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I've never attracted anyone
Bit of a ranting thread, but it would be interesting to hear others' views.
Basically I'm 18, Male, never had a girlfriend, although this by itself I know is nothing particularly to cut my wrists about... However I have never attracted any female I know, and I feel that it is impossible to happen, no matter how close a relationship. Others seem to "know" how to do it, or don't seem to have to do anything actively to attract others, yet for me, nothing happens. It's not as if I don't socialise with girls, quite the opposite, in fact, most of my friends are girls and I feel more comfortable with girls in general rather than boys (apart from if I am attracted to a girl). I have meaningful female relationships, but of course, nothing more than friendship. I have seen in the past, a few girls attracted to me after initially meeting me, most likely because of an external factor such as looks, but this quickly disappears as I reveal my personality. I have become more confident in recent times but nothing has changed, meaning that my confidence now fluctuates.
One problem I know I have is that I think about it excessively, even when I stop myself from doing so (it doesn't "distract" me from other studies, etc. but if there is a situation of me with a female I have recently met, I may think about it). Any new girl I find attractive becomes a "potential partner" and hence I act differently and more nervously, and the thought process of "nothing will happen" inevitably creeps in. In the end I find that I am not attracted to her and she is unattracted to me, and this is pretty much the case one way or the other each time. I am romantic by nature and write poems often about love, but of love I have never had of course, or love of nature.
I'm not sure of what to make of my situation and I don't know whether it's me or whatever...My love life is completely and utterly non existent one way or the other, is anyone else like this?
PS I have subscribed to and read almost every dating tips website, etc. so I don't need links to them...
Basically I'm 18, Male, never had a girlfriend, although this by itself I know is nothing particularly to cut my wrists about... However I have never attracted any female I know, and I feel that it is impossible to happen, no matter how close a relationship. Others seem to "know" how to do it, or don't seem to have to do anything actively to attract others, yet for me, nothing happens. It's not as if I don't socialise with girls, quite the opposite, in fact, most of my friends are girls and I feel more comfortable with girls in general rather than boys (apart from if I am attracted to a girl). I have meaningful female relationships, but of course, nothing more than friendship. I have seen in the past, a few girls attracted to me after initially meeting me, most likely because of an external factor such as looks, but this quickly disappears as I reveal my personality. I have become more confident in recent times but nothing has changed, meaning that my confidence now fluctuates.
One problem I know I have is that I think about it excessively, even when I stop myself from doing so (it doesn't "distract" me from other studies, etc. but if there is a situation of me with a female I have recently met, I may think about it). Any new girl I find attractive becomes a "potential partner" and hence I act differently and more nervously, and the thought process of "nothing will happen" inevitably creeps in. In the end I find that I am not attracted to her and she is unattracted to me, and this is pretty much the case one way or the other each time. I am romantic by nature and write poems often about love, but of love I have never had of course, or love of nature.
I'm not sure of what to make of my situation and I don't know whether it's me or whatever...My love life is completely and utterly non existent one way or the other, is anyone else like this?
PS I have subscribed to and read almost every dating tips website, etc. so I don't need links to them...
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Maybe you're gay or A-sexual?
fragreaper
Maybe you're gay or A-sexual?
A-sexual,
Anyhow, Eien, Stop watching anime and weight train, improve your figure abit?
Dream Theater
A-sexual,
Anyhow, Eien, Stop watching anime and weight train, improve your figure abit?
Anyhow, Eien, Stop watching anime and weight train, improve your figure abit?
What a very clever stereotype, except I don't watch a ton of animé...
Just because I don't fancy a lot of girls makes me asexual? ^o) I have had feelings before, but nothing substantiated.
Dress up as a pimp.
Everyone will be attracted to you.
Make sure you talk like a pimp too.
Everyone will be attracted to you.
Make sure you talk like a pimp too.
I didnt imply you were asexual, It just was amusing to me. No offense intended. Anyways, I know you've had feelings for someone, which is 100% natural (What's supposed to happen anyway).
You arent going to become better figure wise/personality wise if you just sit around and do nothing about it.
You arent going to become better figure wise/personality wise if you just sit around and do nothing about it.
