is this mistrust?

Hey there. I live with my boyfriend, and although we have two separate rooms and live with some friends, we tend to just share my room and put junk in his room. He always leaves his door open and laptop in my room as there's always where he uses it and leaves it. Recently he came back from work and looked at his laptop and started saying 'i bet you looked through it while i'm out, right?' to which i honestly replied no, i wouldn't do that just as i hope he wouldn't to me.

Since them i keep getting little hints of him that he just doesn't trust me to not look at his stuff. I've even noticed him take his phone places he wouldn't normally like the loo and shower?! Today he went down to London for a few days with family, and locked his door which is the first time he's ever done it since there's just clothes n stuff in there, locked his laptop in there and loads of my clothes and shoes that i'll need before he gets back. I texted and asked why and he said 'in case we get burgulars' even though he knows i have room insurance so if we did get burgled valuable would be better in mine as I could claim for it and thats the way we've always done it.

I'm just really confused, maybe people will call me naive but i trust that he's not having some kind of affair or got dodgy stuff on his laptop, but it hurts me that he just won't trust me not to look at his stuff, especially when it means i can't get at half my clothes for a week! Opinions?

Reply 1

Segat1

Its not very fair on you. Unless he is having an affair. Sorry. You need to sit down with him and explain that you can't live like this when he keeps sneaking about. Obv there is something going on either he thinks he doesnt have enough space of his own or something, sorry thats a bit vague. Trust is v important and it seems he's all of a sudden changed - what was the trigger - can you remember the day it changed?

Reply 2

ChemistBoy

Maybe he has got something to hide...

Reply 3

Angelil

Even if you don't think he's having an affair, I would suggest sitting him down and asking him 'are you having an affair?'.
OUTCOME A) He will say 'yes, I'm having an affair' and then you'll know what you're dealing with.
OUTCOME B) He will say 'no, of course not', opening the gate for you to ask him 'well wtf are you acting so weird then?!'
OUTCOME C) He will get all angry and stroppy and storm off. In which case he's no good for you anyway :p:

Reply 4

allie79

i've had and affair and thats exactly what i did!! always took my phone to the loo, there were texts my bf coouldnt see.

Reply 5

wendizzle22

As you live with him it'd be harder for him to have a relationship with another person, and easier for you to tell, as it'd be obvious when he was out etc. It might be something to do with his laptop - porn maybe.. or perhaps he has just developed a bit of general paranoia and doesn't really have anything to hide. In any case I'd make it clear you've noticed this change and ask him what his reasons are.

Reply 6

bullyfish

Maybe he has got something to hide...

Probally, I was kind of the same when I was texting a girl who wasnt my girlfriend... suddenly became very protective over my phone. She must of known somthing was up