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    those who stay in a relationship for the heck of it or because they have nothing else to do is stupid
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    its never gonna work if you already thinking bout "what if". me and my bf been together been together 8 years... only the last 2 years we have been living together eventually, the rest of the time was seeing each other when we could and having to be very, very patient!!.. When you really love each other it hurts like hell... and sometimes when you had a bad day and you really need that person, you think like throwing it all away...but you dont... not when you REALLY love someone.
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    (Original post by strawberry)
    those who stay in a relationship for the heck of it or because they have nothing else to do is stupid
    Well actually, they probably think it's quite clever: if you haven't got anything at the moment, just "settle" for something else while you wait for something to come along...

    I'd say that the stupid thing about this attitude is that when you're involved with someone, whether it be serious, non-serious, casual... you're not opening yourself up to the opportunity of falling for someone else.
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    I would say they can work but if you're having doubts even before it starts it's kinda worrying
    I was in one and it worked for a few months but it was a lot of pressure, it wasn't all to do with the distance though, his feelings changed and therefore he wanted something to blame it on I think
    Takes lots time and effort but good luck
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    Why worry about it now? There is at least 6 months until you go to university and anything can happen before then. Without wanting to put a dampener on things- you might not even be together by then so there is no point in worrying about university. Enjoy the time you have together at the moment instead of thinking about if you'll manage when you get to uni. I'll have been with my boyfriend 2 years by the time we move for uni in September, I'm going to Edinburgh, he is going to Liverpool, but I'm not worrying about it yet. If its meant to be you'll be fine.
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    Also, who would want to be in a long distance relationship for a very very long time - e.g. more than 4 years. and sometimes it is inexcusable to have a long distance relationship- sometimes people are bored and unwilling to make sacrifices for the sake of a relationship. For example, if my partner was told that he had to go the USA branch of his company I would follow him. I would not agree on long distance. Also, if my partner was going to Uni I would make sure that we apply to the same Uni's so that we can be together. But of course, I am talking about serious relationships here and not 17 year old madness (no offence)
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    beanie's post is pretty good :top:

    In today's world you can never be guaranteed that you will find a boyfriend/girlfriend who lives in the same town and that for years and years, you'll be together in that very same town.
    People are a lot more mobile and that trend is not going to disappear in the future. For work, for university, people have to go to the other side of the country, have to go abroad.
    It's not because you see a time where you won't be in the same geographical location, that the relationship is doomed. In that sense, every relationship is doomed. It's no longer possible to just stay in the same town all your life with your highschool sweetheart... Distance is a huge obstacle but it's something people in relationships are going to have to get used to (if the relationship's worth it). It's not just when going to uni that you will face this kind of situation.
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    #1

    so you were never 17?
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    (Original post by beanie)
    Why worry about it now? There is at least 6 months until you go to university and anything can happen before then. Without wanting to put a dampener on things- you might not even be together by then so there is no point in worrying about university. Enjoy the time you have together at the moment instead of thinking about if you'll manage when you get to uni. I'll have been with my boyfriend 2 years by the time we move for uni in September, I'm going to Edinburgh, he is going to Liverpool, but I'm not worrying about it yet. If its meant to be you'll be fine.
    well u cant have a relationship thinking that u might not be together. Plus, beanie u made a choice right? ur boyfriend wil be in Liverpool and u chose uni over ur relationship. U could have gone to Manchester and be closer to him. i am aware of course that u will have the holidays together and perhaps it is better to be at uni without a boyfriend cos that way both of u will study more:rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i go to uni next year and so does my girlfriend and the unis are about 200 miles apart.

    has anyone had experience of a long distance relationship and do they really work? we've been together a long time and i love her loads but i'm scared i might have too much to drink and get with someone else when i'm frustrated (sexually) and there is the chance she could too.
    post-uni long distance relationships can work (I am in one), if you both work at it. But very few relationships survive going off to uni in places far away from each other, it needs a lot of effort and maturity, and uni is a place where people usually develop somewhat, and sometimes that development can take you both in different directions. Its always worth a try if you love each other, but you must really be determined from the start or you wont have a chance.
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    #1

