The Student Room Group

Miserable

Don't know if this is the right place for this, but if it's not, I'm sure someone will move it.

I've been at uni since october now, and I just feel really miserable here, mostly because I don't feel I've made friends, probably because I'm quite shy and find it hard to talk to new people. Oh sure, there are people on my course who I'll talk to, but only about my course, and I don't see them outside of lectures. I'm in self-catered accomodation (a flat with 11 other people), but don't feel like I get on that well with my flatmates; we have nothing in common.

I'm seriously considering dropping out at the moment, I'm that fed up. Any advice?
Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. I'm in a similiar situation. I'm not miserable per-se at Uni, but I'm having a bit of trouble coping with the intense workload of a Dual Honours Degree. I think it's perfectly natural. Remember, things don't necessarily settle down after 4 months, perhaps not even 6 months. Everything does take time - remember this decision albeit you may not want to face this, will change the course of your life.

My personal advice would be not to drop out. And that's coming from a person that understands what you're going through. Remember you are sharing a flat. Sure, okay, you have your differences and don't get on with any of them particularly well but it's not the end of the world. There's only 11 people in your flat. In halls, or societies or clubs there's loads of people you can meet. So make sure you remember if you don't find a friend in your flatmates, there's a friend for you somewhere else.

Stick it out, get yourself invovled in some of your societies or clubs and you'll be fine. Chin up. If you need any more advice or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to PM me.

xx
Reply 2
Anonymous
Don't know if this is the right place for this, but if it's not, I'm sure someone will move it.

I've been at uni since october now, and I just feel really miserable here, mostly because I don't feel I've made friends, probably because I'm quite shy and find it hard to talk to new people. Oh sure, there are people on my course who I'll talk to, but only about my course, and I don't see them outside of lectures. I'm in self-catered accomodation (a flat with 11 other people), but don't feel like I get on that well with my flatmates; we have nothing in common.

I'm seriously considering dropping out at the moment, I'm that fed up. Any advice?


I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like that. First of all, you're not alone: http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=63131 Loads of people often feel like dropping out at uni, be it social problems, problems with the course or whatever.

Sometimes it's difficult in the first year because you're lumped together in the same halls with people you haven't chosen to live with. Are there people on your course that you could move out with next year? Perhaps your uni accomodation office has a system for housing second year students who doesn't know anybody well enough to move out with (I know mine does)? Anyway, as long as you're still enjoying your course, it would seem a shame to drop out because of your living situation. Do you have a personal tutor you could speak to about it? Or perhaps you could contact annonymously a nightline service that your uni runs? You could also email your accomodation office to see what your options are - just tell them you're unhappy in your current situation, then they can set out what options you have available to you.
I am about to drop out, before the exams. I'm just not interested in my course, or uni really, even though I'm academically capable. Spoke to my tutor, he says do what makes you happy, employers would rather have an enthusiastic worker than a miserable graduate! So I'm going to work in Australia for 6 months and hopefully America the next 6 months.
Reply 4
it's pretty natural to feel like that when you first start uni. for a large part of my first year i felt quite miserable and i went home as much as possible. i did make some good friends but i still felt like i didn't fit in. but now things are so different. i live with the same people as i did in my first year (i'm now in my final year) and they are my absolute best friends and now it's the thought of leaving them which makes me miserable! the friend situation is a difficult one because housemates are the easiest way to make friends. I recommend you join some societies so you can meet people with the same interests and maybe suggest meeting up with your coursemates to do your work together and build up a more social relationship with them? If in a couple of months you still feel miserable i think maybe it would be best if you looked into a transfer because you might be much happier at another uni. take care and let us know how you get on, shilpa x