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what can i do....i feel terrible :(
Me and one of my friends when out last Friday and we ended up in a club. I drank way to much and made a really big mistake...which i really regret. Basically this guy took advantage of me when I clearly told him I had a boyfriend. I feel terrible in what I've done to my boyfriend and really regret it 
.
Basically I kissed this other guy in the club quite a few times under the influence of alcohol. We exchanged contact details which was also a very huge mistake. I have now got rid of all the contact details with this guy and am never going talk to him or see him again. Me and my friend also left early to 'escape' from him and his mates (one of his mates was trying it on with my friend). We felt sick afterwards. I didn't even fancy this guy so have no idea why I acted this way .
My boyfriend feels terrible. I told him because I am an honest person and I didn't want to keep something behind his back which I feel really guilty about. How do I help myself and mainly him feel better. I really love him but he seems to think that i don't because I did this. I need to convince him to trust me I don't understand why I did it. He thinks I'll do it again even though I won't under any conditions. I am against any form of cheating in anyway and never thought I'd actually do it.
You all probably think that I am am evil, selfish b***h and my boyfriend should dump me. Any insults that I get I deserve.
What can I do?
.Basically I kissed this other guy in the club quite a few times under the influence of alcohol. We exchanged contact details which was also a very huge mistake. I have now got rid of all the contact details with this guy and am never going talk to him or see him again. Me and my friend also left early to 'escape' from him and his mates (one of his mates was trying it on with my friend). We felt sick afterwards. I didn't even fancy this guy so have no idea why I acted this way
.My boyfriend feels terrible. I told him because I am an honest person and I didn't want to keep something behind his back which I feel really guilty about. How do I help myself and mainly him feel better. I really love him but he seems to think that i don't because I did this. I need to convince him to trust me I don't understand why I did it. He thinks I'll do it again even though I won't under any conditions. I am against any form of cheating in anyway and never thought I'd actually do it.
You all probably think that I am am evil, selfish b***h and my boyfriend should dump me. Any insults that I get I deserve.
What can I do?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Yes, you do deserved to be dumped. However, you regret it, so you just have to keep apologising, and being nice to your bf, and hope he forgives you. Tell him you'll never get that drunk again. If you really mean it, and he is a nice boy, you should be able to work things out. xx
Reply 2
13
this just shows that drinking alcohol causes nothing but problems!
you brought this upon yourself i am afraid.. now you must face the consequences. bad luck.
you brought this upon yourself i am afraid.. now you must face the consequences. bad luck.
Reply 3
15
Flip the situation round - would you be satisfied if your bf said it was just because of drink? Of course not.
Sorry I know you are down, but if I were your bf you wouldn't have this chance. The fact he didn't dump you immediately though means there MAY still be a chance to salvage things (either that or he is in shock!). Be reassuring and apologetic. Do not guilt him in any way as he will bitterly resent it. Let him make the decision. Maybe it will work out, but don't get your hopes up.
Sorry I know you are down, but if I were your bf you wouldn't have this chance. The fact he didn't dump you immediately though means there MAY still be a chance to salvage things (either that or he is in shock!). Be reassuring and apologetic. Do not guilt him in any way as he will bitterly resent it. Let him make the decision. Maybe it will work out, but don't get your hopes up.
Reply 4
13
In order for him to trust you you have to trust yourself. Since you seemed to just cheat on him for no reason, completely randomly, when you're meant to be against it, how can you tell you won't do it again? You need to think what caused this and prevent it from ever happening again.
Reply 5
advice: don't drink so much! geez. it doesn't do any good for yourself nor other people whether friendship or relationship
Reply 6
Anonymous
Me and one of my friends when out last Friday and we ended up in a club. I drank way to much and made a really big mistake...which i really regret. Basically this guy took advantage of me when I clearly told him I had a boyfriend. I feel terrible in what I've done to my boyfriend and really regret it .
Basically I kissed this other guy in the club quite a few times under the influence of alcohol. We exchanged contact details which was also a very huge mistake. I have now got rid of all the contact details with this guy and am never going talk to him or see him again. Me and my friend also left early to 'escape' from him and his mates (one of his mates was trying it on with my friend). We felt sick afterwards. I didn't even fancy this guy so have no idea why I acted this way .
My boyfriend feels terrible. I told him because I am an honest person and I didn't want to keep something behind his back which I feel really guilty about. How do I help myself and mainly him feel better. I really love him but he seems to think that i don't because I did this. I need to convince him to trust me I don't understand why I did it. He thinks I'll do it again even though I won't under any conditions. I am against any form of cheating in anyway and never thought I'd actually do it.
