Is It Okay For Me To Have Two Boyfriends ? :/
Scroll to see replies
It's ok for you to have two boyfriends ONLY IF they know and agree with such a thing. Which of course does mean telling your current boyfriend and the potential play boyfriend of this deal. Most guys would not agree with this, the thought and question alone might be a whole relationship breaker. It's your risk.
I personally thing it's only ok to have one partner at a time, but in other cultures having multiple partners seems to work, but only because they know of this deal and agree to it
I personally thing it's only ok to have one partner at a time, but in other cultures having multiple partners seems to work, but only because they know of this deal and agree to it
I don't know how more offended I could be by you. To go to the lighter end of the scale, you're naive.
However, you ask an opinion and I'd say this:
You seem to do the things with your medic friend because you can't do it with your bf who is far away. Don't blur the distinction or people will get hurt.
However, you ask an opinion and I'd say this:
You seem to do the things with your medic friend because you can't do it with your bf who is far away. Don't blur the distinction or people will get hurt.
This should just be common sense.
Would you like it if a boy you were dating also had another GF?
Would you like it if a boy you were dating also had another GF?
Why not? Your long distance boyfriend probably has a 'play girlfriend' as you call it, on the side too 
No it's not ok unless they both agree to it. That's horrible. It sounds like your long distance boyfriend is putting in all the effort to keep this working and you are just with him for the gifts/trips/attention or whatever. He'd be better off without you, so he could share his love and generosity with someone more deserving.
No it's not ok unless they both agree to it. That's horrible. It sounds like your long distance boyfriend is putting in all the effort to keep this working and you are just with him for the gifts/trips/attention or whatever. He'd be better off without you, so he could share his love and generosity with someone more deserving.
Original post by Anonymous
Hello TSR Friends
ME: 20 year old girl who lives in UK studying at university.
My boyfriend:,long distance, I really like him and his made a SUPER effort to make this long distance relationship work, we skype daily, he has booked us vacations this year around the world, we talk on the phone 4 times a week and it's all going well he sends me gifts in the post every other week. His end goal is to return to UK to stay in his companies UK office in 2015. He really loves me and is making an effort with all this long distance stuff. I appreciate it, especially the fact he wants me to travel the world with him and do things I'd never get the chance to do. His amazing, caring, down to earth, humble and treats me like a princess.
I love him loadssss but I get so lonely without him here all the time anymore
The other guy : This guy is in my university, his 20, he is a medic student, he is sweet and stuff. He is a newbie and really sweet he likes me, and I've been dating him for the past few weeks and he has asked me to be his girlfriend, this is the typical 'college' love, it's just sweet and playful not seriously passionate and 'proper' love like my boyfriend. We hang out in student bars and do studenty stuff. Well this dude wont be like my 'boyfriend' boyfriend, just like a 'play' boyfriend for when im at uni
Is it okay if I have my long distance boyfriend and my in college boyfriend ?
They would never cross paths (well obviously) and my long distance boyfriend is more the settling down mature type (cultured, well traveled, caring, devoted etc), the medic dude is just someone to hang around , study and do typical every day 'normal' stuff with.
I love times with my boyfriend, flying around and doing all these things which he is kind enough to share with me but I just get bored at uni during those gap phases. Of course this medic dude will just be a 'play' boyfriend and I won't get like attached to him. Just for the time being you know.
They're just so different, with my long distance I wear like dresses, high heels etc, with college dude I wear jeans and converse so just two very different settings.
Is this morally okay ??
They'd never find out
Also I will not sleep with medic guy
ME: 20 year old girl who lives in UK studying at university.
My boyfriend:,long distance, I really like him and his made a SUPER effort to make this long distance relationship work, we skype daily, he has booked us vacations this year around the world, we talk on the phone 4 times a week and it's all going well he sends me gifts in the post every other week. His end goal is to return to UK to stay in his companies UK office in 2015. He really loves me and is making an effort with all this long distance stuff. I appreciate it, especially the fact he wants me to travel the world with him and do things I'd never get the chance to do. His amazing, caring, down to earth, humble and treats me like a princess.
I love him loadssss but I get so lonely without him here all the time anymore
The other guy : This guy is in my university, his 20, he is a medic student, he is sweet and stuff. He is a newbie and really sweet he likes me, and I've been dating him for the past few weeks and he has asked me to be his girlfriend, this is the typical 'college' love, it's just sweet and playful not seriously passionate and 'proper' love like my boyfriend. We hang out in student bars and do studenty stuff. Well this dude wont be like my 'boyfriend' boyfriend, just like a 'play' boyfriend for when im at uni
Is it okay if I have my long distance boyfriend and my in college boyfriend ?
