, think he will keep it to himself. He told me to text him to let him know how the appointment goes.
Really lacking motivation, don't know why, I'm feeling pretty okish, won't be when results time comes.

Just typed everything into Google translate and wrote the answers in. Praying my teacher doesn't ask me to translate it in class because I will have no idea.

At least you went to the class, you could have just gone to bed but you didn't
Good luck with it for when you actually them, there isn't much they can do about it so it's not like they're going to hate you forever
Does she know about the depression?
Hope the appointment goes well.
You've been working so hard and I'm sure your results will reflect that. Hope you find your motivation

Haha that's sneaky!

Yeah I suppose, thanks. Just when I try words don't come out my mouth.
No, she's erm not exactly good at keeping things to herself, so didn't think it was a good idea to tell her.
Thanks
Have so much of a backlog of work and this semester is just flying by and I'm so so sleepy and I don't know why....eurgh ignore me, just thinking aloud
Might make a new account soon that my brother doesn't know and go unanon

Ahhh right
Are you still sticking to the timetable you and mental health man worked out?
It's fine, that's all I do in this thread
Unanon? Brave!


I can't stop thinking about all the bad things people have said to me. In year 7 a teacher got mine and another girl's names mixed up and the other girl said within earshot of me that she hoped she didn't look like me. That was 5 years ago and didn't really bother me at the time so I have no idea why it bothers me so much now.

No, that lasted about one week. Haven't touched last semesters work for ages. Lasy week my counsellor was saying there's a few months left, not much time of my life for something so important and I should just go for it and see what happens. That makes perfect sense, but even then I knew I wasn't going going to change, I'm just a zombie.....teeeeaaaa.....beeeeedddd!

I think it happens when you're really down, all the bad memories come pouring in. That's really nasty, some kids are just jerks and there isn't a lot you can do about it. You just have to try to remember when anyone treats you like that they are the one with the problem not you.

He speaks the truth though, if you work hard over these coming months and you'll never have to do it again. Although I'm being a bit hypocritical because when teachers say that in school it annoys me and I don't see myself at college or even collecting my GCSE results.
If you feel like a zombie maybe it's your medication? But the one you're on is working well for you, isn't it? Maybe not then (hmm, thinking aloud here ). Did you ever ask the doctor about your anaemia? Your iron levels might have dropped, perhaps try an iron supplement from boots or wherever and see if it makes you feel any better?

It could do, yeah. Said girl is perfectly nice to me now, she probably doesn't even remember saying it.

I really need to speak to crisis but i'm too scared. I've called them a lot in the past week and I'm aware I might be annoying them

Yeah, he's right and he asked if I was willing to do that and I was just wet "yeah", aah why is it so hard to do anything when you have all the reason in the world to me motivated.
It could be, they have definitely lifted my mood from where is was in December, but they could be causing the tiredness aswell. No I didn't, was probably a bit silly, I think I will try that, thanks.

Hah it's weird, I had people like that, that were pretty mean to me then towards the end of school started being nice, was always a bit puzzled by it. Guess they were just maturing.