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pregnant

I've jsut found out im pregnant. Sigh. It would be great since ive been with my boyfriend over a year and he works (earns enough for a house etc) but i dont know what to do. I have uni offers to study law in september/october this year. How accommodating are unis to babies? And how can i cope at uni with a baby. My boyfriend says he'd stick by me if i have an abortion, but im not sure what to do :frown:

Reply 1

tbm

13

There are always options for people who have babies/children whilst at uni, one of my friends had a baby in her final year and the uni gave her a place at their creche while she was studying and had lectures, they also sorted her out suitable accommodation and helped with financial matters etc. If you do decide to keep the baby, you could also study part time or via distance learning where available, your university will be able to help you out, or perhaps have a look on their websites to see what support they offer families.

I guess you need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend about what you both want and how having this baby, or not having it, will affect your lives. If you need some support then you could talk to a local pregnancy crisis centre (see your gp or ask your nurse, try your phonebook etc), they will give you advice on the options available and talk you through things. Have you visited your doctor at all? If not, you might want to make an appointment to get checked out, they will be able to offer you more support and information. Hope you work things out! x

Reply 2

~nat~

1

Anonymous

I've jsut found out im pregnant. Sigh. It would be great since ive been with my boyfriend over a year and he works (earns enough for a house etc) but i dont know what to do. I have uni offers to study law in september/october this year. How accommodating are unis to babies? And how can i cope at uni with a baby. My boyfriend says he'd stick by me if i have an abortion, but im not sure what to do :frown:

Okay, just put the uni issue on hold for a sec: think about whether you want this baby or not. The three real options are an abortion, adoption or to have the baby... do you think you an cope with the responsibility? Think about whether you will get support from your family, boyfriend, etc? Would you consider telling your family you're pregnant now, and asking their advice? Ultimately, it is your decision, and don't feel pressurised - it would be an understatement to say that it's a big one to make!

As for uni, although it of course varies from uni to uni, (which have you got offers from, if you don't mind me asking?). Many have specific acocmodation and support for students with young families. Don't forget you could always defer uni entry for a year, or even longer: the unis won't be going anywhere in a hurry, so don't feel obliged to accept a uni offer for this upcoming year!

Reply 3

G4ry

1

Anonymous

My boyfriend says he'd stick by me if i have an abortion, but im not sure what to do :frown:

Does that mean he wants it then? Would he stick by you if you had it?

Reply 4

Niaya

13

i agree with the other posters on this thread, it is possible to have ababy and go to uni or go to uni next year lots of people have a year out, I would get hold of all the info you can about the support unis offer and the options available to you (keeping tha baby, adoption ect) and sit down with your boyfriend and maybe your family and talk it over

Reply 5

Chi3f

1

so your having a baby at age 18ish and your BF already makes enough money for a house? thats a pretty impressive job he must have...

Reply 6

Ariel4

1

I think it would be really hard to go uni with a baby, but im sure your uni will provide support etc if you speak to them about it.
If youre parents or boyfriend were willing, they may be able to look after the baby, but then you would hardly ever get to see it.
As for the abortion thing, do what you feel comfortable with, dont make a decision that you are going to regret, think it through really carefully, and dont let anyone pressure you into a decision.

Reply 7

prXXX344d

1

hmmmm.... troll maybe?

Reply 8

username47781

20

Well before you go to Uni you gotta think if you really want this baby first but it will be pretty heartless of your boyfriend if he left you just because you kept the baby, he should really stand by you if he really loves you.

Reply 9

HearTheThunder

17

The slighest notion of not being sure if you'll manage would suggest that you shouldn't really be bringing up a child...

Reply 10

The Canadian

11

I know someone who had a baby in the summer hols after Y12 and came to Y13 with a baby in tow and was fine for her education. She actually got better than she was initially predicted cos she was saying that she felt more determined to go to a good uni and get a great job to support her kid.

Sometimes it can do the reverse and the baby takes up all your energy and you fail academically.

Remember though, it is NOT about education, it is about a LIFE!! I cannot emphisise this enough. My opinion is you should have the baby, but then again that is my belief.

Oh, and one other thing, ever heard of mature students. Have the baby, wait a year or two till they're all settled down and THEN go to uni. Starting uni at 20 / 21 will not be any worse than starting at 18 / 19. About 50% of people on my course are 20 / 21 in their first year. It's not uncommon.

Reply 11

xXMessedUpXx

15

Chi3f

so your having a baby at age 18ish and your BF already makes enough money for a house? thats a pretty impressive job he must have...

nobody said he was 18 too :wink:

he could be older and have a good job :p:

Reply 12

~nat~

1

HearTheThunder

The slighest notion of not being sure if you'll manage would suggest that you shouldn't really be bringing up a child...

Not necessarily - I'm sure others who have been in a similar position and have had 'the slightest notion' of doubt over being able to cope have gone on and raised a child perfectly well!

Reply 13

Chi3f

1

i never said he was 18, but i doubt he will much in the 30s and sounds like around 18ish, and anyone under 30 able to buy a house is pretty damn good.

Reply 14

rosetinted

2

HearTheThunder

The slighest notion of not being sure if you'll manage would suggest that you shouldn't really be bringing up a child...

Not at all. You really think that all potential parents are always sure the decision they are making is the right one? I think 99% of parents have doubts about being able to cope, both before the birth and even during bringing up their kid. Being uncertain means you will really weigh out the decision you are about to make rather than blindly charging in assuming you know everything. Nobody can be sure of how they'll manage until they are actually doing it. It is a really hard decision to make, give the poor girl a break.

Reply 15

The Canadian

11

Chi3f

i never said he was 18, but i doubt he will much in the 30s and sounds like around 18ish, and anyone under 30 able to buy a house is pretty damn good.

There is such a thing as very well paying jobs and rich parents!!

A mate of mine went to uni last year and his parent's got him a 3 bed semi, in Central London!!! No mortgage, bought outright.

I also know of someone in Canada (a friend's cousin's girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's brother or something :confused:

) who is on $74,000 Canadian per annum at the age of 23 (military computer whizz kid)

Reply 16

Chi3f

1

yes well those jobs arent easy to get, and there was nothing mention about parents just boyfriend

Reply 17

The Canadian

11

Chi3f

yes well those jobs arent easy to get, and there was nothing mention about parents just boyfriend

If you're good with computers, go to the military recruitment office and see what's availiable. Nothing too hard about that. You have to be really good though to get the high pay.

He could have savings etc... Anyways, why talk about the possible age or suspicions about age of the bf and concentrate on the life here!!

Reply 18

rosetinted

2

Chi3f

yes well those jobs arent easy to get, and there was nothing mention about parents just boyfriend

Does it matter? The OP clearly said her boyfriend is well enough off. Why do you doubt that?

Reply 19

Sarky

18

HearTheThunder

The slighest notion of not being sure if you'll manage would suggest that you shouldn't really be bringing up a child...

People of all ages question whether they'll be able to manage. Even people who have been trying for children for years and don't want anything else. Its realistic to question your potential.

To the OP, its a very hard position to be in and there aren't any easy options. Like other people have said don't let people pressure you into any decision you don't want, but also if you haven't seen your GP do so just so you know how far along you are and so you can discuss all your options. Good luck whatever you do. :smile:

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