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    My mums a nurse and since im unemployed she keeps making me feel really guilty as if I don't feel bad as it is. For example she was telling my dad in front of me about a young medical student a few years older than me who she was working with today and is about to graduate. I knew it was comming but she finally said something like 'wouldn't it make you proud if your child was in that position and about to bring in £40 000 a year'.

    My dad just said 'yeah, what am I supposed to tell people at work when they ask about him, ive nothing to say other than he does nothing' and laughed.

    Shes forever hinting things like this though, im trying to get a dead end job so its not like im not trying . Thing is she is getting annoying now and I hate watching anything on TV that involves a successful lad in fear of what shes thinking. Im 20 btw.



    Am I being stupid or what? Are all parents like this?
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    My parents do this all the time. Mainly they play the 'Chris has no friends' card and lately its the 'You have acess car so it is selfish that you don't want to learn to drive'.
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    Speaking as a parent.

    In general yes parents will act like this as you must remember they have looked after you for 20 years now and are looking forward to spending some time alone with each others company and perhaps getting away a bit too. I am sure your parents mean well by it, with their gentle pushing etc, but it’s always hard as a parent to let go and give children their space and allow for them to take things at their own speed.
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    (Original post by Drug Lord)
    Speaking as a parent.

    In general yes parents will act like this as you must remember they have looked after you for 20 years now and are looking forward to spending some time alone with each others company and perhaps getting away a bit too. I am sure your parents mean well by it, with their gentle pushing etc, but it’s always hard as a parent to let go and give children their space and allow for them to take things at their own speed.
    true. but he's 20...and 20 isn't an urgent age to get a job at y'know? if you were 30 then you'd have reason to pester about a job
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    I am presuming to take it that your not in fulltime/part time education

    I would encourage to do what is best for you, and not judge yourself by your parent's standards. If you do you will go insane before you reach your 40th birthday. I sitll think you should get a job and congratulations on trying, but your parents should be happy that you are doing your best, and not compare you to others, at least not in front of you, thats just cruel.
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    Yes my parents are very similar. Though they want me to study more and they think I spend way too much time having 'fun' (ie. on the computer or seeing friends). Also, I've been working pretty much since last June but now I'm quitting in order to have time to study for entrance exams and they say I should still work a bit to get more money. Right after that they say I should've started studying ages ago and that I should now constantly study. They don't seem to understand that with a full-time job I don't exactly have much time left to study. It annoys me the most when they start saying 'youngsters these days have everything so easy' or 'it was different when we were young'.
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    A young medical student who earns 40k?

    How old are you anyway? It takes ages for a medical student to start earning a decent salary.
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    My parents used to do it to me. I once overheard them talking in the kitchen about this girl I worked with who is two years younger than me. My mom was saying she's got more about her than I have and that she'd be far more sucessful in life.

    I would hasten to point out that she is still working in the same pokey shop and has a daughter while I'm at university and doing very well for myself.

