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Reply 500
Dear you,

I reckon I've needed to write this for a good month now, but I've never really been confident enough to admit to myself the situation we're now in. We used to be such good friends, admittedly, our friendship never had what i really hoped for in a friendship, but it was enough to keep me content.

But the past few months, you've changed. And as i write this, i have so many things rushing through my brain that i need to say. But, i think it all boils down to the fact, you've simply changed. Your not what you were 6 months ago, and that hurts.

I feel like I'm the one that puts all the effort in, i try my hardest to see you whenever i can, i try my best to make you happy; i get on with your parents, i care for your sisters, i try to do what most girls want from a friendship. But it just never seems appreciated. To me, it all feels one sided, and lately, I've started to feel like I'm now just a nuisance.

If you know this or not, i care for you a lot more than you think. But lately, I'm starting to think 'what's the point'. You put me down more than you realise, and comments you make are starting to hurt. I've tried telling you all this, but i don't think you truly understand.

All i ever want in a friendship, is love and trust. Just to be able to sit and have a cuddle and a conversation. But even that, i get the impression, is just too much to ask. And now I'm battling with myself constantly over whether I'm over reacting.

I just feel like everything is coming from me, and even when you blame me for ridiculous things, it all has an effect. I'm sorry to myself, for constantly apologizing for things that just aren't my fault. I'm beginning to think that this friendship isn't going no-where.

But, at the same time, i want to fight for it. We were strong, we got on well together, and i enjoyed being with you, and i think you feel the same. And i so desperately want that back.

Then again, i don't know how much more i can emotionally take. I just want to tell myself i'll give it all one more shot, and if it doesn't work, i'll move on, but i just see myself letting you walk straight back into my life as you please.

I don't think you properly realise the effort i put in, little silly things, waiting for you to reply when you never actually do, asking you about what's happening in your life, trying to convey an interest in your hobbies. I don't suppose it would hurt to return the favor every now and again.

I can take a joke just as much as the next lad, but everything seems to be wearing thin now. All i want is honesty, love, and trust, the rest comes naturally. I'm sick of being a doormat, and i get the feeling I'm just being used, as and when you need me.

At the same time, I'm battling with myself that your not like that, and maybe I'm just completely blowing everything out of proportion. I think all i need right now, is a hug off you, and things to go back like they were, just for you to actually show care.

Love,
Me x
Dear you,
I want you to know that you have been the one I could change the world just to have you. Now you are not that person anymore simply because I know I would never be able to change this world.
Loves,
Me
Dear you,

I've just found out that there is nothing more they can do for you. You're dying.

Writing those words and seeing it in black and white makes it seem more horribly real. I cant stand this pain!

I used to think that everything happens for a reason, but what possible good reason could there be for you not being here anymore?

I can't cope with this anymore, it hurts too much.

I love you. Please don't leave me.

Please.

Lots of Love, me xxx
Reply 503
Dear you,

I forgive you for everything you did to me. but please be clear that I will never ever forget it and you will never find a way back into my heart as much as it pains me to say. I will probably never see you again and despite everything, this makes me sad. I still wish the best for you.

love me x
Dear You,

I really don't know what to say. Some things are so hard to put into words.

But here goes...

I feel deeply sad and sorry for you, for all the things you have been put through. It's not right and it's not nice. You didn't deserve any of it and none of it is your fault. It knocked you down big time and you are not to blame for that. It's hurtful, and now you are so damaged.

I understand why you suffer from depression sometimes. I understand why you feel so suicidal. It was the most devastating time to be in the hospital after your suicide attempt. But it's nice and such a relief to know that you are trying to get help, and soon you will start to rebuild your life. I understand why you think so negatively. I understand why you are so paranoid. I understand why you have very little faith in humanity. I understand that you are so hurt, and I feel hurt for you. Even when I am happy, I feel hurt, anger and sadness for you, because I know you feel that way too. I know you feel a lot of pain in your heart, and I feel that pain too.

I understand you, even when no-one else in the world does. I stick with you, even when no one else does. I support you even when no one does. I guess it's you and I against the world!
But seriously, no one deserves to to go through what you did. I am sad that you went through all the things you went through, but I am even more saddened by the fact that it has completely destroyed you. It's not your fault at all. People around you who should have loved/helped/supported you failed you massively.
The demons are well and truly present, even when you shall enter recovery. It guess the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" isn't always true to be honest. I guess you will have to learn to live with the demons and control them. Here's hoping therapy will work.

I know you feel weak physically and mentally a lot of the time, and I do too. It is not easy feeling so emotionally drained, and I feel that way too, but I really really want you to recover and get better. Hopefully you when you start living your new life you can keep your demons at bay.

Hopefully there will come a time where you can be a normal person living a normal life.