You all probably think that I am am evil, selfish b***h and my boyfriend should dump me. Any insults that I get I deserve.
What can I do?
.Basically I kissed this other guy in the club quite a few times under the influence of alcohol. We exchanged contact details which was also a very huge mistake. I have now got rid of all the contact details with this guy and am never going talk to him or see him again. Me and my friend also left early to 'escape' from him and his mates (one of his mates was trying it on with my friend). We felt sick afterwards. I didn't even fancy this guy so have no idea why I acted this way
.My boyfriend feels terrible. I told him because I am an honest person and I didn't want to keep something behind his back which I feel really guilty about. How do I help myself and mainly him feel better. I really love him but he seems to think that i don't because I did this. I need to convince him to trust me I don't understand why I did it. He thinks I'll do it again even though I won't under any conditions. I am against any form of cheating in anyway and never thought I'd actually do it.
You all probably think that I am am evil, selfish b***h and my boyfriend should dump me. Any insults that I get I deserve.
What can I do?
Blaming alcohol is pretty slack. you managed to exchange contact details.. that doesnt sound like someone being coerced beyond their drunken will to me. I bet you were up for it as much as this bloke... plenty of people manage to get wasted and not fall into someone else whilst in a relationship...
Dont think you should of told him... personally If i was him I'd get rid.
all depends on how long you've been together really.
Reply 7
Ditto.
I really hope you didnt tell your boyf you were "taken advantage of" because if you didn't want to kiss the bloke you wouldn't have...and certainly not more than once.
You drank too much, made a mistake. The ball is in your bfs court. As other posters have said...I'd try to think why it happened in the first place as it's rarely ALL about the alcohol.
I really hope you didnt tell your boyf you were "taken advantage of" because if you didn't want to kiss the bloke you wouldn't have...and certainly not more than once.
You drank too much, made a mistake. The ball is in your bfs court. As other posters have said...I'd try to think why it happened in the first place as it's rarely ALL about the alcohol.
Reply 8
19
I dispute that you were 'taken advantage of' but apart from this I think the signs are good.
You have been given a second chance by your boyfriend that most people would probably not give. You need to grab this with both hands. It is great that you have got rid of this guy's contact details and if he ever contacts you, you need to make your position absolutely clear. Do not see or contact him again if you know what's good for you.
Secondly I think most people would advise you to never put yourself in this position again. Do not allow yourself to get that drunk again. I do drink, and I have got absolutely bladdered in the past. However, I have come to the conclusion that this isn't big or clever, and I am not keen to put myself into a position that I don't have control over. Maybe when you go out, alternate alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic drinks. Nobody except you is going to know if there is vodka in your coke or not.
The point of all bad experiences is that we learn from them - it sounds like you're prepared to learn from this one.
You have been given a second chance by your boyfriend that most people would probably not give. You need to grab this with both hands. It is great that you have got rid of this guy's contact details and if he ever contacts you, you need to make your position absolutely clear. Do not see or contact him again if you know what's good for you.
Secondly I think most people would advise you to never put yourself in this position again. Do not allow yourself to get that drunk again. I do drink, and I have got absolutely bladdered in the past. However, I have come to the conclusion that this isn't big or clever, and I am not keen to put myself into a position that I don't have control over. Maybe when you go out, alternate alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic drinks. Nobody except you is going to know if there is vodka in your coke or not.
The point of all bad experiences is that we learn from them - it sounds like you're prepared to learn from this one.
Reply 9
You were drunk, it was a mistake and you got rid of all contact details. The pair of you should just get over it.
Reply 10
whats the big deal? if he trusted u then it wouldnt matter that u had drunkenly kissed some random (although maybe exchanging contact details was a bit much).
Reply 11
1. No matter how much you drink, people always knows the basic right and wrong. You can't blame it on the drink that you kissed this guy, and if you thought it may be a problem then you shouldn't have drunk so much. Getting very drunk isn't big or clever, nor is it attractive.
2.You shouldn't have told him. You regretted in instantly, it was a mistake and you felt terrible about it. By telling your boyfriend you have hurt him and made him lose trust in you. Why did you tell him? To relieve you consience?
One last point, if you were so drunk you had no idea what you were doing, then why didn't your mate stop you if she knows you care about your boyfriend?
2.You shouldn't have told him. You regretted in instantly, it was a mistake and you felt terrible about it. By telling your boyfriend you have hurt him and made him lose trust in you. Why did you tell him? To relieve you consience?