They would never cross paths (well obviously) and my long distance boyfriend is more the settling down mature type (cultured, well traveled, caring, devoted etc), the medic dude is just someone to hang around , study and do typical every day 'normal' stuff with.
I love times with my boyfriend, flying around and doing all these things which he is kind enough to share with me but I just get bored at uni during those gap phases. Of course this medic dude will just be a 'play' boyfriend and I won't get like attached to him. Just for the time being you know.
They're just so different, with my long distance I wear like dresses, high heels etc, with college dude I wear jeans and converse so just two very different settings.
Is this morally okay ??
They'd never find out
Also I will not sleep with medic guy
You are a horrible person. Or just terribly stupid.
You are the reason why good guys turn to jerks, and good girls suffers because of them.
Shame on you.
Original post by Anonymous
Hello TSR Friends
ME: 20 year old girl who lives in UK studying at university.
My boyfriend:,long distance, I really like him and his made a SUPER effort to make this long distance relationship work, we skype daily, he has booked us vacations this year around the world, we talk on the phone 4 times a week and it's all going well he sends me gifts in the post every other week. His end goal is to return to UK to stay in his companies UK office in 2015. He really loves me and is making an effort with all this long distance stuff. I appreciate it, especially the fact he wants me to travel the world with him and do things I'd never get the chance to do. His amazing, caring, down to earth, humble and treats me like a princess.
I love him loadssss but I get so lonely without him here all the time anymore
The other guy : This guy is in my university, his 20, he is a medic student, he is sweet and stuff. He is a newbie and really sweet he likes me, and I've been dating him for the past few weeks and he has asked me to be his girlfriend, this is the typical 'college' love, it's just sweet and playful not seriously passionate and 'proper' love like my boyfriend. We hang out in student bars and do studenty stuff. Well this dude wont be like my 'boyfriend' boyfriend, just like a 'play' boyfriend for when im at uni
Is it okay if I have my long distance boyfriend and my in college boyfriend ?
They would never cross paths (well obviously) and my long distance boyfriend is more the settling down mature type (cultured, well traveled, caring, devoted etc), the medic dude is just someone to hang around , study and do typical every day 'normal' stuff with.
I love times with my boyfriend, flying around and doing all these things which he is kind enough to share with me but I just get bored at uni during those gap phases. Of course this medic dude will just be a 'play' boyfriend and I won't get like attached to him. Just for the time being you know.
They're just so different, with my long distance I wear like dresses, high heels etc, with college dude I wear jeans and converse so just two very different settings.
Is this morally okay ??
They'd never find out
Also I will not sleep with medic guy
ME: 20 year old girl who lives in UK studying at university.
My boyfriend:,long distance, I really like him and his made a SUPER effort to make this long distance relationship work, we skype daily, he has booked us vacations this year around the world, we talk on the phone 4 times a week and it's all going well he sends me gifts in the post every other week. His end goal is to return to UK to stay in his companies UK office in 2015. He really loves me and is making an effort with all this long distance stuff. I appreciate it, especially the fact he wants me to travel the world with him and do things I'd never get the chance to do. His amazing, caring, down to earth, humble and treats me like a princess.
I love him loadssss but I get so lonely without him here all the time anymore
The other guy : This guy is in my university, his 20, he is a medic student, he is sweet and stuff. He is a newbie and really sweet he likes me, and I've been dating him for the past few weeks and he has asked me to be his girlfriend, this is the typical 'college' love, it's just sweet and playful not seriously passionate and 'proper' love like my boyfriend. We hang out in student bars and do studenty stuff. Well this dude wont be like my 'boyfriend' boyfriend, just like a 'play' boyfriend for when im at uni
Is it okay if I have my long distance boyfriend and my in college boyfriend ?
They would never cross paths (well obviously) and my long distance boyfriend is more the settling down mature type (cultured, well traveled, caring, devoted etc), the medic dude is just someone to hang around , study and do typical every day 'normal' stuff with.
I love times with my boyfriend, flying around and doing all these things which he is kind enough to share with me but I just get bored at uni during those gap phases. Of course this medic dude will just be a 'play' boyfriend and I won't get like attached to him. Just for the time being you know.
They're just so different, with my long distance I wear like dresses, high heels etc, with college dude I wear jeans and converse so just two very different settings.
Is this morally okay ??