Love,

Me
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 505
Dear You,

I wish you could understand how I truly feel for you; and that all the stupid things I've done were just to try to protect myself from falling deeper in to your spell.
I wish it wasn't so hard when I see you with her; I wish I could just forget.

Me.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Dear you,

We're not talking anymore, and to be honest I don't know if that'll ever change. You broke up with me just over a week ago and moved on very quickly indeed. You said you loved me, and then it all came crumbling down two days later. Suddenly you feel absolutely nothing for me, and I find that a slap in the face. I often sit here and wonder if you're lying to make your decision to leave me a bit easier (granted you had your reasons) but then your actions afterwards come to mind and make me question whether you ever really were the person I thought you were.

You complain about how I handled the break-up, but frankly your behaviour was disgusting. You laid into me on numerous accounts, and despite being in the wrong you felt I was the one who deserved nothing when you got back. You now say you hate yourself for hurting me, but again, how am I supposed to believe it? You have essentially rubbed it in my face at times, and to anyone else show no remorse whatsoever.

I hope if we do ever talk again you're a lot more mature than now. I know deep down I deserved better than this, and I can't help feeling that really you're better than this. Maybe that's what makes this harder for me. Feeling like you should've done better by me. I dunno if you were led astray by friends or if you were just conning me with who I thought you were for the past seven months, but you left me feeling empty inside. That is a big deal. You knew I loved you and you took it and crushed it for your own selfish reasons/actions.

I could never say this to your face, I could never just say the harsh truth about what you've done and walk away without saying something nice to you. That's because I love you and I can't help but adore you. You used that, though. I know I had problems and I was far from perfect, but I never deserved this. You don't deserve to be able to swan around either, acting like this isn't a big deal. One day you'll fall in love and see how much of a big deal this actually was.

For your sake, I hope you find somebody good. Because you lost someone good here - You may have ended it, but it was the wrong decision. You then smashed it to the ground by your later actions. You had a good guy in your life, I hope that doesn't turn out to be your one chance to have one.

I love you.

Me.
Dear you,

You should be with me, not him. He doesn't treat you how you deserve to be treated. I would not give you a reason to cry.

Me.
Dear You
I miss you. I know it hasn't been that long really, and everybody tells me I shouldn't miss you, but I do. I pretend that I no longer feel anything for you, I pretend to be strong, ad I pretend that I'm looking for someone else. But I'm not. I still have feelings for you, even after all you did to hurt me. If I could turn back time, I'd have stopped talking to him when you asked me too, and even though nothing ever happened and we were just friends, and we still are only just friends, I still feel guilty for ever causing you any hurt. I never liked him, and I should have stopped his flirting sooner. But even taking that into account, you had no reason to hurt me as much as you did, and I wish I could hate you, because everything would be so much easier. I wish you hadn't left, because I think we could have worked things out if we had the chance. But you were stubborn, and wouldn't even consider it, even though you knew I was being fair. I gave you the chance to end us before you went to university, and you refused it, so I stuck by you. I went through all that pain, worry and panic, just to have you leave me without a moments warning. 6 hours earlier you had been telling me how much you loved me! You had me completely fooled. But now I look back and see that you obviously didn't love me, and hadn't for a while. I wish I'd confronted you about it at the time, rather than ignoring the tension and leaving it to happen when it did. It broke me, and I've not been the same since. I wish you were still around, because I might have managed to hold it together if I had you. But I don't, and it's been the hardest 9 months of my life. I wish you knew what I've been going through, but I think you hate me, and I don't know why, and I think if you knew you'd hate me even more for being so weak and pathetic. But despite everything, I miss you. I just want to be hugged one last time by you, and told everything will be all right. Because right now, nothing looks all right, and I'm scared.
I love you, and I always will xxx
Reply 509
Dear you,

I've pushed my luck too many times with you, so I don't want to risk it by talking to you again. I want you to hear this from me, though, because it really is important to me. I guess that's why i'm posting here. I guess that's why i'm posting with my user rather than anonymously. If you read this then maybe you were supposed to hear this.

I know i've said this to you already, but it was a bit ago and there's been no rest-bite for either of us to really miss the other. You may never miss me, and if that's the case then fine. But please, if you do miss me, just come back. I know i'm not going to get you back how i'd like to have (as much as I believe I can be the type of guy you want, and as much as I believe 'never say never') but maybe as a friend, you'd miss me. Maybe more, I dunno. Hope more than anything talking there.

Just, please, if you ever miss me, don't be stubborn and think it's not worth it. I still want you in my life in any capacity. If you want the same, whatever it may be, tell me and i'll make it work. I know i'll miss you. I just hope you'll miss me too.

Me. x
(edited 11 years ago)
Dear You,

I'm lonely. Please come into my life already. I just want to cry.

