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Going out with someone you don't find attractive ?

There's this guy I like (as a friend) and he's awesome, he's funny and nice and the right age (he's older than me, which I like) and he totally adores me and thinks I'm special etc. We have a good time together and all, but I find him horribly unattractive, as bad as that sounds. I could never start anything with him because I am just not attracted to his looks. I know this sounds terribly superficial, and maybe then I am, but would you ever date someone you find truly unattractive? I mean, he's not just not my type, he is unattractive. Ouch. lol Just checking if this makes me a horrible person or if others would feel similar...

Reply 1

££Millionaire££

to be honest if you don't find him attractive sexually then that's called friendship. Which is what you have. Keep it at that or he will end up being hurt

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Wow, that's a very plain answer, but you're totally right. I guess that's really what it is then. And no, I wasn't planning on even giving it a try, but yeah ... you're right. Just wondering if others would feel the same. I don't mean to be superficial, but it's not my fault if I am not attracted to someone even tho they are good people ?!

Reply 3

££Millionaire££

Exactly, there's nothing wrong with not liking him if the chemistry just isn't there. Don't feel bad

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Cheers

I just hate to say "I like you but you're unattractive" if he every actually makes a move on me :rollseyes:

Reply 5

Nightowl

12

Be diplomatic - "Your not my type".

Reply 6

££Millionaire££

keep making it clear that you're just good friends. drop subtle hints. never give him room to say that he likes you. but if he ever does - say you think he's an excellent friend.. great person etc but you never want to ruin that so it could never happen

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Good one

I'll keep that in mind :smile:

Has anything similar ever happened to anyone else?

Reply 8

Myself.

you could make him wear a mask

unless its not just his face thats the problem; in that case a full body suit, such a monkey costume.

Reply 9

Inclination

6

I went out with a girl I was not attracted to, but we were friends, and I still have nightmares a year later.

Reply 10

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

There's this guy I like (as a friend) and he's awesome, he's funny and nice and the right age (he's older than me, which I like) and he totally adores me and thinks I'm special etc. We have a good time together and all, but I find him horribly unattractive, as bad as that sounds. I could never start anything with him because I am just not attracted to his looks. I know this sounds terribly superficial, and maybe then I am, but would you ever date someone you find truly unattractive? I mean, he's not just not my type, he is unattractive. Ouch. lol Just checking if this makes me a horrible person or if others would feel similar...

what happens when you get old? Ya gonna keep replacing for a yonger version?

Reply 11

meepmeep

££Millionaire££

keep making it clear that you're just good friends. drop subtle hints. never give him room to say that he likes you. but if he ever does - say you think he's an excellent friend.. great person etc but you never want to ruin that so it could never happen

No, say, "You're not my type" or "I'm sorry I don't fancy you/just like you as a friend" please, as if he is a nice guy like you say, don't lie to him. Hearing, "I don't want to ruin our friendship," is very frustrating and some guys takes this as meaning, "I like you too but don't want to risk our friendship. Care to pursuade me?"

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

I've been there, done that, n got the tshirt. It ended horribly as i became to attatched with him, even though he wasn't my type he had all the personality qualities i love. He was able to make me laugh in any situation, was caring and sensitive and i just felt safe with him. He broke my heart, n has now got a new gf, oh well :frown:

Reply 13

starya

Is it just his looks or his whole personality that you're not attracted to?
If it's just his looks, that's superficial, but if you're not attracted to his personality then that's just how it is.

Reply 14

Unregistered

Anonymous

There's this guy I like (as a friend) and he's awesome, he's funny and nice and the right age (he's older than me, which I like) and he totally adores me and thinks I'm special etc. We have a good time together and all, but I find him horribly unattractive, as bad as that sounds. I could never start anything with him because I am just not attracted to his looks. I know this sounds terribly superficial, and maybe then I am, but would you ever date someone you find truly unattractive? I mean, he's not just not my type, he is unattractive. Ouch. lol Just checking if this makes me a horrible person or if others would feel similar...

I was in a similar situation, i liked my boyfriend for his personality and the connection we shared and i did in a way find him attractive but like you not that much. However, I felt that this could grow and now 7 months later we are lving together and i honestly cannot get enough of him, i only have eyes for him-he is gorgeous. so my advice is, if you think it could grow then explore the idea of a relationship and be honest with him. my boyf knew that i wasnt sure of my attraction-the worst thing you can do is to hide it. However, from your post you really emphasise this thing about him not being your type, which i didnt feel so strongly on, but you need to consider your options and his feelings

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

There's this guy I like (as a friend) and he's awesome, he's funny and nice and the right age (he's older than me, which I like) and he totally adores me and thinks I'm special etc. We have a good time together and all, but I find him horribly unattractive, as bad as that sounds. I could never start anything with him because I am just not attracted to his looks. I know this sounds terribly superficial, and maybe then I am, but would you ever date someone you find truly unattractive? I mean, he's not just not my type, he is unattractive. Ouch. lol Just checking if this makes me a horrible person or if others would feel similar...

I would say don't go out with him if you're not attracted, simply because I would find it a bit dishonest to go out with him. I would hate it if a girl was going out with me but was not physically attracted.

Plus, if it came to that stage: a girl who is capable of being sexual with a guy she finds "horribly unattractive", well that's just a bit disgusting.

Reply 16

Anonymous #4

how old are u and the guy you are referring to?
also do u live in a city or a remote town where guys are hard to come by?

Reply 17

Jelkin

17

No, it's not superficial. You need to have chemistry with someone for it to work. I've been in relationships where I haven't found the person that attractive, though, and I tend to find them more and more attractive as time goes on and I get to be more fond of them. So it's kind of difficult to advise you, but I will say this: if it doesn't feel right, don't do it! And like someone else said, just say 'you're not my type' or something. No need to be entirely blunt! :biggrin:

Reply 18

Higgy

2

I went out with my last gf for a year and didnt find her attractive

Reply 19

Ay! Dirty Boy!

1

Anonymous

There's this guy I like (as a friend) and he's awesome, he's funny and nice and the right age (he's older than me, which I like) and he totally adores me and thinks I'm special etc. We have a good time together and all, but I find him horribly unattractive, as bad as that sounds. I could never start anything with him because I am just not attracted to his looks. I know this sounds terribly superficial, and maybe then I am, but would you ever date someone you find truly unattractive? I mean, he's not just not my type, he is unattractive. Ouch. lol Just checking if this makes me a horrible person or if others would feel similar...

It sounds like you should keep things friendly - you never mentioned whether you wanted to have a relationship, so your obviously not thinking along those lines. Stay friends or you'll lose him.

Going out with someone you don't find attractive ?

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