The Student Room Group

What to Do? - Relationship problems

Well before you start reading I apologise for the long post. I dont think I can ask for help unless you know the full story.

My girlfriend went out with this total wa**er, they went out for two years. She told me that she wanted him to cheat on her so they could break up as she didnt want to be with him but she didnt tell him this. I think that was around 16-18 months after they started going out. Then December last year which was around their 19 months it came about that he had cheated, But she couldnt break up with him, didnt want to leave him. He did it again, and again (3 times infact) before he eventually dumped her.

About a month later I started going out with this girl. I had been her friend for 2 years, and wel never thought it would happen due to that. But we got slightly drunk on a bottle of vodka and started pulling etc then I asked her out, rest I guess is history.

Then we got back to school and her ex started stalking her and me and pissing me off. Phoning her a lot and generally upsetting her a lot. One day she ran off he ran after her. I got up and followed. Went round the corner and I saw him slamming her against the door. Now i HATE nothing more than a guy beating up a girl and this made me flip. So yeah even though he was a good few inches taller than me i beat him up. After that he left us alone for ages.

Now my girlfriend and her ex are friends, and she visits him. I am very paranoid when it comes to him and she does not seem to understand why. I pick up her phone very rarly and i ask if i can read it. I do and nearly every time i check there is something like "i love you i love you i love you" etc from him. Once i checked it and there was a text saying "I am in a nice warm double bed...wish you were here". That kinda shouts out that she is cheating but unfortunatly I trust her A LOT. So i believer her.

Anyway back on to the point. Valentines day was great and the day after was our 10 months. I was washing up from valentines day (I cooked for her) and she randomly went of and started crying. I said whats wrong and she said, and I quote "I dont know, thats half the problem". Naturally I hugged her etc. Not really much I could do. She stopped crying.

So then we talked for a long time in my room about what was wrong etc. She said something just hasnt been "quite" right for a few months.Then she told me about the first thing i said, her wanting to be cheated on by her ex... then she went on to make the point that it was not like that and she really wanted to stay with me. To me it seems that she would not have mentioned this really if she wanted to break up with me. So we talked for ages trying to find out what it is. In the end she came up with the fact that... well I am very stressed at school with UCAS and I have teachers on my back for no apparent reason etc. She said that she thinks the reason she is upset she cant seem to make me happy anymore. So anyway basically she says she wants to work it out... she made it sound like she would give it a few months to fix itself.

Now I really love this girl to the extent that I really have stopped caring about almost everything else, I would do anything for her. I mean i hate to admit it but I could not stop myself crying when she told me, and thats the first time I have cried in 4 years or so...

So what do I do? I mean I will fight for her and try and fix everything that is wrong, but in the end what do I do? What can I do? Am I fighting a lost cause? For once I feel this is nothing to do with her ex so, im just a little confused.

Any advise etc would be appreciated.
Support her and be there for her. thats all u can do, as soon as she realises u wil always be there she will open up and eventually manage to find words for her problem.
Good luck
Reply 2
i'd echo the above. that said, it's always a dangerous game getting involved with someone who's in/was in a long term relationship, however good or bad it was.
Beat up the ex again. It'll make you feel better. Choke him and tell him to stay the **** away from someone he hurt alot.
I've known guys like him... total wastes of oxygen.
/rant over
I'm actually a pacifist :smile:
Reply 4
fragreaper
Beat up the ex again. It'll make you feel better. Choke him and tell him to stay the **** away from someone he hurt alot.
I've known guys like him... total wastes of oxygen.
/rant over
I'm actually a pacifist :smile:

I hate hurting anyone...viloance is my last option. Plus i don't see him anymore.

And I know it wasnt the best situation to get myself in with this girl, but love was never rational, I couldnt help it. And BECAUSe I love her I will sort out this mess, and I will be there for her, there is nothing I wont do for her