Love, me.
Dear You,

Probably you will read this, cause I will mention it in the book I will give to you in 1 month.

I was willing to give up everything for you, and in a way I did. I left my country looking for an opportunity for us to be together. I failed, wasn't able to handle the pressure and my own demons. I couldn't hold a long distance relationship with you even though we were apart only for 1600 km instead of two continents. I was young and naive, and I'm sorry for breaking your hearth.

But still, I managed to pull myself together back again and fought for a brighter future for us, together in London. You have to know that for me as a non European its not easy, and I have felt rejected so many times that ego cant hold. But in the end I managed to find a solution and got an offer from an University that's 20 mins from where you live. But now, that we are only days from meeting again after almost one year without seeing each other I feel my feelings are weak. After all these 2 years fighting for being together, now is when I feel more apart from you. I got hurt along the way, and what I think hurts me the most is that you gave up on me and didn't believe on my capacities. Sometimes I think you came to your senses and started treating me better too late.

Now I'm the one who doesn't feel sure if we belong to each other. I don't know how easy can be for me to let go all the pain you caused me, and I find it hard right now to forgive you. I find this whole situation really ironic.

I'm writing this without knowing for sure if we will be back together. I know that you will never make up for the depression and my illness, because you will say that you had your reasons for acting the way you did, perhaps you did. Still I didn't feel loved or take cared for a long time, and no one can take that feeling.

Right now I just pray for both of us of finding happiness, whether is together or not. I used to think that without no doubt you were the woman of my life and the mother of my children, but these days my head and my hearth have been spinning around all over the place thinking about how right for me you are. Maybe I just need to start from scratch, even if its with you.

Its hard to think now in a perfect future, when for so long you didn't want to see it, or at least I felt it like that.

Days will pass, and both of us will see.

I tried my best

I love you
Dear You,

I know about this time last year you enjoyed my friendship while you were heartbroken...I enjoyed your company too.

Now I need you to do the same for me. I'm in the same position now and I don't know who else to go to because I know you've been through it yourself, and you've been good at keeping me happy in the past. But I'm finding it so hard to reach out to you :frown:
I'll message you on your birthday simply to send best wishes and I hope you'll be able to see I need your help. I think that's why I'm writing this now (albeit BADLY), in the hope you'll read it.

Lots of love,
A friend.
Original post by Schmucks
Dear you,

I've pushed my luck too many times with you, so I don't want to risk it by talking to you again. I want you to hear this from me, though, because it really is important to me. I guess that's why i'm posting here. I guess that's why i'm posting with my user rather than anonymously. If you read this then maybe you were supposed to hear this.

I know i've said this to you already, but it was a bit ago and there's been no rest-bite for either of us to really miss the other. You may never miss me, and if that's the case then fine. But please, if you do miss me, just come back. I know i'm not going to get you back how i'd like to have (as much as I believe I can be the type of guy you want, and as much as I believe 'never say never') but maybe as a friend, you'd miss me. Maybe more, I dunno. Hope more than anything talking there.

Just, please, if you ever miss me, don't be stubborn and think it's not worth it. I still want you in my life in any capacity. If you want the same, whatever it may be, tell me and i'll make it work. I know i'll miss you. I just hope you'll miss me too.

Me. x


God, this has tipped me. I wish this was to me.

You're from the same county as him too..:frown:
Dear you,

I'm not sure why I would write this here. But the truth is it's been consuming me for years. You are my step-brother and I was just a child. Inappropriate is an understatement... I was just a child.

I didn't understand what you were doing, but I knew it was wrong. You always act like nothing happened, and some moments it is like it never did. But there isn't a single day where my mind doesn't take me back to the fear and worry of what the day would bring when you would come round to the house.

Years have passed now, I'm 22 and I am doing so much more with my life than you. But I still see you, we still have Christmas, family dinners, and every other occasion together. I could never tell anyone because I know it would kill everyone. Especially my stepdad. The best man I've ever known, I can't destroy what's left of my family.

You took something from me I can never get back and I can never forgive you for what you have done. What's worse is that as time has passed I should be moving on but it just gets harder.

I was a child and the only reason I didn't react was fear you would go near my baby sister. But now I'm ****ed up.

One day I will tell my story. One day you will need to give anwers. But until then my thoughts and nightmares will continue to consume me.

I hope you know what you've done to me.
Dear you,

These past few weeks would've been a lot easier if you were around. I miss you.

Me.
Reply 516
Dear you,

Your name is a pretty accurate description of your effect on my life (as well as being freakin' stupid, which is so nice to finally say.) I wish that I didn't miss you. I wish that I didn't still care about you, want to be with you and be so attracted to you. It feels like my mind and body is betraying me. And the memories of the time we spent together keep coming back, of the funny things that you said, when you supported me when I cried and got crazy, and when you would grab my hand. The worst times are when I remember the sex, and I still want you. I find it so hard to deal with the fact that you just don't want me, and I don't understand why. I didn't do anything wrong. When you don't do anything wrong, things like this shouldn't happen.

