The Student Room Group

I Feel Broken Inside :(

My girlfriend cheated on me (kissed another guy multiple times). I could just about deal with that. I went round last night to talk about it, she had him on her MSN. I said just delete him but NO, she had to talk to him...I mean maybe its just me but if you dont like someone and are sorry about having kissed them and betrayed your boyfriend who you supposedly love...you dont even give them the time of day ie delete them from MSN, or better yet not even add them.

Then today I just found out she has his ****ing number in her phone. I'm gutted. Am I strange for thinking that if you dont like a person, and actually care about your boyfriend you DO NOT get someones phone number. I mean kissing them is bad enough but getting their phone no and MSN?

She says she won't do it again but really I'm shattered and can't stand to be near her anymore. I'm going back home tomorrow to get away from her, I'm going crazy here and I can't stand it. She's really hurt me...

So am I justified and should we break up? I don't want to but breaking up must be better than this...and all she does is argue with me, and I do nothing to provoke her, she's just always having a dig, even after what she's done.

Help please :frown:

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Reply 1
I suppose it depends on whether or not you can put this behind you and move on- if not, then maybe you should go your separate ways. Do you think you could trust her again, would she be loyal to you? These are questions you need to ask yourself before you make your decision. If she's making you unhappy then I guess you should reconsider the situation. If you do decide to leave her, it will take you time before you start feeling better but you will get over her, then you can concentrate on meeting someone who will treat you better.
Reply 2
Woah I wouldn't trust her after all that.. i'd get her out of your life and find someone who really appreciates you :/
Reply 3
i'd break it off with her.
either you can have a break and see if she misses you.. and if she does then you might want to try again.. that is if you can trust her again.
or you can just move on and find someone else.. sorry to say that it doesn't sem like she is much into this relationship if she is kissing and then continuing to talk to other men.. i certainly wouldn't trust her.
really only you can make this decision though - if you think yo ucan trust her again then carry on... if not, then there is no point to this relationship at all.
She obviously has no respect for your feelings, you'd be a lot better off without the b***h.
Reply 5
your better off without her matey, it doesnt sound as though she respects your feelings.
Reply 6
she sounds horrible..I'd dump her if I were in your situation. If she really wants your relationship to work she'd break off all contact with this other guy. She has cheated on you, not once, but several times. Ditch the b*tch and find someone more deserving of your care and attention.
Anonymous
My girlfriend cheated on me (kissed another guy multiple times). I could just about deal with that. I went round last night to talk about it, she had him on her MSN. I said just delete him but NO, she had to talk to him...I mean maybe its just me but if you dont like someone and are sorry about having kissed them and betrayed your boyfriend who you supposedly love...you dont even give them the time of day ie delete them from MSN, or better yet not even add them.

Then today I just found out she has his fuc*ing number in her phone. I'm gutted. Am I strange for thinking that if you dont like a person, and actually care about your boyfriend you DO NOT get someones phone number. I mean kissing them is bad enough but getting their phone no and MSN?

She says she won't do it again but really I'm shattered and can't stand to be near her anymore. I'm going back home tomorrow to get away from her, I'm going crazy here and I can't stand it. She's really hurt me...

So am I justified and should we break up? I don't want to but breaking up must be better than this...and all she does is argue with me, and I do nothing to provoke her, she's just always having a dig, even after what she's done.

Help please :frown:


i think you should end it but dont blame it on her. It is her fault but it'll make it alot easier on you. its not worth carry on if it is hurting you to much. However, i am one of those people who will forgive and forget if i lvoe someone enough so if you cant bring yourself to ending it - take a break then decide.
Reply 8
Get rid son
Reply 9
nah dont break up with her, do the same to her but worse. Go out and have sex with someone and make sure she knows about it, or if you dont want to hurt her just get some self satisfaction. Will take your mind off her and you will get your own back. Then - tell her to **** off.
Anonymous
My girlfriend cheated on me (kissed another guy multiple times). I could just about deal with that. I went round last night to talk about it, she had him on her MSN. I said just delete him but NO, she had to talk to him...I mean maybe its just me but if you dont like someone and are sorry about having kissed them and betrayed your boyfriend who you supposedly love...you dont even give them the time of day ie delete them from MSN, or better yet not even add them.

