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Everyone seems to love me but me watch

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    I realize this must sound horribly arrogant, but it's true .. Thing is, I like being friends with guys, but whenever I spend a little while with someone, they develop a crush on me. 9 out of 10 do. And I just don't know why. Seriously, I do realize that I am ... pretty, I guess. I mean, there's a ton of things I would change about myself, but yes, I do realize that guys probably think I'm hot, or maybe more so "cute". So I am not surprised when someone comes on to you in a club or somewhere, that's just the superficial aproach you make when someone's your type. And I really don't think much of it. I'm not the prettiest girl around, but yeah, I guess I can understand why you'd hit on me. But then all these guys that actually know me tell me how fascinating I am and that I am so "different" and special and I have this glint in my eyes and how I could probably have every guy I'd want and I just don't get it. I really, really don't mean to sound conceited, but it really bothers me. I know it's a stupid thing to be upset about, but it's just that it happens to me all the times. I like hanging out with someone and they'll go crazy about me and end up being heartbroken or having a major crush on me and that just makes being friends with them impossible. In fact, for the past five years, it's happened so much, that I don't even appreciate them anymore. Just another guy who likes me. And I feel I shouldn't feel that way, but I literally get annoyed when I see someone looking at me that way and I tell them to shut up when they pay me compliments. I don't know what it is. I never lie to these people, I am totally hones and I am who I am, but that just confuses me more because I am nowhere near as great as they think. I have lots of issues, I hate my life, I cling to dreams I have had when I was 12 and I get depressed a lot and when I do, I'm a mess. I'm slim, but I hate my body and would rather weigh 10 lbs less. I might have oratorical eyes, but I don't find myself prettier than average. I'm not sure I even expect a reply to this because I can't think of anything there's to say to is, but I just find it so hard to understand why I attract all these people and they just find me fascinating and want to be part of my life and at the same time I am completely unhappy with everything and almost hate who I am...
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    I think you need to be a *****.

    No wait, you still wanna hang out with these guys as friends, oh yeah

    Man, I'll switch places with you.

    There's not really anything you can do about this though, I don't think... If someone's likes you, they like you..
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    Yep, I usually end up being a ***** then, I guess.
    What's worse tho is that I never even consider those guys, I mean, I don't "like" like them so that's a reason but I think that I might react the same way if I had a crush on someone: as soon as they'd be available, I'd lose interest. That's what I'm saying, I am pretty messed up. What annoys me tho is that people seem to find me so amazing when I am clearly pathetic. I mean, one of us has to be wrong.
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    People like me (not to the same extent as people like you, it seems!) but I pretty much hate myself, so I'll never understand it. You've just gotta accept people like you, maybe for good points that you can't see in yourself, but others can. They obviously enjoy your company, but you're you, so you can't be somebody else and enjoy your own company, - I rephrased that a few times, I still don't think it makes sense, I know what I mean!

    Are you completely yourself around guys? I mean, do you put in a lot of effort to hide any bad habits, or feelings of hating yourself, feeling depressed, etc.
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    Are most of your friends guys? or do you have a lot of female friends too?
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    I AM completely myself !!! I don't tell them about my depression when I first get to know them, obviously, but I do mention it and when they ask, they get the whole story. Actually, even when they don't I usually give it all away. I tell them they shouldn't like me this much and how I am not as "good" as they think I am and funnily enough, it only makes them like me more and makes me appear deeper or more intruiging or whatever.

    Yeah, I get what you're saying tho and I guess you're right. But I just really don't get it and while I sort of enjoy being popular like that, I feel I don't deserve it. And it annoys me how I get annoyed by someone liking me because I shouldn't. I makes me feel really conceited and superficial. But it's just like it's no surprise. More like a "Oh, so you too" thing..
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    (Original post by Matt_2K)
    Are most of your friends guys? or do you have a lot of female friends too?
    I don't have many friends in general. Some close ones but I am a bit of a loner. My best friends are girls, but in general, girls don't necessarily like me as much, if that's what you're getting at. I do get along with them tho and I wouldn't say I'm considered a total ***** or anything. I've been told they didn't want me at parties because I was "hard to live up to" tho and it doesn't make much sense to me. I'm really not fishing for compliments here, I just find it frustrating how I cannot even enjoy being liked. Or feel as good about myself as these other people do.
    • #2
    #2

    I know what you mean. For me, it's similiar but not 9/10 but maybe 6/10 that happens with girls. sometimes i don't even realize they like me until later. sometimes girls just come up to me without having talked to me before and ask me my name and who i like and stuff (and these are not the slutty ones) or their friends ask me. some more daring girls just tell me i'm attractive. with guys i guess they'll approach you more, but girls i think there could be more than what i know.
    what's weird tho is i don't make much effort to get with girls i like, or even girls that like me that i'm ok with. nowadays i don't have time to like girls but before, sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. i'm not complaining, except maybe for the fact that i don't try harder even when i want to, while some of my friends obsess over getting girls. i don't see myself as that special, but obviously girls do and i must admit that it makes me feel good about myself. looking back, i probably let some good opportunities go, and that's just weird/frustrating.
    as i said, at least you should be happy people like you instead of dislike you and perhaps it should make you feel better about yourself?
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    Like Anonymous (2!) said, be happy they like you rather than dislike you. Even if it annoys you, you'd be a lot more unhappy with things if absolutely nobody liked you at all, ever.

