Letting go of someone you love Watch

.Andrew.
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#41
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#41
Its always upsetting when this happens, i split up with my g/f a few months ago, it was my decision, but was really upsetting. Just remember the good times you had together, and try and forget arguments and that. Remembering the good times you spent together will always bring a smile to your face even when your feeling upset. And the "experience with other people" excuse is one of the most stupid ones ive ever heard, heart breaking if you've been with them and loved them. But as some people have said, in time you will begin to forget (not totally) and maybe meet someone else and start over again. DOn't lose contact with him, because that will make you feel alot worse. Talk to him when you can, and stay good friends.
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wednesburywench
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#42
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#42
good advice there Andy
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FruitcakeLiz
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#43
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#43
Aww Sarky I'm crap with advice like this so i won't try to offer anything useless. But i wanted to say how sorry i am for how things are going for you- been reading your blog on MSG. I really hope things get better for you, you're such an inspiration to me.
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Sarky
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#44
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#44
(Original post by FruitcakeLiz)
Aww Sarky I'm crap with advice like this so i won't try to offer anything useless. But i wanted to say how sorry i am for how things are going for you- been reading your blog on MSG. I really hope things get better for you, you're such an inspiration to me.

Thank you thats really sweet of you. I've been called many things but never an inspiriation . I am still feeling very raw and sad about loosing him. Have stayed at uni this weekend to avoid the temptation of seeing him, and so far have managed not to phone him although i really want to . Am in the medical school writing a fascinating essay about influenza.:rolleyes:
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wednesburywench
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#45
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#45
ateast u have the willpower not to fone him...wenever i get drunk i end up txtin/foning him and telling him how i feel! not good
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mangomaz
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#46
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#46
Hey..
I'm in a position similar-ish to yours. My boyfriend split up with me a couple of weeks ago because well long story but we saw it would never have worked in the long run. Picture a wannabe corporate whore and a hippie who thinks too much value is placed on money :rolleyes:

Anyway it really hurt at first.. Not because I was angry at him (I always knew this would happen in the end, just wished it hadnt happened so soon ) but because I just missed him sooo much.

And it really hurt seeing him at first; I almost just burst into tears the first time I saw him after because he wasnt mine anymore. But then he came round mine a few days after to pick up some stuff and we chatted for ages about everything.

And everything just kind of clicked -
I didnt need to miss him because he was still there, just in a different form. Still really good friends just minus well.. all the other stuff basically.

And that made me feel sooo much better. We're back on practically the same friendship terms that we were when we were going out and I know that hes going to be there for me no matter what.

And sometimes life is so much easier when you dont have things like sex complicating everything.

I have to admit though I do have feelings for him and its still a bit flirty when we hang out (which is a lot of the time) but I know nothing could ever happen which makes it easier.

Ok so that last bit is what makes our situations differ most but the other stuff is I think quite relevant to you.

I just dont know what would happen when either of us find someone new but I'll worry about that when it happens.
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Fenella
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#47
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#47
Sarky and others going through the same - massive hugs - I've been there before and I know how much it hurts.. that awful feeling of emptiness that the closest friends and the most loving family cannot fill...
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helenlicious
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#48
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#48
Aw, I thought I was ok until today, I texted him something random when I was in Ikea (as you do..), just a random cheesy song that we used to play in a jazz band together came on, and I thought it'd be funny to text him, since it's basically the end of our 2 week no-talking thing.
Then when I got home there was an email from him, not actually saying anything in particular but hoping I was ok, then lots of friendly amusing stuff, like he always used to email me before we went out, and while we were together. And I'd forgotten how much I missed his little amusing emails and his style of writing, and.. him, and everything stupid about him, and dammit I thought I was ok but now I just keep crying again. Dammit, dammit
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Monkey_Maiden
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#49
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(Original post by helenlicious)
Aw, I thought I was ok until today, I texted him something random when I was in Ikea (as you do..), just a random cheesy song that we used to play in a jazz band together came on, and I thought it'd be funny to text him, since it's basically the end of our 2 week no-talking thing.
Then when I got home there was an email from him, not actually saying anything in particular but hoping I was ok, then lots of friendly amusing stuff, like he always used to email me before we went out, and while we were together. And I'd forgotten how much I missed his little amusing emails and his style of writing, and.. him, and everything stupid about him, and dammit I thought I was ok but now I just keep crying again. Dammit, dammit

