no sex before marriage - how far to go? Watch

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strawberry
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#41
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#41
(Original post by shinytoy)
hello

if you were against sex before marriage for religious / moral reasons, how far would you go?

in Brazil etc i have heard women have anal and oral before marriage.
in other , mainly islamic states there should be no kissing before marriage.

my limit is kissing, but then again all my relationships have failed cos of this.

without being too detailed, using the base system if needed, how far do you think is ok?

i mean i like to express that i love my bf, and so i need some physical affection. but on the other hand, if i get the guy too turned on its unfair to say, hands off buddy and leave the guy frustrated.

so whats the answer
I had that with my boyfriend. we agreed not to have sex before marriage but we do enjoy a little foreplay once in a while. I trust my boyfriend explicitly so I would trust him to control himself a little..otherwise I usually step in and stop him gently. we've gone from holding hands to french kissing really slowly over eight months so...
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hitmanuk2k
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#42
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#42
(Original post by strawberry)
we've gone from holding hands to french kissing really slowly over eight months so...
Christ. How?
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pumpkin7
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#43
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#43
i was against sex before marriage,

but that went to hell.. i don't really care though. when it came to it i wanted to do it so i threw my beliefs out the window... then again, i didn't think i would meet anyone as amazing as my bf. (well.. most of the time he is amazing. rest of the time i want to blow his head off.)
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hitmanuk2k
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#44
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#44
(Original post by pumpkin7)
rest of the time i want to blow his head off.
I'm sure he wouldn't mind.
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Profesh
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#45
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#45
(Original post by minimo)
Well I'm Catholic. I don't think there is much point in having anal/oral sex and believing in no sex before marriage - it's as though you are complying with a 'no vaginal penetration' strategy simply to comply with the rules of you religion, rather than because you believe that it is morally wrong. However, I've never seen any problem in kssing/making out/getting a little more than just cuddly etcetc. To be honest, if your bf doesn't respect your views then he really isn't worth it.

And to be fair, if you are in a stable, loving, long term relationship and genuinely can see yourself married to the person in the not to distant future, I really see no point in making the poor boy wait especially if he is making the sacrifice for you.
Well, now; fancy that.
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Pretty Boy
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#46
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#46
(Original post by amie)
You've totally missed my point. The relationship in itself should be more special than any ceremony and piece of paper ever could be. You don't need those things to prove how you feel or make a lifelong commitment, or at least you shouldn't in my ideal relationship.
I agree with you on the relationship being more special, BUT, although I am not a massive supporter of marriage, I do think it should mean something to a girl with regards to sex.

If it means something to the girl, then you know that you mean something to her and that she has invested something special and important in you.

I'd respect her for that.

Some girls give it up to strangers on one night stands and although I have one nighters I never want to see the girl again.
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Bis
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#47
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#47
(Original post by pumpkin7)
(well.. most of the time he is amazing. rest of the time i want to blow his head off.)
isn't he lucky?
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amie
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#48
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#48
(Original post by Pretty Boy)
I agree with you on the relationship being more special, BUT, although I am not a massive supporter of marriage, I do think it should mean something to a girl with regards to sex.

If it means something to the girl, then you know that you mean something to her and that she has invested something special and important in you.

I'd respect her for that.

Some girls give it up to strangers on one night stands and although I have one nighters I never want to see the girl again.
I don't agree with that. If something means nothing to me mentally, emotionally or spiritually, why should it mean anything sexually?

I'll only have sex with someone once I've decided that I want to really commit to this person, and I'd love to be with them forever (as idealistic as that is). I suppose in a way, that's like a little 'marriage' inside my head.
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Zthavan
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#49
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#49
if you were religious, you may want to think about how much your troubled conscience comes from disobeying your faith, and how much comes from your own internalized fears about being a bad girl/boy who wants and enjoys sex.

However, i think that part of becoming a mature adult is to develop a clear sense of your own values, even in the face of pressure to behave differently. As part of this process, you may decide that sex outside of marriage is not something you need to feel ashamed or guilty about.
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minimo
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#50
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#50
(Original post by Profesh)
Well, now; fancy that.
I don't really get you Profesh :confused: Not very sure what the Vatican's stance on sex toys is...would ring the Pope up, but it's a bit late. I don't think you're supposed to use them though.
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bone-machine
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#51
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#51
shiny toy...id say that i would go no further then a hand job and let him go no further then touching me downstairs..its not breaking any rules, its not sex and its not penetration.....and if you feel unspeakably bad for it, God forgives if you truly repent.....

i know you get really really worried about what God will think...stop asking people on TSR and ask him for yourself.....your faith is strong enough, have a a chat with him, tell him how you feel, your worries and im sure you'll come to a conclusion

God loves you and wants you to be happy, you beat yourself up about this too much,

take care
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minimo
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#52
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#52
I like the latter paragraph.
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pumpkin7
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#53
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#53
(Original post by hitmanuk2k)
I'm sure he wouldn't mind.
no newbie... as in :boxing:
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hitmanuk2k
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#54
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#54
Newbie? I guess we are ignoring join dates in this then.
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pumpkin7
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#55
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#55
look at you getting all technical.
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hitmanuk2k
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#56
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#56
I know, I really shouldn't be. I mean I hate being right.
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Pretty Boy
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#57
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#57
(Original post by amie)
I don't agree with that. If something means nothing to me mentally, emotionally or spiritually, why should it\0\05{\0\0\0\0\0\0\0\0ally?

I'll only have sex with someone once I've decided that I want to really commit to this person, and I'd love to be with them forever (as idealistic as that is). I suppose in a way, that's like a little 'marriage' inside my head.

Yeah, but girls can change their mind.

So what does the new boyfriend get ? A girl that has given head, taken it up the back passage etc etc, the list goes on. Just because the girl thought it was 'serious' in 'her head'.

I dunno, I reckon our society is falling apart. STI's have gone crazy in numbers, like 70% of marriages fail with cheating gone up. Most children are now born out of wedlock Women have dildos, people are dressin in Gimp suits! lol People have got hardcore porn on their mobile phones etc etc.

Its like a legitimised Sodom and Gommorah, just because it makes money. I understand why other cultures think the West is decadent.

We have lost so much of what we valued in our society.

Like I said, I am not religious but the no sex before marriage was a good blueprint for girls. It protected them mentally, physically and emotionally. And it gave the guys something special in return, i.e. a virgin bride.
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pumpkin7
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#58
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#58
(Original post by hitmanuk2k)
I know, I really shouldn't be. I mean I hate being right.
also i technically joined tsr in october anyway on another account.. so there isn't that much difference. and i still reserve the rgitht to call yuo newbie under the fact that yuo don't appear to post much, and still have 'junious member' under your name.

gg.
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hitmanuk2k
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#59
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#59
Pretty boy you do realise your posts will never get a rise out of anyone since they are clearly a joke?
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hitmanuk2k
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#60
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#60
(Original post by pumpkin7)
also i technically joined tsr in october anyway on another account.. so there isn't that much difference. and i still reserve the rgitht to call yuo newbie under the fact that yuo don't appear to post much, and still have 'junious member' under your name.

gg.
So you have multiple accounts? Quick! Someone get the ban stick out.
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