One last point, if you were so drunk you had no idea what you were doing, then why didn't your mate stop you if she knows you care about your boyfriend?
Reply 12
BlackHawk
2.You shouldn't have told him. You regretted in instantly, it was a mistake and you felt terrible about it. By telling your boyfriend you have hurt him and made him lose trust in you. Why did you tell him? To relieve you consience?
2.You shouldn't have told him. You regretted in instantly, it was a mistake and you felt terrible about it. By telling your boyfriend you have hurt him and made him lose trust in you. Why did you tell him? To relieve you consience?
erm what if he found out from some1 else? that would hurt him alot more. and i have unfortunately done stuff like this quite a bit. im lucky to have an understanding bf. we have come to the understanding that kissing other ppl when drunk is fine as long as the other 1 can kiss them too. this has resulted in much hillarity. specially when hes kissed men. (and no he isnt gay btw. this scenario is explained by 2 works drunken *gay chicken*)
Reply 13
Here's some advice for you:
Don't drink.
:beerglass 
:ridinghor 
Don't drink.
:beerglass :ridinghor Reply 14
Frankly, if I had the type of relationship that you have then I would think there was something wrong. If you have to go out and kiss other people then there is something missing in your relationship. That's my opinion, and I realise that it differs from yours. I think that if you care and love someone then you don't need anyone else if they make you happy.
As for finding out from someone else, there is a possibility but it isn't huge. Some random person from a club isn't going to stop him in the middle of the street. It's all about trust and understanding the other person. If I found out that my fiance had kissed someone else but not told me as he knew how much it would hurt me and he also felt terrible for it then I would accept it if I found out. I'd rather not know about it if it was just a meaningless kiss. Anything else and then yes, I'd want to know.
As for finding out from someone else, there is a possibility but it isn't huge. Some random person from a club isn't going to stop him in the middle of the street. It's all about trust and understanding the other person. If I found out that my fiance had kissed someone else but not told me as he knew how much it would hurt me and he also felt terrible for it then I would accept it if I found out. I'd rather not know about it if it was just a meaningless kiss. Anything else and then yes, I'd want to know.
Reply 15
Oh that old chestnut? I drank too much and he took advantage of me. Just because your drunk it doesnt make it ok to cheat on your boyfriend. People always use this excuse and it really gets to me. You obviously don't love him as much as you say or otherwise you would be able to control yourself when you are drunk. And as for saying you wouldnt cheat on him again? Once a cheater, always a cheater. How can you say you won't cheat on him again? You don't know that. I hope he kicks you into touch!
Reply 16
deaks
Oh that old chestnut? I drank too much and he took advantage of me. Just because your drunk it doesnt make it ok to cheat on your boyfriend. People always use this excuse and it really gets to me. You obviously don't love him as much as you say or otherwise you would be able to control yourself when you are drunk. And as for saying you wouldnt cheat on him again? Once a cheater, always a cheater. How can you say you won't cheat on him again? You don't know that. I hope he kicks you into touch!
Reply 17
I think it's good that you admitted it. However it seems odd that you managed to get his number and give him yours if you were really that drunk! When truly drunk from experience when I was single, I often ended up with too many digits or numbers that didn't start in 0, coz I was too drunk to put it in properly (oops). And on some occasions found a number I have no recollection of entering.
So unless he took your phone I wouldn't say he 'took advantage' of you, but if you truly want to be with your boyfriend then try to make it up to him in some way maybe. If you have doubts about wanting only him then maybe its an indication that its only fair to split up.
I don't think I'd dump my bf if he just kissed a random when drunk and walked off without their number but I would consider it if he went to the effort of details.
So unless he took your phone I wouldn't say he 'took advantage' of you, but if you truly want to be with your boyfriend then try to make it up to him in some way maybe. If you have doubts about wanting only him then maybe its an indication that its only fair to split up.
I don't think I'd dump my bf if he just kissed a random when drunk and walked off without their number but I would consider it if he went to the effort of details.
Reply 18
Anonymous
Basically this guy took advantage of me when I clearly told him I had a boyfriend.
Don't blame the guy - you clearly coalesced in what ever it is you got up to. Just saying you have a boyfriend isn't a refusal.
Reply 19
Im not insulting you but he didnt "take advantage of you when you clearly said you had a bf"..if you remembered you had a boyfriend you probably could remember what it entails. Anyhow, these things can happen, learn from it and move on.
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