This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Hard to get girls

What is the best way to deal with a girl who plays hard to get if you like her and want her. I don't really like chasing girls but it seems that with some of them you simply have to because they just wont budge. Is it best to play them at there own game? I always thought that if you both do it nothing will ever develop? Guys and girls views would be good. Sorry if any girls think im being disrespectful. Thats really not what im trying to do. :biggrin:

Deaks.

Reply 1

albowonderer

deaks

What is the best way to deal with a girl who plays hard to get if you like her and want her. I don't really like chasing girls but it seems that with some of them you simply have to because they just wont budge. Is it best to play them at there own game? I always thought that if you both do it nothing will ever develop? Guys and girls views would be good. Sorry if any girls think im being disrespectful. Thats really not what im trying to do. :biggrin:

Deaks.

u shud play her at her own game for a while.... then tell her u like her and lay ur cards on the table, if u really like her then dont give up!!! and GD LUCK!!! :biggrin:

Reply 2

jb_sweden

deaks

What is the best way to deal with a girl who plays hard to get if you like her and want her. I don't really like chasing girls but it seems that with some of them you simply have to because they just wont budge. Is it best to play them at there own game? I always thought that if you both do it nothing will ever develop? Guys and girls views would be good. Sorry if any girls think im being disrespectful. Thats really not what im trying to do. :biggrin:

Deaks.

I'm not entirely sure on what's best when it comes to counter-act a woman's testing in the form of trying to be hard to get. But, I know that you must not - and I stress, must not - come forward as being needy or that you have to fight to get this girl. A girl always wants what she barely can get or what she just couldn't get. Try to be as close to the "limit of what she can get" as possible. (Think evolution, or economics if you want :smile:

)

If she's pretending to be hard to get, you should not enter the trap. She wants to see if she is better than you, or to be more precise: can she do better than you? If you come off needy the answer to the latest mentioned question is, in her mind, no.

I suggest you walk up to her, talk in a soft but authorative voice, and say "this hard-to-get play doesn't work on me, darling" and then walk away and talk to your friends (preferable in company of a chick that is even hotter than Miss Playful). That would do it.

Good luck mate, perhaps someone else can give a better advice.

Reply 3

jb_sweden

albowonderer

u shud play her at her own game for a while.... then tell her u like her and lay ur cards on the table, if u really like her then dont give up!!! and GD LUCK!!! :biggrin:

Absolutely not! Don't tell her than you like her o/lay the cards on the table (god knows what that means). I think my previous post in this thread describes the reasons as to why it's not a good idea.

Or, to illustrate my point, ask all your female friends "would you like if a guy told you 'I love you' early on?".

Things like "I love you" should always be said subtly in your behaviour, she must think "does he like me? I hope he does!", not "He loves me for sure".

(There's a totally different story when you've landed the chick)

Reply 4

albowonderer

jb_sweden

Absolutely not! Don't tell her than you like her o/lay the cards on the table (god knows what that means). I think my previous post in this thread describes the reasons as to why it's not a good idea.

Or, to illustrate my point, ask all your female friends "would you like if a guy told you 'I love you' early on?".

Things like "I love you" should always be said subtly in your behaviour, she must think "does he like me? I hope he does!", not "He loves me for sure".

(There's a totally different story when you've landed the chick)

lol meant for him to tell her hey i like you and i dont know wat to do are you playing hard to get or not nothin to do with love lol!!! god no not that early!!!

Reply 5

britishseapower

14

jb_sweden

I suggest you walk up to her, talk in a soft but authorative voice, and say "this hard-to-get play doesn't work on me, darling" and then walk away and talk to your friends (preferable in company of a chick that is even hotter than Miss Playful). That would do it.