They'd never find out
Also I will not sleep with medic guy
You are a horrible person. Or just terribly stupid.
You are the reason why good guys turn to jerks, and good girls suffer because of them.
Shame on you.
It's funny how you would have 2 boyfriends, and then when they found out, you'd have zero boyfriends...
I'd say no, surely it's cheating if they weren't aware.
I'd say no, surely it's cheating if they weren't aware.
Original post by Ciccina
You are a horrible person. Or just terribly stupid.
You are the reason why good guys turn to jerks, and good girls suffers because of them.
Shame on you.
You are the reason why good guys turn to jerks, and good girls suffers because of them.
Shame on you.
Original post by GodspeedGehenna
ITT: Nice guy finishing last. This is why eventually 'nice' guys get tired of being used and start treating women like ****.
Amen. Well said
like people have said, it's okay if you and the two guys agree to have an open relationship, there's no lies, no trust is being abused.
But Is it okay to betray your loving, caring, sweet, one of a kind boyfriend's trust by cheating with another guy because your one of those girls who just cant resist male attention?
Oh but dont worry, it's okay if you're not going to sleep with this medic guy you're just going to lead him on for a bit because you feel lonely even though your current boyfriend already goes out of his way to show his thinking of you.
Surely you thought of the potental for loneliness in a long distance relationship before you carried on with it?
Also: you think it's okay to date someone else behind your boyfriend back, you dont love him, if you did, you wouldn't be treating him like crap.
But Is it okay to betray your loving, caring, sweet, one of a kind boyfriend's trust by cheating with another guy because your one of those girls who just cant resist male attention?
Oh but dont worry, it's okay if you're not going to sleep with this medic guy you're just going to lead him on for a bit because you feel lonely even though your current boyfriend already goes out of his way to show his thinking of you.
Surely you thought of the potental for loneliness in a long distance relationship before you carried on with it?
Also: you think it's okay to date someone else behind your boyfriend back, you dont love him, if you did, you wouldn't be treating him like crap.
Original post by GodspeedGehenna
ITT: Nice guy finishing last. This is why eventually 'nice' guys get tired of being used and start treating women like ****.
Couldn't agree more. Some women just take blatant advantage of nice guys and then blame them for turning into a 'psycho'.
I don't want to say she deserves it, but who are we kidding, girls like that are ignorant, stuck-up, using little bitches and can't handle being **** on but can dish out plenty.
Argh, annoys the hell out of me.
Original post by Ciccina
You are a horrible person. Or just terribly stupid.
Shame on you.
Shame on you.
Not really.
I've been in a similar position. Long term partner thousands of miles away, trying to keep alive a relationship over the phone/email but not knowing if/when we would actually be together. Being part of a couple but without any of the benefits. Living as a single person but without the fun that comes with it. Having an attractive and funny man making me laugh and feel special, filling the hole left by my absent partner.
And I asked myself the very same question. Would it really be so terrible to keep my long term relationship on the go in the hope that we would one day be together but at the same time allow a willing man to comfort me?
Did I do anything I regretted? No. Did someone get hurt? Yes, the other man but he was always going to get hurt. Men that chase girls knowing they are unavailable yet still allow themselves to fall in love are setting themselves up for heartache. He knew from the beginning that I was in a long term relationship yet her persued me, I don't think he even wanted me to leave my long term partner he certainly wasn't after commitment. Maybe he just wanted the challenge of getting something he couldn't have.
I think you mean you just want friends at university. All those things you said you wana do at uni like hang out, someone to spend time with can be done by friends so no need to be so insistent on a play boyfriend. How could that be in any way morally sound?
Original post by jami74
Not really.
I've been in a similar position. Long term partner thousands of miles away, trying to keep alive a relationship over the phone/email but not knowing if/when we would actually be together. Being part of a couple but without any of the benefits. Living as a single person but without the fun that comes with it. Having an attractive and funny man making me laugh and feel special, filling the hole left by my absent partner.
And I asked myself the very same question. Would it really be so terrible to keep my long term relationship on the go in the hope that we would one day be together but at the same time allow a willing man to comfort me?
Did I do anything I regretted? No. Did someone get hurt? Yes, the other man but he was always going to get hurt. Men that chase girls knowing they are unavailable yet still allow themselves to fall in love are setting themselves up for heartache. He knew from the beginning that I was in a long term relationship yet her persued me, I don't think he even wanted me to leave my long term partner he certainly wasn't after commitment. Maybe he just wanted the challenge of getting something he couldn't have.