Aww *hugs* I understand what you're going through, its been about 2 months since me and ex split up and we don't talk much anymore, his choice and just when I think I've forgotten him and am over it something happens, like last night my friend poked his tongue out at me, innocent enough but my ex and me used ot have this thing where we would poke tongues at eavch other (affection thing) and just songs playing or random words make me upset again
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Rock Fan
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#50
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I really think you were hard done by if he still loved you he'd still try and work it out and stick by you, sorry but i don't agree with what he's done suppose least he didn't cheat.
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completely random
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#51
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#51
I've never really understood people who say they want to 'experience being with other people' - oh well, each to their own I suppose. Considering the OPs situation, its harsh but some guys are heartless like that, and girls too. It must be incredibly difficult to cope with, especially as he has admitted he's 'got his eye on someone' but believe me, you're better than that. Good luck, hope things work out for you, and lotsa :hugs:
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Sarky
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#52
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#52
I have resisted the temptation to call him all weekend but its been so hard. Am currently in denial thinking/wishing/hoping he'll change his mind, even though i'm beginning to see that things couldn't have gone on the way they were. Bring on the next stage.
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Rock Fan
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Sarky)
I have resisted the temptation to call him all weekend but its been so hard. Am currently in denial thinking/wishing/hoping he'll change his mind, even though i'm beginning to see that things couldn't have gone on the way they were. Bring on the next stage.

Your better off without him, i'm sorry but what kind of person says oh i want to end it so i can play the field, whats was wrong with what he already had, it's his loss.
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Sarky
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#54
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#54
(Original post by Carl1982)
Your better off without him, i'm sorry but what kind of person says oh i want to end it so i can play the field, whats was wrong with what he already had, it's his loss.
Possibly, maybe i will see that in time but having been in the same position he was in i understand that when you first get with someone you think it will be forever and then sometimes your feelings change. Doesn't feel like he's lost anything, i'm the only one who has lost something Feeling sorry for myself.
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naelse
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#55
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You haven't lost anything. You've had almost a year of love and happiness, you've learned lessons and gained experience for the future. You can think back on the good times and, though you may never have them again with him, be grateful for how much he enriched your life for that period. I know it's hard though. I don't know what I'd do...
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Makky_Legend
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#56
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To the OP: What are the chances the guy does 'play the field' for more 'experience', and discovers that actually he had it best when he was with you? It could easily happen
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Sarky
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#57
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#57
(Original post by Makky_Legend)
To the OP: What are the chances the guy does 'play the field' for more 'experience', and discovers that actually he had it best when he was with you? It could easily happen

Then that was his choice. I can't wait around in case that does happen.

Just when i thought i was getting stronger, haven't cried today and went to a fitness class..he sends me this card telling me how sorry he is and how much he didn't want to hurt me. I feel like i've taken three steps back.
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Hanzing
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#58
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Awwh hun, It was a nice sentiment by him though. But Im sure you can get back again, your stronger than you know
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wednesburywench
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#59
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#59
well maybe he regrets what he is done? give him a call, have a nice long chat about it, tell him its ok that he hurt you and you understand, he will feel better, you will feel better, just let it all out. That way you can move on from there on an both decide whether its best you keep in touch or not. Ignoring him forever probly isnt the way forward, you need to sort it out with him first. I felt much much better after me and Craig spoke about it on the phone, got our feelings out and we both knew where we stood.
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Sarky
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#60
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#60
(Original post by wednesburywench)
well maybe he regrets what he is done? give him a call, have a nice long chat about it, tell him its ok that he hurt you and you understand, he will feel better, you will feel better, just let it all out. That way you can move on from there on an both decide whether its best you keep in touch or not. Ignoring him forever probly isnt the way forward, you need to sort it out with him first. I felt much much better after me and Craig spoke about it on the phone, got our feelings out and we both knew where we stood.
He did what he needed to do i don't think either of us doubt that. I'm not ignoring him because he hasn't been in touch, i'm just trying to get over him and being around him/talking to him on the phone all the time wouldn't help me right now.
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