    I'm the same, if somebody asks about something, they really do get the whole long story, they get everything. A little bit of self-hatred seems to intrigue people into really liking you. And the thinking you're 'deep' thing, well, I guess you are. And that's a good thing, so be happy about it. You've gotta take the positives from this. There's gotta be some guys out there who you can be mates with, who won't like you like that..surely..go find them! Have you ever explained all of this to a guy, when you're friends with them, before they make it obvious/tell you, how they feel? If they know about all this happening a lot, maybe they'll hold back?
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    Funny thing is that I actually told the "last" guy all of it and I said something like "don't even dare" and he's a lot older than me and basically a grown man and guess what ?! Well, you just can't win, can you?
    But you're right, not every guy's like that, but almost every guy I would like as a friend is. However, you're definitely right about this being the better way, I'd be unhappier if I was hated all over, that's true... Oh well.
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    Oh, well he sucks
    Do they usually tell you, or is it just obvious?

    How old are you?
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    Nah, he doesn't suck, he's a good bloke, I just don't like him like that. And I think they don't just hit on me to give it a try, most of them actually nearly fall in love with me With some it's just obvious, but the "tough" cases really open up and keep going on about how they actually have sincere feelings for me and all. I'm 20.
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    Maybe you could adopt some really seriously gross bad habits. or something.

    Yeah, I don't know, it doesn't seem like there's anything you can do, except hope it doesn't happen again. Or stick to girls for friends?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I tell them they shouldn't like me this much and how I am not as "good" as they think I am and funnily enough, it only makes them like me more
    You're dumping fuel on the fire with this one. How is a guy going to react when a cute girl goes "Oh but I'm not good..I'm a bad, bad girl". That sort of comment is going to leave them panting.

    Also some men like an air of vunerability in a girl. They like to think they can protect you and be the big strong man! I know a lot of girls who will play coy and vunerable and a lot of men eat it up.

    I have to say that generally people will not go for girls giving a "f**k off" vibe. It's unsual to attract a lot of people if you don't have an interested air about you. People don't want to be rejected so the fact that they keep asking means they believe there are some sort of reciprocated feelings. Answer this totally honestly..could you be somewhat flirting or giving signs you like them that way? It seems hard to believe that you aren't at all giving any indication of interest and guys are just throwing themselves at you.
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    hey, just wanted to say this was the exact same thing with my old best friend. at one point she even had a guy sit outside her house for 2 hours calling her constantly to come outside and meet him.

    But in the end she met a really nice guy and is stil with him after about 2 years now (the stalker guys best friend, lol).
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    I have difficulty reconciling with the idea that I am physically attractive to anyone, and almost invariably suspect those who purport to be of either exploitation or an otherwise ulterior motive.
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    (Original post by rosetinted)
    You're dumping fuel on the fire with this one. How is a guy going to react when a cute girl goes "Oh but I'm not good..I'm a bad, bad girl". That sort of comment is going to leave them panting.

    Also some men like an air of vunerability in a girl. They like to think they can protect you and be the big strong man! I know a lot of girls who will play coy and vunerable and a lot of men eat it up.

    I have to say that generally people will not go for girls giving a "f**k off" vibe. It's unsual to attract a lot of people if you don't have an interested air about you. People don't want to be rejected so the fact that they keep asking means they believe there are some sort of reciprocated feelings. Answer this totally honestly..could you be somewhat flirting or giving signs you like them that way? It seems hard to believe that you aren't at all giving any indication of interest and guys are just throwing themselves at you.
    Actually, I'm fairly sure I can give a fairly strong "f**k off" vibe a lot of the time, and guys just don't get it...

    I still get asked out about three times a week.

    To the OP: do you like anyone? Because if you had a boyfriend, that would be your perfect excuse for other guys...
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    u shouldnt hate urself if everyone else likes you just think about all the rest of us that are so unfortunate (except apricot fairy who must be a model - just kidding- i like you) and only 2 out of 10 people turn to look at us.
    tbh for me it depends on what i am wearing. if i like waht i am wearing i feel great, if i dont then i feel like white trash.
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    Yeah, I guess I may be flirting to a certain extent, but not really flirting, more like just being friendly. And I'm pretty sure the protecting me theory is true. I look pretty innocent and younger than I am and I'm rather short and skinny and I have always sent off this needing protection vibe even when I didn't mean to ....

    And no, I don't have a boyfriend. I don't get into relationships. That's another reason why I don't understand people being after me. I am completely unable to commit. If I like someone, I'll lose interest pretty much as soon as they're available. And I never even really give things a try. I'm seriously pretty messed up when it comes to relationships and all and I make it so clear and yet it seems to make them want me more. Why would you want to be with someone who carries so much baggage with them?

    And the ***** off vibe, I literally use that term and it never seems to help lol I've had guys talking to me for hours, trying to convince me they were who I needed to get better. And yes, I've had someone stand outside my house for 2 hours before as well. He got there at 5.30 in the morning and had made me breakfast so he was waiting out there till 7.30 when I left for school lol It's insane.

    But you're right, I could have it worse. I am just wondering why someone who's seriously lots of work to deal with seems to be so attractive.
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    It's simple

    Because the male species are stupid

    Therefore they want what they probably shouldnt want

    because they are stupid.
 
 
 
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