I know that I shouldn't like you. There's something so off about you. You seem so cold, so contained, so distant. I could never tell what you were thinking, and you hardly show any feelings at all sometimes. I think that was why being with you made me so sad, so irrational. How do you really feel, really? How much of what we see is actually real? You said that you need to stay in control all the time, because you couldn't handle it otherwise. But that must be terribly lonely.

I feel petty for being unable to be friends with you right now, but I'm not going to sit across from you in a freaking coffee shop and make happy talk like nothing happened. Being close to you hurts, and it's not fair to expect me to be your friend so soon, because I can't do it. You can't expect me to act like nothing happened. I've told you all this, and you just apologise in that flat voice, like you don't know what else to say. I don't think you're capable of feeling anything at all any more.

The worst part is that night we were both hammered in our coursemate's back garden, it made me so happy just to hold your hand, to talk to you, to hug you. I didn't want to leave, I just wanted it to last a little longer, even though I knew that you'd never say what I wanted you to say.

You'll never say what I want you to say.

But I guess I knew that all along.

Me.
Original post by Anonymous
Dear you,

I'm not sure why I would write this here. But the truth is it's been consuming me for years. You are my step-brother and I was just a child. Inappropriate is an understatement... I was just a child.

I didn't understand what you were doing, but I knew it was wrong. You always act like nothing happened, and some moments it is like it never did. But there isn't a single day where my mind doesn't take me back to the fear and worry of what the day would bring when you would come round to the house.

Years have passed now, I'm 22 and I am doing so much more with my life than you. But I still see you, we still have Christmas, family dinners, and every other occasion together. I could never tell anyone because I know it would kill everyone. Especially my stepdad. The best man I've ever known, I can't destroy what's left of my family.

You took something from me I can never get back and I can never forgive you for what you have done. What's worse is that as time has passed I should be moving on but it just gets harder.

I was a child and the only reason I didn't react was fear you would go near my baby sister. But now I'm ****ed up.

One day I will tell my story. One day you will need to give anwers. But until then my thoughts and nightmares will continue to consume me.

I hope you know what you've done to me.


You really should tell someone

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-S5830
Dearest you,

Wow, what a year 2011 was. Being kicked out of sixth form and starting again at College. I felt like a complete failure, but when I met you in early October, I fell in love with you. Yes, you are three years younger than I am but I don't care, I love you. You're 15 and I'm 18 but I feel that you're more mature than most of the girls I've met. That time you rested on my shoulder on the train was one of the most euphoric moments of my life, I felt love, real love. Now that I've completed my AS levels and I'm anticipating my grades I think back to a poem called Ulysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson I know that a relationship between us wouldn't be like Penelope and Ulysses but I hope like Ulysses that I am going "to strive to seek to find and not to yield". I hope that over the coming years you'll recognise my determination in all that I do. Even though age is just a number I am still plagued by the engulfing feeling of social stance towards an age gap relationship. I hope you see me for who I am as a man who is determined to do well in life despite the setbacks of my old sixth form and the bullying I've faced. I'm still fighting it and I will get high grades not only for me but for you, all for you. My love. I want to be in a relationship with you but stigmatised rejection is preventing this but let me promise this now, I will try and if I fall I hope we can still be good friends. My love.

Yours

Gatsby
Dearest you,

Wow, what a year 2011 was. Being kicked out of sixth form and starting again at College. I felt like a complete failure, but when I met you in early October, I fell in love with you. Yes, you are three years younger than I am but I don't care, I love you. You're 15 and I'm 18 but I feel that you're more mature than most of the girls I've met. That time you rested on my shoulder on the train was one of the most euphoric moments of my life, I felt love, real love. Now that I've completed my AS levels and I'm anticipating my grades I think back to a poem called Ulysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson I know that a relationship between us wouldn't be like Penelope and Ulysses but I hope like Ulysses that I am going "to strive to seek to find and not to yield". I hope that over the coming years you'll recognise my determination in all that I do. For you're like Daisy to Gatsby, Benedick to Beatrice and the USS Enterprise to Jean Luc Picard

Even though age is just a number I am still plagued by the engulfing feeling of social stance towards an age gap relationship. I hope you see me for who I am as a man who is determined to do well in life despite the setbacks of my old sixth form and the bullying I've faced. I'm still fighting it and I will get high grades not only for me but for you, My love. I want to be in a relationship with you but stigmatised rejection is preventing this but let me promise this now, I will try and if I fall I hope we can still be good friends. My love.

Forever yours,

Gray Fox