Then today I just found out she has his fuc*ing number in her phone. I'm gutted. Am I strange for thinking that if you dont like a person, and actually care about your boyfriend you DO NOT get someones phone number. I mean kissing them is bad enough but getting their phone no and MSN?

She says she won't do it again but really I'm shattered and can't stand to be near her anymore. I'm going back home tomorrow to get away from her, I'm going crazy here and I can't stand it. She's really hurt me...

So am I justified and should we break up? I don't want to but breaking up must be better than this...and all she does is argue with me, and I do nothing to provoke her, she's just always having a dig, even after what she's done.

Help please :frown:


If she really regrets it and loves you she would have blocked or cut off all contact with this guy (delete him and blocked him on msn and delete his number from her phone). Has she done that? Maybe you should talk to her to find out exactly what she thinks and so she can explain herself further before making a decision. In my opinion its the best thing to do...it may sort this situation out.

Also did she have a lot to drink before kissing this guy? Alcohol can make people do stupid and regretable things. She probably got his msn and number when she was drunk too. Talk to her mate, its 1 of the best things you can do.....good luck
Reply 11
Take the initiative: leave her. If she truly needs you, she'll abide by your ultimatum and will eventually come calling.
Reply 12
A similar thing happened with my boyfriend. He got extremely drunk one night and kissed another girl, a lot. It was about 6 months into our relationship and it actually took that happening for me to realise just how much I cared about it. He didn't get her number though, it was just....I'm not sure how to explain it. There was never any chance of him contacting her again, and if he'd tried I definitely would have told him where to stick it.

It made things between us difficult, what hurt more than anything was that he'd broken my trust for nothing (it wasn't as though he was cheating on me because he wanted us to be over or because he wanted to be with her). If you want to move on from it it won't be easy. To be honest I think the least she could do if she wants you to forgive her is to get rid of his contact details.

My boyfriend worked so hard to regain my trust, he explained everything to me, gave me time to think, let me shout and scream at him or cry on his shoulder, and has done a lot to regain my trust. I still feel sick thinking about them together, but we've been together for 2 and a half years now. I'm not gonna give you crap about how it's made our relationship stronger, because it's given us a lot of stress. But I felt that it was worth saving. Forgiving was the easy part, it was the forgetting that was hardest for me. If he'd have slept with her I couldn't have coped but thankfully he didn't cross that line.

Time away from her will probably be good for you both, and allow you to think about whether she's really worth carrying on the relationship.
Reply 13
the question you need to ask yourself is how much do you mean to her? if she got drunk and kissed a guy then maybe 'i was drunk' is an excuse it depends on how you look on things. but she obviously likes this guy enough to go to the effort of getting his MSN and mobile number. if she respected your feelings then she would delete them both, (well i would in her situation).
its your decision and if you can move on, put it all behind you and trust that she will never do it again then yeah stay with her because she obviously means a lot to you but if you cant stand to be with her then maybe it is over and you have just got to start getting over her..
Reply 14
break up with the sado and she don't deserve you. she's just trying to see how far she can go and if you let her get away with stuff like that then she'll just keep on doing this stuff. just end it efore she really hurts you.
How do you know she doesn't like him? I mean if they're friends then I don't see why it's unreasonable for her to have him on her msn or phone. They kissed a few times, okay they shouldn't have done that, but just because she regrets it doesn't mean she can't like him.
Reply 16
She's said she doesn't like him/he's horrible etc but I think she probably likes him...and attention :frown:

Otherwise she wouldnt have even got his number or MSN I know I wouldnt.
That's strange. What did she say when you asked that if she doesn't like him, why does she keep his msn and phone number?
Reply 18
She said something like she was drunk but I don't see that as a good enough excuse, I don't think there is any good excuse IMO.

I can just about accept her kissing someone ONCE if she was drunk. But then to do it multiple times AND get his MSN and phone number...and to keep them, and talk to him afterwards...I mean I would have hoped she cared about me enough to NOT even give another guy the time of day, certainly not kiss him. But obviously she doesnt.

I mean no matter how drunk I am, no other girl ever comes into it.
She hasn't really answered your question though, has she? Presumably she's sober now so she has no reason to keep his numbers, unless she really does like him.

I don't see how she can avoid taking the blame for this situation.