The Student Room Group

Haven't been allowed to move out for uni this year :/

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(edited 10 years ago)

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Reply 1
Why didnt you just move into halls? They couldnt have legally stopped you.
Reply 2
University is the time for you to become adult. If you wanted to move out, they can't stop you, so I don't know why you let them.
Reply 3
Just do it. If they love you so desperately that they insist you stay at home, even if you move out against their wishes they'll forgive you pretty quickly.
Reply 4
Well just do the research and prove to them quite easily that they are only holding you back in the short and long term....then ask for their evidence supporting the contrary.
Original post by Dbrown18
Why didnt you just move into halls? They couldnt have legally stopped you.

Original post by Judgey
University is the time for you to become adult. If you wanted to move out, they can't stop you, so I don't know why you let them.


I think people underestimate that yes, they can't stop you legally ... but they sure can make it difficult for you to move out. For example, if parents didn't want their child to move out for university, they could refuse to fill in the finance application and leave the 'child' with next to no money to pay for a room in halls. They could refuse to allow the 'child' to return home for holidays, potentially leaving them homeless for several months of the year.
Reply 6
Why do you have to wait? What will be so different in a years time from now. You're an adult now, you will be an adult then. Just ask them what they value more - their petty rules and control or your happiness, independence and maturity. Say you think you're ready to move away and make sure you do your research first about everything and can prove to them that you know what you're talking about and what living on your own involves. Don't just use the reason that you feel your missing out on clubbing but also other things such as you feel you would benefit more from the experience of uni, you want to try living alone and you feel you are less mature than your peers so want to increase your maturity and understanding of the world by living alone. Reassure them that you will be okay, that you will look after yourself and you won't stop being their 'little girl' no matter how old you get. Hopefully, they will see sense and agree to you moving out. If not, then its time to prove (to them and yourself) your maturity and adultness and make a decision for yourself. They can't do much to stop you. :smile:
Would it be rude to ask why your parents wont allow you to move away?
I personally would be very hurt if my parents tried to stop me from moving away, you are an adult, you should be responsible enough to know what is best for you. Discuss it with them, it would be very unfair of them to deny you your independence.
Reply 8
Original post by TheSownRose
I think people underestimate that yes, they can't stop you legally ... but they sure can make it difficult for you to move out. For example, if parents didn't want their child to move out for university, they could refuse to fill in the finance application and leave the 'child' with next to no money to pay for a room in halls. They could refuse to allow the 'child' to return home for holidays, potentially leaving them homeless for several months of the year.


Youre atleast 18. Youre not a child. In the eyes of the law youre responsible for yourself. And i doubt they will leave you homeless during the holidays. They love you enough to not want you out by yourself. Theyre not going to go to the other extreme because youve left them.

You need to "man up" if im honest.
Original post by Dbrown18
Youre atleast 18. Youre not a child. In the eyes of the law youre responsible for yourself. And i doubt they will leave you homeless during the holidays. They love you enough to not want you out by yourself. Theyre not going to go to the other extreme because youve left them.

You need to "man up" if im honest.


I never said I was in this situation, just pointing out that for a lot of people it's not simply a case of "I'm 18, I can do what I like" - if you're applying for student finance, you need parental support. If you're at uni in halls, it's not a year long rent.

I do know some people whose parents have done just what I said, refused to fill out the forms or let them live at home anymore.
Reply 10
you're 18 ... theyre legal rights to tell you what to do have ended, if you want to move out move out they are in no position to stop you
Reply 11
Original post by TheSownRose
I never said I was in this situation, just pointing out that for a lot of people it's not simply a case of "I'm 18, I can do what I like" - if you're applying for student finance, you need parental support. If you're at uni in halls, it's not a year long rent.

I do know some people whose parents have done just what I said, refused to fill out the forms or let them live at home anymore.


Thought you were the TC.
And even if what you say is true, i dont know, but you cant generalise that tbh. Not every parent is going to kick out their offspring during the holidays, and theres no reason to believe that the TC parents would do that. Its much more likely theyll accept they can do nothing about the TC moving to halls.
Reply 12
Original post by TheSownRose
I think people underestimate that yes, they can't stop you legally ... but they sure can make it difficult for you to move out. For example, if parents didn't want their child to move out for university, they could refuse to fill in the finance application and leave the 'child' with next to no money to pay for a room in halls. They could refuse to allow the 'child' to return home for holidays, potentially leaving them homeless for several months of the year.




Dont necessarily need to move into halls, theres cheaper accomadation elsewhere and also accomadation that would let you have a full year lease.

Also you can apply for 65% of the student loans without parental help. (or a percentage around that anyway)
get a job to top up the rest?

All of the people who are starting these threads really annoy me, you need to realise that your parents cant stop you or make you do anything. Sort your lives out and do what you want to do. You are at least 18 - they cannot stop you from moving out so all this stupid 'not being allowed' rubbish is ridiculous.
Reply 13
Original post by TheSownRose
I never said I was in this situation, just pointing out that for a lot of people it's not simply a case of "I'm 18, I can do what I like" - if you're applying for student finance, you need parental support. If you're at uni in halls, it's not a year long rent.

I do know some people whose parents have done just what I said, refused to fill out the forms or let them live at home anymore.


It's sad (and slightly worrying) to know that some parents are so controlling over their now-legally adult children. I'd never be that way with mine.
Reply 14
Original post by kunoichi

Also you can apply for 65% of the student loans without parental help. (or a percentage around that anyway)
get a job to top up the rest?


Depends on the degree. Engineering/science and that whole group of degrees are like to leave you little time to get a job. I know I couldnt fit in any sort of regular work around my course. Not without coming in with a third.

It is a balance. Yes you are legally an adult. However, losing the backing of your parents can be quite a big problem. Lots and lots of people may have to use their parents for short term loans or bailout well into their mid 20's. Burning your bridges is never a good idea.

OP you need to be more specific if you want useful advice really.
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(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 16
You sound mentally weak. If you slip into depression (and this is real depression, not the prolonged bad mood EVERYONE gets from time to time), every time your parents raise their voice to you, you probably should stay at home anyway.

Honestly, if you genuinely want to move out, man up.
Reply 17
And really, if youre scared of your parents, whats anyone on TSR going to do for you realistically? Its down to you.
Haven't been ALLOWED!?

If you're old enough to go to uni, you're old enough to do what you want.

Hopefully they'd be more accepting if you found a flat/house with some coursemates for next year?

Tell them that they should trust that they brought you up well enough that you can make your own decisions and take care of yourself.

You have to move out eventually anyway...
Original post by legaliseddealer

They think I will have sex with each boy and come home pregnant. Their words. I am incredibly hurt because I don't dream of being a slut or a young mum. I am not that type of person and it's sad they don't know their own daughter.


Hmm, i can see why parents would be worried that their child will run off and get pregnant or catch something. Mine did used to be really protective over that sort of thing too because i'm the youngest and the only girl. I'm sure there are ways you can persuade them to trust you, it has been done. You could try and guilt trip them about it and say how hurt you are that they really think so low of you.
I genuinely wish you luck with everything, i hope you get what you want :smile:

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