    I think they think it's encouragement... silly people!
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    To be fair..at the age of 20 you could earn enough to move out if your parents are really driving you crazy. The worst fights with my mom and dad were when I was 18 and had completed 6th form and didn't know whether I was going to university. I think they were just scared I was going to throw my life away, but I got a couple of part time jobs and was at least out of the house working and they got off my case. They didn't like me sitting around doing nothing while they were working.
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    No offense or anything but it looks like you are falling into the trap of being a loser. Living with your parents and being unemployed at 20 IS lame, if they don't push you nobody will.
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    Well, lets think about it. Do you contribute to the rent/food etc?
    Why aren't you employed? Did they pay for you to go to school? Buy your uniforms? Drive you to school? Feed you? Sorry to be blunt but if I had just brought up a kid, put through school etc, I've be fairly POed that he was unemployed and sitting watching telly all day long. I'd love to watch telly all day long - I miss Trisha as it is. They're trying to guilt you into getting a job - and they only way you'll shut them up is if you get a job.
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    After I dropped out of Uni the first time, my dad was aaalways on at me to get a job. Even though I never asked him for money. I basically watched day time TV for a year, heh... but then again I always knew I was going back to Uni, and though I could have saved up money and been a bit more well off now, I really had no desire to get a pleb job dealing with scum for minimum wage. He sort of gave up after about 6 months of nagging. It's funny though, even though I'm now at Uni, I only watch SLIGHTLY less Judge Judy / Sally Jessy / Deal Or No Deal.
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    (Original post by segat1)
    Well, lets think about it. Do you contribute to the rent/food etc?
    Why aren't you employed? Did they pay for you to go to school? Buy your uniforms? Drive you to school? Feed you? Sorry to be blunt but if I had just brought up a kid, put through school etc, I've be fairly POed that he was unemployed and sitting watching telly all day long. I'd love to watch telly all day long - I miss Trisha as it is. They're trying to guilt you into getting a job - and they only way you'll shut them up is if you get a job.
    No! People are always like that, "your parents payed to bring you up, you owe them". Lies, I say, LIES! When they are old and retired and crippled, odds are you'll have to pay for all sorts of nonsense for them. Even if that's not the case - their parents (probably) paid to bring THEM up, and you'll do the same for your kids. The scales doth balance.
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    (Original post by Toy Soldier)
    No! People are always like that, "your parents payed to bring you up, you owe them". Lies, I say, LIES! When they are old and retired and crippled, odds are you'll have to pay for all sorts of nonsense for them. Even if that's not the case - their parents (probably) paid to bring THEM up, and you'll do the same for your kids. The scales doth balance.
    nuh uh - my parents paid for my education, the least I can do is use that education to get a job, however lowly it is. My mother has no intention of making me pay for her care - she's made investments with the money she made from her job and is well positioned to be looked after very well. I just think its incredibly rude and also embarassing to the parents that the OP has no respect for them and has no work ethic. Harold Bishop thinks so too *jowl wobble*
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    I pay rent and my parents still tell me what to do. Biznitches.
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    My parents used to be like that so I left home when I was 17. I moved back in briefly (for 6 months) til uni started last September and had real problems getting a job - they live in a small town in Ireland where you need a degree to get a job in Tesco (everyone else has a degree so you're up against it lol) so although I did a bit of temping here and there I wasn't working continuously. Luckily I'd had a good job in England so had savings etc and paid rent the whole time regardless of whether I was working or not. I took care of myself and still they found stuff to whinge about. "Why did she give up a job to go to uni" , "another one of her high flying ideas that will get her nowhere" , "she's untidy" , "she's too tidy" , "she never goes anywhere" (hello people I moved away 6 years ago - who am I gonna know here these days!) bla bla you get the idea. They'd tell all their friends how lazy I was etc. and to be honest the best way out of it is to MOVE OUT. Your relationship with the 'rents improves no end when you leave home

    Even when I had a job mine still whinged and yours might well be the same...
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    A young medical student who earns 40k?

    How old are you anyway? It takes ages for a medical student to start earning a decent salary.
    Read you're 20... well the day your parents find a 20-year old on 40k, they can call me.

    I was at home for 3 months after uni before starting my job and even then, after about a week, the comments started like "what have you done today?" so while looking for a serious job, I started taking on ****** jobs for a week or two (when you have a degree, you can't fool people that you're not going to be staying there long) and soon gave up. Quite often, parents don't know what they're talking about so you just have to make a plan, decide what kind of job you want, search actively and stick to that plan.

    If you let your parents' comments get to you and listen to crap advice, you won't get anywhere. Decide what you want to do. But make that decision and don't sway from one piece of advice to another.
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    God, all these people telling me they had to pay rent to their parents. British parents are ****ing mean!
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    (Original post by SamTheMan)
    God, all these people telling me they had to pay rent to their parents. British parents are ****ing mean!

    Nothing wrong in asking your kids to contribute to rent, which I gather also covers food etc. Also none have mentioned just how much rent they are paying, but I think it’s a good idea to get you used to how much cash you will need when you move out.
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    My mum is generally ok with me not having a job though she is worried I won't have saved up enough for uni but her boyfriend is a complete ***** who keeps telling me to get a job like its any of his business. i am looking for a job. If you are looking for a job it should be ok with them though. An if your dad talks that way again in front of you tell him where he can shove it. It might seem harsh and dum but he has no right to say things that, I am assuming, make you unhappy.
 
 
 
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