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Once a cheat,always a cheat??

Well, been talking to this guy, we like each other and are thinking of getting together, we're just waiting to see how it goes.

The problem is, in conversation he revealed he had cheated on one of his girlfriends before, and that he feels awful about it and she doesn't know to this day. I like everything about him, but this bit of information has just confused my feelings about this whole thing. I'm not sure if I could trust him now that I know he's capable of cheating.

Anyone think that he could change and be faithful in the future, or am I just wasting my time.

Reply 1

Lirael Abhorsen

1

people are different in each relationship they're in and the fact that he's honest with you about this should be a good indicator, he didn't have to say anything.. i would say pretty much anyone's capable of cheating, it's probably if it's serial cheating you should get worried!

Reply 2

q1w2e3r4t5y

He sounds a little dodgy to me. What are his reasons for not telling his ex? Do you know? He doesn't sound like an honest person to me, and I think you're better off not getting yourself into a difficult situation. However, if you feel like you can trust him, because I don't know this person, I suppose you have to trust your gut instinct.

Reply 3

Instínct

There is no definite solution to that question. We ll have our individual differences. However, the fact that he confided in you, could mean he really does regret his actions. Give it some time, and look only to yourself for an answer.

x

Reply 4

rosetinted

2

Each relationship is different. He has been honest with you and told you how bad he feels. If you believe him then give him the benefit of the doubt, after all you don't know what the situation and circumstances were that caused him to cheat do you?

Reply 5

Katia

6

No, I don't believe "once a cheater, always a cheater". It's just peoples mis conceptions and judgment. Like:
"All French people are ignorant"
"British people are rude"
"Black people are thugs"
"Old people can't do anything for themselves"
You know sh*t like that. By the way, I don't think any of that, they were just "examples". So don't take offence anyone, please :smile:

Go for it and ignore the information, get to know him yourself and form your own judgements.

Reply 6

pumpkin7

13

go out with him.

if he cheats, then you know 'once a cheat, always a cheat' is actually true.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

He was just tempted by someone else, pure lust,that's it. I like the fact he was honest, but on the other hand I don't see how I can trust him when he betrayed his girlfriend like that. It's made matters so complicated.

Reply 8

pumpkin7

13

tbh i wouldn't bother with him then, even if you do really like him.
i wouldn't trust anyone who cheated on their gf before hand anyway..

Reply 9

rosetinted

2

Did they have a good relationship at the time?

Reply 10

bikerx23

1

just threaten to remove his genitals should he cheat - he wont if you mean it.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

rosetinted

Did they have a good relationship at the time?

Yes, apparently.He told me all this and we're not even going out.. :confused:

It's his one regret in life etc, but still, he would say that wouldn't he. He says not to judge on one mistake of the past,but I can't help doing just that.

Reply 12

NileDelta

Anonymous

Well, been talking to this guy, we like each other and are thinking of getting together, we're just waiting to see how it goes.

The problem is, in conversation he revealed he had cheated on one of his girlfriends before, and that he feels awful about it and she doesn't know to this day. I like everything about him, but this bit of information has just confused my feelings about this whole thing. I'm not sure if I could trust him now that I know he's capable of cheating.

Anyone think that he could change and be faithful in the future, or am I just wasting my time.

I won't go out with him because you be always thinking when is he going to cheated on me?

Reply 13

munchkin18

i have to admit, i'm a bit of a cynic and do believe in the once a cheat always a cheat thing...but if you're a positive person you must be able to believe that if he cares about you enough he would never do that. shilpa x

Reply 14

NileDelta

munchkin18

i have to admit, i'm a bit of a cynic and do believe in the once a cheat always a cheat thing...but if you're a positive person you must be able to believe that if he cares about you enough he would never do that. shilpa x

My ex did it to me after he cared too much.

Reply 15

munchkin18

Muse

My ex did it to me after he cared too much.

I'm really sorry to hear that. That is exactly the reason that I am a cynic. Sometimes love just isn't enough. Shilpa xxx

Reply 16

rosetinted

2

Hmm difficult but I stick by what I said..each relationship is a new and separate entity. Give him the benefit of the doubt if you believe he's truly remorseful about what happened.

Reply 17

naelse

15

The thing is, I don't believe in judging people like that. I always trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt. But, thinking back, every guy I've been out with that I knew had cheated on someone ended up cheating on me or leaving me because they had fallen in love with someone else. Anyway, there's no stock answer- trust your insticts on this one.