Good luck mate, perhaps someone else can give a better advice.

what if she isn't playing hard to get though? he will just look stupid if he says that

Reply 6

britishseapower

14

plus calling her darling sounds a bit patronising but thats just my opinion lol

Reply 7

deaks

OP

ok thanks for the advice but i must stress i dont love this girl! I hardly know her. Ive just seen her out a few times and spoken to her but she always keeps her cards close to her chest. I have often caught her looking at me but she will always look away when i catch her out. Shes not sly at all though which makes me think she wants me to notice shes looking at me. If I go up to speak to her or dance near her she will usually walk off. But if I dont follow she will be back before i know it standing near me. I am slightly confused though I have the impression I might have not read her properly and that she actually likes my mate. I have watched her and I cudnt quite work it out. For that reason i didnt wanna go up to her and say stop playing hard to get incase she doesnt actually like me. My mate is always stood near me which makes it hard to read. The other night she came up and said bye but when i went to kiss her on the cheek she pulled away. Again i was with my mate. So this makes it more dificult.

Reply 8

jb_sweden

albowonderer

lol meant for him to tell her hey i like you and i dont know wat to do are you playing hard to get or not nothin to do with love lol!!! god no not that early!!!

A man must always know what to do!

Think about a good role model for a man when it comes to dating. Think Humphrey Bogart/Marlon Brando roles, think James Dean, James Bond or whatever. Are they wussies that says to a girl "I don't know what to do, I just like you.. please?". No.

Reply 9

britishseapower

14

deaks

ok thanks for the advice but i must stress i dont love this girl! I hardly know her. Ive just seen her out a few times and spoken to her but she always keeps her cards close to her chest. I have often caught her looking at me but she will always look away when i catch her out. Shes not sly at all though which makes me think she wants me to notice shes looking at me. If I go up to speak to her or dance near her she will usually walk off. But if I dont follow she will be back before i know it standing near me. I am slightly confused though I have the impression I might have not read her properly and that she actually likes my mate. I have watched her and I cudnt quite work it out. For that reason i didnt wanna go up to her and say stop playing hard to get incase she doesnt actually like me. My mate is always stood near me which makes it hard to read. The other night she came up and said bye but when i went to kiss her on the cheek she pulled away. Again i was with my mate. So this makes it more dificult.

maybe she's shy, the might be interpreted as hard to get, although I would clarify if it is actually you, or your mate, who she likes, before you make a move

Reply 10

jb_sweden

britishseapower

what if she isn't playing hard to get though? he will just look stupid if he says that

What does he care? So what if a girl thinks he did something odd one time? If she likes him it's a killer, if she don't - it really doesn't matter.

And on the "darling sounds patronising"... well, you're right - and that is the point. Nice guys finish last. (At least when it comes to young ladies, which, I assume, is the case here).

Reply 11

jb_sweden

deaks

ok thanks for the advice but i must stress i dont love this girl! I hardly know her. Ive just seen her out a few times and spoken to her but she always keeps her cards close to her chest. I have often caught her looking at me but she will always look away when i catch her out. Shes not sly at all though which makes me think she wants me to notice shes looking at me. If I go up to speak to her or dance near her she will usually walk off. But if I dont follow she will be back before i know it standing near me. I am slightly confused though I have the impression I might have not read her properly and that she actually likes my mate. I have watched her and I cudnt quite work it out. For that reason i didnt wanna go up to her and say stop playing hard to get incase she doesnt actually like me. My mate is always stood near me which makes it hard to read. The other night she came up and said bye but when i went to kiss her on the cheek she pulled away. Again i was with my mate. So this makes it more dificult.

I don't get this whole mate thingie? Could you please explain?

It is also hard to tell, from what you've written, if she's playing hard to get or just plain shy.

If she's shy, you should perhaps reassure here some how that you're not dangerous. You should take affirmative action. Call her some day, say "Hey, I'm off for a cup of coffee down at ... you can drop by if you'd like, I'd like your company" or something - perhaps even dropping the "I'd like your company" part. You seem to have some serious communication issues. Perhaps a decent talk would help. However, I would not suggest that you'll bring up the topic of "are you in love with me?" or "aren't we silly with this playing?" or anything close to those. Talk about various things, her sibblings, school, something that has happened recently... whatever. As you would talk to a friend. Okey, I'm about to wander off, but I feel I need to finish this cup-of-coffee-thingie before returning. Now, you shouldn't talk more than 30% of the time, ask her questions. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. She'll love that you show interest in her LIFE (not just body, you know).

