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lukeyboy
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#1
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#1
I've started writing my own novel, its supposed to a coarse, humorous account of teenage culture. It is simultaneously (or it will be once its finished) an allegory on the restrictive nature of institutionalised religion ( the club they always go to will come to symbolise the church as the novel progresses, the capitalisation of We Are, is also a significant satirical reference to Christ ) Ive uploaded a sample of the first chapter and a half and was wondering what everyone thought of it. Any comments good or bad are welcome ! Thanks for taking the time to read it.
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Saf!
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#2
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#2
only read it up to pg 8...but it's good!.... keep on going!
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lukeyboy
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#3
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#3
thanks, i'm in a bit of a writers block period at the moment (im up to chapter 7) so i thought id get some feedback. the question is though, if it was a real book would you, considering the bit that you've read, read it till the end. Or do you think its a bit weak ?
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Moloko
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#4
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#4
I read the whole thing. It's very good, it's got some very interesting and unique ideas that I haven't really read about before. I think if it were a real book I would definitely want to read to the end. Keep on writing! (And post more of the book, if you want to)
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-Kav-
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#5
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#5
It's certainly heading in the right way. As strange as it sounds, the level of prose is almost too high for the subject material. Its most impressive nonetheless. :yy:
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screenager
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#6
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#6
It's good, I didn't get to read very much of it as I really need to do coursework but what I read was enjoyable, I will read it all some other time and maybe try and give more helpful comments but I wouldn't count on it as most of what I say is rubbish.
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Mad Vlad
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Alias667)
I've started writing my own novel, its supposed to a coarse, humorous account of teenage culture. It is simultaneously (or it will be once its finished) an allegory on the restrictive nature of institutionalised religion ( the club they always go to will come to symbolise the church as the novel progresses, the capitalisation of We Are, is also a significant satirical reference to Christ ) Ive uploaded a sample of the first chapter and a half and was wondering what everyone thought of it. Any comments good or bad are welcome ! Thanks for taking the time to read it.
Be careful, you'll have people wanting you dead and shouting slogans and holding protests against the infidels who... oh wait, thats Islam....
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lukeyboy
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Pineappolis)
It's certainly heading in the right way. As strange as it sounds, the level of prose is almost too high for the subject material. Its most impressive nonetheless. :yy:
thanks alot for that, its interesting cause one of my other friends said that. but i think thats part of the irony, cause i want the main character & narrator to seem really intelligent, and then contrast in his dialogue.
thanks for the feedback guys, really helpful.
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-Kav-
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#9
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#9
Ah, good thinking. That could work really well as it progresses.
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Fluent in Lies
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#10
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#10
I think the prose is awful, what is this crap?

'that could be approximately equivocated'
I didn't, couldn't, read enough to comment on the plot.
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-Kav-
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#11
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#11
Ah, I missed that one. As pointed out in no uncertain terms, that doesn't really make sense. Still, such errors are easily ironed out.
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Ferrus
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#12
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#12
My advice to all wannabe writers. Get a real job.
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-Kav-
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#13
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#13
My advice to all members of the human race. Disregard any and all advice coming from someone with BENT written on their forehead. [I couldn't resist].
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Ferrus
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Pineappolis)
My advice to all members of the human race. Disregard any and all advice coming from someone with BENT written on their forehead. [I couldn't resist].
Addendum to adivice: ignore those who can't read, e.g. mistaking "repent" for "bent".
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-Kav-
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#15
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#15
I know, I know. You get your proverbial knickers in a twist over it every time it's mentioned, though.
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Ferrus
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Pineappolis)
I know, I know. You get your proverbial knickers in a twist over it every time it's mentioned, though.
I hate inexactitude, especially when it is at my expense.
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-Kav-
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#17
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#17
Sadly I've got nothing better to do than make pitiful attempts at riling you up.
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Ferrus
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Pineappolis)
Sadly I've got nothing better to do than make pitiful attempts at riling you up.
**** over porn. Preferably lesbians. I mean it's how I spend long lonely evenings.
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-Kav-
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#19
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#19
A capital suggestion. I shall leave you to your bursts of randomised sarcasm.
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Ferrus
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Pineappolis)
A capital suggestion. I shall leave you to your bursts of randomised sarcasm.
Good good, *searchs for a newbie*.
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