I've been in a similar position. Long term partner thousands of miles away, trying to keep alive a relationship over the phone/email but not knowing if/when we would actually be together. Being part of a couple but without any of the benefits. Living as a single person but without the fun that comes with it. Having an attractive and funny man making me laugh and feel special, filling the hole left by my absent partner.
And I asked myself the very same question. Would it really be so terrible to keep my long term relationship on the go in the hope that we would one day be together but at the same time allow a willing man to comfort me?
Did I do anything I regretted? No. Did someone get hurt? Yes, the other man but he was always going to get hurt. Men that chase girls knowing they are unavailable yet still allow themselves to fall in love are setting themselves up for heartache. He knew from the beginning that I was in a long term relationship yet her persued me, I don't think he even wanted me to leave my long term partner he certainly wasn't after commitment. Maybe he just wanted the challenge of getting something he couldn't have.
OP asked what is >right< to do, not what we did.
If you feel you did something honourable, good for you, but I don't think yours was a mature behaviour.
First of all, if you are in a committed relationship, you have the duty to respect and be honest with your partner.
The fact that yours is a LDR doesn't magically justify your cheating. Come on! And I know what I'm saying because I'm in one LDR myself.
Unless you agree with your OH that whilst you're separated, the two of you can hit on other people and have sex with them.
You cheated and lied to your boyfriend, no excuse.
NO. You don't even want a proper relationship with the medic guy. You are just using the medic for an ego boost and so you do not feel lonely. If you want two boyfriends, get an open relationship.
I feel sad for the medic student. He may be ur play boyfriend but he is treating you like u were his girlfriend. Even though you just see him when u are in uni and have 2 completely lifestyles with your distance and your uni boyfriend. You have to consider that he has feelings for you. It would have make more sense for you to tell him in the first place to the uni boyfriend that u are in a distance relationship. You may not sleep with him but you may hurt his feelings even if the two guys will never meet again.
YOu should have considered him just as a friend and tell him the truth before actually accepting the relationship propose...
I understand that you may miss him, but you said it clearly you love him loads and he with all the things he is doing for you.
YOu should have considered him just as a friend and tell him the truth before actually accepting the relationship propose...
I understand that you may miss him, but you said it clearly you love him loads and he with all the things he is doing for you.
Original post by Ciccina
OP asked what is >right< to do, not what we did.
If you feel you did something honourable, good for you, but I don't think yours was a mature behaviour.
First of all, if you are in a committed relationship, you have the duty to respect and be honest with your partner.
The fact that yours is a LDR doesn't magically justify your cheating. Come on! And I know what I'm saying because I'm in one LDR myself.
Unless you agree with your OH that whilst you're separated, the two of you can hit on other people and have sex with them.
You cheated and lied to your boyfriend, no excuse.
If you feel you did something honourable, good for you, but I don't think yours was a mature behaviour.
First of all, if you are in a committed relationship, you have the duty to respect and be honest with your partner.
The fact that yours is a LDR doesn't magically justify your cheating. Come on! And I know what I'm saying because I'm in one LDR myself.
Unless you agree with your OH that whilst you're separated, the two of you can hit on other people and have sex with them.
You cheated and lied to your boyfriend, no excuse.
I think we've established what is >right< to do, 59 posts have made it quite clear.
Honour doesn't come into it. I didn't cheat on my boyfriend but that is besides the point. The point of my story is that it is very easy to have an opinion on someone elses situation, especially if you've never been in the same place or had the same feelings.
People make mistakes, if they didn't how would they learn anything. OP knows it is wrong and is trying to justify it to herself. Mud slinging isn't going to undo it, she's got to figure it out for herself. Sometimes hearing other peoples experiences and outcomes help with tricky decisions.
And as for being 'mature' lol, I'm saving that for my retirement.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Can I bring a member of the opposite sex into same sex accomodation?
- Can i have a guy friend if i have a bf?
- Nervous about meeting my boyfriend after a break… he hurt me but we have plans
- Struggling with balancing a-levels and relationships
- Is he (17m) losing interest in me (17f)?
- A strange teacher
- Relationship Advice
- NEED ADVICE (Bikini, boyfriend, male friends)
- my boyfriend is leaving for two months…
- why does my boyfriend keep saying this?
- Will I get pregnant???!!!!
- Flatmate's boyfriend
- I hate my boyfriends body count
- Is this cheating?
- Should I be upset with my boyfriend?
- Living in halls with a select amount of people.
- Ask Me Anything.
- Sex and birth control
- boyfriend’s gay bestie getting a little too much
- Red flag
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