Okey, back.

If she is playing hard to get, she's doing it awfully bad. She isn't playfully messing with you, she's a psycho. Beware! It could also be your descriptions that a bit off.

Besides, perhaps that kiss on cheek was a bit too forward and that she was too unprepared.

Dating is all about elevation. There's a certain way you must walk from talking to having sex with a girl. Talk -> Touch -> Kiss -> Sex, is an extremely simplified version of it. Each of those steps include many steps in between. You cannot, and I stress cannot, just skip many steps - it will only scare her, or something like that. E.g., if you want to kiss her, start touching her hair... if you lets you continue touching her hair while talking to her... you're home free! I'm describing the rules of the game here, not the methods for winning it - so don't go try this hair thingie, it may not work on this girl or perhaps it just doesn't suit your style and relationship with her.

Reply 12

34253

2

I think you might have trouble changing her mind, perhaps its a waste of time!

Reply 13

deaks

OP

The prob is she might not be interested in me at all she could be just leading me on and using me to get to my mate. For example when she said bye she might have been trying to make my mate jealous im just not too sure. Im not gonna go up to her and say stop playing hard to get when im not 100% sure its me she likes. Im also not gonna go up to her or her mate and ask which one she likes. I havent even got her number yet which i guess is a gd thing because i don't want to look like im desperate to get it.

Reply 14

jb_sweden

deaks

The prob is she might not be interested in me at all she could be just leading me on and using me to get to my mate. For example when she said bye she might have been trying to make my mate jealous im just not too sure. Im not gonna go up to her and say stop playing hard to get when im not 100% sure its me she likes. Im also not gonna go up to her or her mate and ask which one she likes. I havent even got her number yet which i guess is a gd thing because i don't want to look like im desperate to get it.

go up to her or her mate and ask which one she likes. NEVER ever do such a thing.

Get her number. Do it casually. Talk to her some day, then say "hey, it was nice talking to you, I have to go now, but it would be nice to continue this conversation... what's your phone number?" (dont say: can I please have your phone numer).

Then continue with the coffee part, or something similar.

It seems to me that you're afraid of rejections. You're going to be very lonely if you'll continue being so.

What does it matter if you assume that she likes you and it turns out that she doesn't? It won't ruin your chances with any other girl... it will not have any effect at all! The only effect it may have, that is negative, is that you may have a harder time creating attraction with her in the future.... for which your chances probably are slim anyway.

DON'T THINK OF GIRLS AS GODS! Damnit! Who gives a rat's ass if she rejects you? It's HER LOSS. You're the king. Get that into your mind !

Reply 15

deaks

OP

communication issues? Not at all! Ive spoken to her everytime im out and its me who starts the conversation. I could phone her and ask if she wants to meet up but that defeats the object because I dont want to look too interested and need to establish whether she likes me first.

Reply 16

username39618

1

Use the old tying to a chair manouevre, it worked many a time for I

Reply 17

Rubeus Tonks

go out with guys instead then no homo

Reply 18

green_eyes

1

is she being hard to get or is she shy? stupid question but i think i come across as hard to get when i am in fact to shy to tell anyone how i feel!
either way my advice would be talk to her lots, talk to her friends maybe? and then tell her your feelings, the worst she can say is no. sure it will be fine!

Reply 19

speedstacker

3

deaks

What is the best way to deal with a girl who plays hard to get if you like her and want her. I don't really like chasing girls but it seems that with some of them you simply have to because they just wont budge. Is it best to play them at there own game? I always thought that if you both do it nothing will ever develop? Guys and girls views would be good. Sorry if any girls think im being disrespectful. Thats really not what im trying to do. :biggrin:

Deaks.

Wot the girl did was wot my cousin(female) taught me when i told her there's a guy fancied me. She said i should play thiskinda game with that guy so that i can noe if he really liked me.And she said i should accept him once i'm sure he worth my acception. I think that girl is just wanting to make sure ur the right one.Be patient, but if u have been chasing for too long my advise is to make it clear to her and see wot she say.

Hard to get girls

Related discussions

Articles for you