    some really useful advice from a good perspective. Thank you
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    (Original post by mrteacher)
    well u cant have a relationship thinking that u might not be together. Plus, beanie u made a choice right? ur boyfriend wil be in Liverpool and u chose uni over ur relationship. U could have gone to Manchester and be closer to him. i am aware of course that u will have the holidays together and perhaps it is better to be at uni without a boyfriend cos that way both of u will study more:rolleyes:
    Yes I could have gone to Manchester or he could have come up with me, but we are both said right from the beginning that we'd both go where we wanted to go and then we'd make it work. We don't want to leave each other but there is no point going somewhere you're not going to be happy. All I'm saying is that you don't know whats going to happen in the future. Over the summer we had a month of literally no communication (I did a placement in a very remote part of Costa Rica) and it was so hard but we managed it. Its made us stronger as we've been appart, but at the end of the day there are so many ways of keeping in contact now that hopefully we'll be alright.
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    I think in some ways it helps to be at separate universities. While it would have been great to be here while my boyfriend was, I think I probably would have been chucked out for never doing any work!! I think it gives you the opportunity to enjoy separate social and work lives - I have a vibrant social life and if my boyfriend was here all the time I probably wouldn't want to go out as much. It helps you to be independent as well as having the security of someone who loves you. It's like any relationship - if it works, then it works, if it doesn't, then it doesn't. C'est la vie.
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    (Original post by beanie)
    Yes I could have gone to Manchester or he could have come up with me, but we are both said right from the beginning that we'd both go where we wanted to go and then we'd make it work. We don't want to leave each other but there is no point going somewhere you're not going to be happy. All I'm saying is that you don't know whats going to happen in the future. Over the summer we had a month of literally no communication (I did a placement in a very remote part of Costa Rica) and it was so hard but we managed it. Its made us stronger as we've been appart, but at the end of the day there are so many ways of keeping in contact now that hopefully we'll be alright.
    So you are not placing enough faith on ur relationship. It is totally understandable - dont get me wrong here- but i get the feelig that ur relationship is not number one priority for you. that's ok and you guys should be ok. I would do things differently, because my relationship matters the most and i would be happier living with my partner and going to a crap uni, rather than going to Harvard and being an ocean apart. You are right - u dont know what might happen in the future, u might break up, but i would take the risk. It is people who always make me happy and the satisfaction that I get from a degree or studying cannot compete with the satisfaction, the pleasure and the fulfillment of what I have now as a relationship. You guys wil be ok though, as long as you both agree and believe the same thing
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    (Original post by mrteacher)
    So you are not placing enough faith on ur relationship. It is totally understandable - dont get me wrong here- but i get the feelig that ur relationship is not number one priority for you. that's ok and you guys should be ok. I would do things differently, because my relationship matters the most and i would be happier living with my partner and going to a crap uni, rather than going to Harvard and being an ocean apart. You are right - u dont know what might happen in the future, u might break up, but i would take the risk. It is people who always make me happy and the satisfaction that I get from a degree or studying cannot compete with the satisfaction, the pleasure and the fulfillment of what I have now as a relationship. You guys wil be ok though, as long as you both agree and believe the same thing
    My relationship is number one priority, but not to the extent that I am going to become one of those girls who can not walk without their boyfriend holding their hand. Thats ridiculous. I want to go to univeristy and I'm going to go where I want to go, I'm the one paying for it after all. My boyfriend shares the same feelings. I know he would never stand in the way of anything I wanted to do, and I wouldn't stop him doing what he wants. You seem to be ok with you're doing and thats really great as you've obviously got a brilliant relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love him so much and its scaring me when I think that we won't be able to see him and be with him all the time and come August I'll be wishing we were going to the same place... but, in the long run I hope we'll both get more out of uni not being at the same one, as at college we share all of our friends, do everything together and our friends see us as '**** and ***'. Although at the same time I can see why you want to be with your partner, and thats cool .
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    :congrats:
    well said.
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    (Original post by beanie)
    My relationship is number one priority, but not to the extent that I am going to become one of those girls who can not walk without their boyfriend holding their hand. Thats ridiculous. I want to go to univeristy and I'm going to go where I want to go, I'm the one paying for it after all. My boyfriend shares the same feelings. I know he would never stand in the way of anything I wanted to do, and I wouldn't stop him doing what he wants. You seem to be ok with you're doing and thats really great as you've obviously got a brilliant relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love him so much and its scaring me when I think that we won't be able to see him and be with him all the time and come August I'll be wishing we were going to the same place... but, in the long run I hope we'll both get more out of uni not being at the same one, as at college we share all of our friends, do everything together and our friends see us as '**** and ***'. Although at the same time I can see why you want to be with your partner, and thats cool .
    I understand our point. You are right so you shouldnt worry... good luck
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    I was considering going back to my home country to attend the Malaysian branch of Nottingham...but then my boyfriend goes there so it's a bit iffy cos we would always be in each other's dorms "studying". :P
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    I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment.
    At first i found it really hard, and all i did was miss him, because my other relationships have been close by.
    However now i enjoy the time i have with him, and then when i come back home, I get on with what i have to do and just look forward to when i get to see him next.
    I quite often go without seeing him for a month r so at a time and it can be hard, but we talk on the phone, text etc lots and its fine.
    The key to a LDR working is without a doubt trust. I completely trust by bf and he trusts me, so its fine.
    An advantage of having a LDR is that when you do get to spend time with them, you appreciate it so so so much more.
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    I'm just dreading having to spend that much money on plane tickets. I may just have to give up eating... :s: There should be travel bursaries for loved up students in long distance relationships!
 
 
 
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