no sex before marriage - how far to go?

hello

if you were against sex before marriage for religious / moral reasons, how far would you go?

in Brazil etc i have heard women have anal and oral before marriage.
in other , mainly islamic states there should be no kissing before marriage.

my limit is kissing, but then again all my relationships have failed cos of this.
]
without being too detailed, using the base system if needed, how far do you think is ok?

i mean i like to express that i love my bf, and so i need some physical affection. but on the other hand, if i get the guy too turned on its unfair to say, hands off buddy and leave the guy frustrated.

so whats the answer

Reply 1

Scienceboi

7

shinytoy

hello

if you were against sex before marriage for religious / moral reasons, how far would you go?

in Brazil etc i have heard women have anal and oral before marriage.
in other , mainly islamic states there should be no kissing before marriage.

my limit is kissing, but then again all my relationships have failed cos of this.
]
without being too detailed, using the base system if needed, how far do you think is ok?

i mean i like to express that i love my bf, and so i need some physical affection. but on the other hand, if i get the guy too turned on its unfair to say, hands off buddy and leave the guy frustrated.

so whats the answer

forget about the boyz feelings......if he don't like it.....F*** him....

Reply 2

bo_supremo

4

Hmm well i think its all about where you are morally speaking, I personally belive in sex before marriage but on the basis that it is sinciere and peronal, i mean not like a one night stand that sorta thing, i think sex should be meaningfull with someone close that u love etc , and definetly not on the first date etc

as it a matter of oppinion im not going to add any suggestions just give my own view on this subject

Reply 3

minimo

15

Well I'm Catholic. I don't think there is much point in having anal/oral sex and believing in no sex before marriage - it's as though you are complying with a 'no vaginal penetration' strategy simply to comply with the rules of you religion, rather than because you believe that it is morally wrong. However, I've never seen any problem in kssing/making out/getting a little more than just cuddly etcetc. To be honest, if your bf doesn't respect your views then he really isn't worth it.

And to be fair, if you are in a stable, loving, long term relationship and genuinely can see yourself married to the person in the not to distant future, I really see no point in making the poor boy wait especially if he is making the sacrifice for you.

Reply 4

naelse

15

Do whatever you're comfortable with. There's no point in doing something just to keep someone happy. Back when I wasn't having sex I think the furthest I would go was probably oral and manual stimulation, but that's because I enjoy it, not because I think that you have to do that to keep your boyfriend. Turning down sex is never "unfair". It's not like you're denying them a basic human right.

Reply 5

Scienceboi

7

naelse

not like you're denying them a basic human right.

EXACTLY....he can always get it sumwhere else....

Reply 6

Leigh

15

It's not supposed to be a rule that you just follow verbatim because it's there. You're supposed to believe in it, and follow it as per your interpretation.

I'm not a sex-before-marriage follower, but if I was, I'd probably class oral or penetration of any kind as breaking the rules.

Reply 7

blissy

15

One reaso given for no sex before marriage is that it is supposed to prevent inappropriate lust. Using that as a guide, even kissing would be out of the equation.

Reply 8

minimo

15

Scienceboi

EXACTLY....he can always get it sumwhere else....

If he is getting it somewhere else, that is going to be so condusive to a strong relationship, isnt it? :rolleyes:

But yes, I agree with Selena on the human rights point.

Reply 9

minimo

15

blissy

One reaso given for no sex before marriage is that it is supposed to prevent inappropriate lust. Using that as a guide, even kissing would be out of the equation.

Well surely, there has to be *some* element of physicality in a relationship...

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

I thought the OP was a Catholic? The Church discourages all sexual behaviour (inside or outside marriage) which does not lead to procreation. Therefore your faith tells you no.

Reply 11

blissy

15

minimo

Well surely, there has to be *some* element of physicality in a relationship...

Yes, but some people believe that should ONLY be after marriage, when the lust is productive and sanctioned by God. Or something.

Reply 12

Johnny 5

12

Scienceboi

forget about the boyz feelings......if he don't like it.....F*** him....

Considering that it was almost certainly meant without irony, this is probably the most hilarious post ever written.

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Speaking from the point of view of a guy, i couldn't deal with no phsicality at all in a relationship. Its one of those special elements of the whole thing. You take it away and you dont have the whole thing anymore.

But no sex before marriage. I could do that if my gf wanted. I mean, if it was someone i liked and respected that much, it wud be so worth the wait anyway. :yy:

Reply 14

minimo

15

blissy

Yes, but some people believe that should ONLY be after marriage, when the lust is productive and sanctioned by God. Or something.

None of my Catholic mates (nor I) believe in that :p:

I mean you arn't suppressing any procreation by NOT KISSING for Pete's sake, but I get your point Blissy. Thing is the people who make up that sort of rubbish are usually the ones who have sex on the sly and have their hymens reconstructed...

Reply 15

blissy

15

minimo

None of my Catholic mates (nor I) believe in that :p:

I mean you arn't suppressing any procreation by NOT KISSING for Pete's sake, but I get your point Blissy. Thing is the people who make up that sort of rubbish are usually the ones who have sex on the sly and have their hymens reconstructed...

Well it's not just about procreation, the people I've heard with this opinion talk about how their lust outside of marriage could prevent a proper relationship with God (and then quoted a bible passage I can't remember!) I'm just pointing out the extreme.

OP: basically, you can do what you like. But if you're making excuses to yourself to reconcile it with your faith then you're probably not doing the right thing.

Reply 16

minimo

15

2 5 +

Considering that it was almost certainly meant without irony, this is probably the most hilarious post ever written.

Oh dear, I only just got the joke!

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

minimo

None of my Catholic mates (nor I) believe in that :p:

I mean you arn't suppressing any procreation by NOT KISSING for Pete's sake, but I get your point Blissy. Thing is the people who make up that sort of rubbish are usually the ones who have sex on the sly and have their hymens reconstructed...

If so, why do you still call yourselves Catholic? This is Church teaching. Do you choose your own 'Pick n' Mix' faith? Catholicism Lite? Why do so many Catholics do this?

Reply 18

Helenia

20

Lust?!? Shock, horror! Stop, sin! (from some random ancient Church literature on when it was ok to have sex with your husband)

Erm yeah... :redface:

Basically, as much as you feel comfortable/happy with.

Reply 19

minimo

15

Anonymous

If so, why do you still call yourselves Catholic? This is Church teaching. Do you choose your own 'Pick n' Mix' faith? Catholicism Lite? Why do so many Catholics do this?

Excuse me? I meant we're fine with KISSING. Last time I checked we were allowed to KISS. I'll have you know I'm a practising Catholic and follow all the aspects of my religion. Be brave enough to pass judgement on me without having to cower under the title of an anonymous user. :mad:

no sex before marriage - how far to go?

Related discussions

Articles for you