Girls tend to go for those with a certain type of character, visual looks beyond the basics aren't worth worrying about too much as long as you have an aire of self respect about you.
What you need is to come across as confident and humourous, something I have as of yet been unable to master.
What you need is to come across as confident and humourous, something I have as of yet been unable to master.
Dream Theater
I didnt imply you were asexual, It just was amusing to me. No offense intended. Anyways, I know you've had feelings for someone, which is 100% natural (What's supposed to happen anyway).
You arent going to become better figure wise/personality wise if you just sit around and do nothing about it.
You arent going to become better figure wise/personality wise if you just sit around and do nothing about it.
I was talking more to fragreaper who suggested it, but anyway... I know that I have to self improve to improve quality of life, but having feelings for someone or attraction is not something one can practise for or achieve like an exam, it just...happens, or as with people like me, it doesn't.
You just need to be a bit more confident/relaxed... Theres nothing more unattractive and pathetic than someone who looks all nervous and on-edge.
I seem to have the opposite problem, lots of dirty cheap girls tend to get very close in nighclubs... So I suppose if you're REALLY desperate then you could try clubbing...
I seem to have the opposite problem, lots of dirty cheap girls tend to get very close in nighclubs... So I suppose if you're REALLY desperate then you could try clubbing...
Beekeeper
I seem to have the opposite problem, lots of dirty cheap girls tend to get very close in nighclubs... So I suppose if you're REALLY desperate then you could try clubbing...
I seem to have the opposite problem, lots of dirty cheap girls tend to get very close in nighclubs... So I suppose if you're REALLY desperate then you could try clubbing...
Yeah, right Beekeeper. You probably think or would like to think they are after you. Just because you get very close to someone doesn't mean that you're attracting them.
Beekeeper
You just need to be a bit more confident/relaxed... Theres nothing more unattractive and pathetic than someone who looks all nervous and on-edge.
I seem to have the opposite problem, lots of dirty cheap girls tend to get very close in nighclubs... So I suppose if you're REALLY desperate then you could try clubbing...
I seem to have the opposite problem, lots of dirty cheap girls tend to get very close in nighclubs... So I suppose if you're REALLY desperate then you could try clubbing...
I'm definitely more confident than a couple of years ago, and I am generally relaxed in social situations - of course I could have more confidence (but then again most people can).
Nightclubs? No-ho-hoo!
They make me angry, hulk-style.
Ferrus
Girls tend to go for those with a certain type of character, visual looks beyond the basics aren't worth worrying about too much as long as you have an aire of self respect about you.
What you need is to come across as confident and humourous, something I have as of yet been unable to master.
What you need is to come across as confident and humourous, something I have as of yet been unable to master.
I've honed those traits near-exclusively for well on four years, and my 'love life' up until very recently has been especially barren.
What you 'need', my friend, is a certain je ne sais quoi.
Profesh
I've honed those traits near-exclusively for well on four years
You sure about that?
Tonight Matthew
You sure about that?
ahahah. The most constructive post in this thread so far.
Ferrus
True, except it is certainly possible to state what it is one should avoid.
Of course.
My aesthetic disposition seems to be one which ~%1 of the female population deem very attractive, but to which the remaining 99% are found effectively immune: as such; I consider it nigh-on impossible to classify myself in the 'looks' department, having warranted appraisals ranging from 'ugly' through to 'cute', 'pretty' and 'devilishly handsome'.
Profesh
Of course.
My aesthetic disposition seems to be one which ~%1 of the female population deem very attractive, but to which the remaining 99% are found effectively immune: as such; I consider it nigh-on impossible to classify myself in the 'looks' department, having warranted appraisals ranging from 'ugly' through to 'cute', 'pretty' and 'devilishly handsome'.
My aesthetic disposition seems to be one which ~%1 of the female population deem very attractive, but to which the remaining 99% are found effectively immune: as such; I consider it nigh-on impossible to classify myself in the 'looks' department, having warranted appraisals ranging from 'ugly' through to 'cute', 'pretty' and 'devilishly handsome'.
I think that ~1% might even increase to ~2% if you stopped speaking like an extra from a Shakespeare play.
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