Is it ok to accept drinks from strangers if you have a boyfriend?

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Poll: Would you accept a drink from a person in a bar if you had got a girl/boyfriend?
Yes I would accept drink (91)
41.55%
No I would refuse (128)
58.45%
This discussion is closed.
crazyunicorn133
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#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Ok so you're out with friends in a bar one night, and you've been at the bar waiting to get served for aaages.
A guy comes up to you and strikes up a converstaion, seems like a nice guy, no chat up lines or dodginess.

The problem is... you've got a boyfriend. Do you tell the guy you're taken? If you do, do you still accept the drink knowing that the guy might see it as a signal to make a move on you?

Me and my friends were debabting this last night after this same scenaro happened to me. I did accept the drink, though I bought him one back agter telling him I was taken. My friends were like wtf? You should have just taken the drink!!

But i'd have felt bad.

So, girls, Would you accept a drink?

I think i've made a poll but i've never done it before so I hope it works!
12
NightBear
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#2
Report 10 years ago
#2
It seems rude to refuse, but, I'd rather not give a wrong signal.
0
El_Sid
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#3
Report 10 years ago
#3
You did the right thing by being honest with him and buying a drink in return. When a guy randomly approaches you in a pub/club, 99.9% of the time it isn't for a nice conversation. No point in wasting his time (it is possible without being rude) or basically taking his money.
6
cl_steele
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#4
Report 10 years ago
#4
hey alls fair in love and war so longs you dont give him anything in return no harm no fair ... like being offered money in the street no harm in saying yes :rolleyes:
2
Hazular
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#5
Report 10 years ago
#5
I'm poor, I would definitely take the drink. Anything that saves me money, as unethical as it sounds D:
21
Fusion
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#6
Report 10 years ago
#6
Turkeys will be voting for xmas before women say no to this
7
Killer Bean
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#7
Report 10 years ago
#7
Sure I'd accept one, under most circumstances. (Of course, assuming I was a reasonably attractive female in a relationship - of which I am none. ). It's slightly insulting to assume outright that you're being hit on - despite the fact you probably are - and accepting it could as well lead to something of a conversation, as long as you let on that you're taken. And of course, you could well buy them a drink back if you really want to.

If it's in a club, on the other hand, I'd accept the drink and then tell them I'm single to disengage. People who do this are generally douchebags.

There are and should be risks associated with pulling, and losing money for nothing is one of them
2
roseroserose.
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#8
Report 10 years ago
#8
Generally let them know early that I'm taken, or just say "My boyfriend wouldn't like it". There's obviously a chance that you're overassuming that they're hitting on you, but more than likely you'll end up in an awkward situation otherwise
1
Nick1sHere
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#9
Report 10 years ago
#9
I'd take the drink then tell them I'm taken

As they walk away raise your glass and thank them
14
Oldmannow
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#10
Report 10 years ago
#10
If you are an attractive female then theyre probably hitting on you.
If you are an unattractive female then they probably think youre desperate/are easier (in their view) and are hitting on you.

Theyre hitting on you.
16
Raving_Hippy
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#11
Report 10 years ago
#11
(Original post by crazyunicorn133)
Ok so you're out with friends in a bar one night, and you've been at the bar waiting to get served for aaages.
A guy comes up to you and strikes up a converstaion, seems like a nice guy, no chat up lines or dodginess.

The problem is... you've got a boyfriend. Do you tell the guy you're taken? If you do, do you still accept the drink knowing that the guy might see it as a signal to make a move on you?

Me and my friends were debabting this last night after this same scenaro happened to me. I did accept the drink, though I bought him one back agter telling him I was taken. My friends were like wtf? You should have just taken the drink!!

But i'd have felt bad.

So, girls, Would you accept a drink?

I think i've made a poll but i've never done it before so I hope it works!
Why would you be out in a bar if you've already got a boyfriend? I never understand why girls go out to bars dressed up to the nines when they're already in a relationship, then they complain when they get male attention in those bars and they get angry at the men for hitting on them. If you're in a relationship, better to stay in.
44
Megaross
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#12
Report 10 years ago
#12
I accept drinks off gay guys when I go to gay clubs, is there something morally wrong about that being that I'm not gay? Maybe

If you are the kind of person who feels bad being bought a drink then explain to them you're not single and if they still want to buy you a drink let them, some people are just nice.
1
U.S Lecce
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#13
Report 10 years ago
#13
Your asking for trouble by accepting off of strangers. :ahee:

Image
5
gagaslilmonsteruk
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#14
Report 10 years ago
#14
You can't be too careful. Say no at all times regardless of whether you have a relationship or not.
1
cambio wechsel
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#15
Report 10 years ago
#15
(Original post by roseroserose.)
... or just say "My boyfriend wouldn't like it".
If I were your boyfriend, I shouldn't like that. This is a shifting of responsibility which implies that you want to take the drink but are refusing out of deference to the wants of a boyfriend who is either or both of insecure and controlling.

In the event that a girl told me this, I'd say (or anyway think) "you want to get a new boyfriend".
4
username133326
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#16
Report 10 years ago
#16
*sigh*

sadly, girls are allowed to do whatever they please... and if their boyfriend doesn't like it, that boy is 'possessive'


basically, these days taking a drink would be socially acceptable, because when a boy gets upset he's 'jealous' and 'possessive'...
5
username133326
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#17
Report 10 years ago
#17
(Original post by cambio wechsel)
If I were your boyfriend, I shouldn't like that. This is a shifting of responsibility which implies that you want to take the drink but are refusing out of deference to the wants of a boyfriend who is either or both of insecure and controlling.

In the event that a girl told me this, I'd say (or anyway think) "you want to get a new boyfriend".
respecting your partner's feelings is not a bad thing...

i've said it before, relationships are not built on trust, they are built on mutual respect...
2
A Perfect Circle
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#18
Report 10 years ago
#18
In my opinion it's not OK.

If you're a girl and a guy whom you've never met before is offering to buy you a drink, it's clear that he's romantically interested. By accepting the drink you're leading him to believe that he has a chance when he doesn't (or at least shouldn't do if you have a bf you care about!) Not nice. If I were the bf I'd be annoyed and if I were the drink-buyer I'd be annoyed.

This is all irrelevant anyway because as an adult woman, you ought to be capable of buying your own damn drink.
10
cambio wechsel
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#19
Report 10 years ago
#19
(Original post by Barden)
respecting your partner's feelings is not a bad thing...
I don't disagree. My point was that if I were the boyfriend I should prefer:

"No, [I won't drink with you because] I have a boyfriend."

To

"No, [I want to drink with you and am being stopped by the fact that] my boyfriend wouldn't like it."


I can understand the political value of using the second, it saves face and avoids further negotiation by shifting the decision to a default policy established with reference to a 3rd person not present; essentially, it's him and not me who doesn't want this. But I think it casts the boyfriend in a faintly unfavourable light, as nervous and insecure, and is therefore the less respectful of the relationship than is the first.
1
username133326
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#20
Report 10 years ago
#20
(Original post by cambio wechsel)
I don't disagree. My point was that if I were the boyfriend I should prefer:

"No, [I won't drink with you because] I have a boyfriend."

To

"No, [I want to drink with you and am being stopped by the fact that] my boyfriend wouldn't like it."


I can understand the political value of using the second, it saves face and avoids further negotiation by shifting the decision to a default policy established with reference to a 3rd person not present; essentially, it's him and not me who doesn't want this. But I think it casts the boyfriend in a faintly unfavourable light, as nervous and insecure, and is therefore the less respectful of the relationship than is the first.
ah ok, fair enough
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