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inappropriate stepfather watch

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    my sister is sixteen now and has recently started playing up she gets angry and loses her temper really easily when she does she usually starts shouting at my mum saying how unhappy she is and how she wants to leave and live somewhere else. Some might think that this is just teenage tantrums but i know it is because of things that have happened in the past.

    We moved in with our stepdad in 1999 when she was 10 and i was 11 .I didn't know at the time as my sister only told me last year but my stepfather had been treating her inappropriately as in sexually propositioning her. She has walked in on him masturbating before, and this was not even in his bedroom in was on the sofa in the living room. Instead of covering himself and he casually asked her to get him a tissue, this happened when she was eleven. another thing that happened was that he walked into her room naked and while masturbating, she told me that he just stood there looking out the window while doing it and then turned around and asked her "Do you want a go". My sister stayed under the covers, refused to come out and was crying, this made him angry and he started calling her a silly cow and told her to stop crying he was also shouting at her to look at him.

    I know that my sister isn't lying because when she has got into a mood when she argues with the parents she brings it up and is usually in tears normally saying things like "maybe im unhappy because of what you've done to me" I usually just stay upstairs when this happens but sometimes hear them.
    Also I heard her bring up the incident that happened in her bedroom when he asked if she wanted a go, and I definitely know that happened because I heard him insisting that he didn't say that he said "do you want to go" (as in leave) She didnt back down and he eventually confessed.

    He also exposed himself to me before though I don't think it was as serious, he refuses to close his bedroom door even when changing and once when i walked past he was naked and looked at me and thrusted and said "want some willy"

    Even after all this my mum doesnt do anything, I don't think its that she doesnt care I think it's more the fact that we won't have anywhere to go as even though they shay the housekeeping money bills etc the house is in his name.

    I just don't know what do to, everyone thinks he's a great guy but he's such a *******. I want to comfort her about it but I just don't know how I really think that maybe she should get counselling otherwise it might affect her in later life.

    Ps he's my mums boyfriend as they aren't married but i thought it was easier to write stepdad.
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    Childline
    0800 1111 - please call them. They will support you and your family through this tough time.

    Other than that, the police. What he is doing / has done is illegal.
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    That's sick...maybe alternative arrangements should be made for you and your sister as to where you live? If there's an aunt nearby or something?

    If you dont want to get legal cos you want to keep the house...how about dealing with it among the family. As in make a plan with your sister and ask your mum to join in too (tho obviously she may say no). Whenever this happens again try laughing at him...say how ridiculous he looks, how sad he is propositioning underage girls, how childishly tiny his **** is...im betting that will put him right off!! If he propositions one of you when you're alone...all you have to do is walk thru to your sisters room or to your mum roaring with laughter and say very loudly how sad/funny it is that your mums old boyfriend is waggling his rough tiny little **** at you again, and how silly and repulsive he is!!
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    we dont have any relatives near us, as they all live abroad
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    oh my god, what a horrible situation. I can only sympathise and encourage you to stop this happening by acting upon the replies you recieve (serious ones)

    I just need some more info - your mother knows about what he does - yet does nothing?

    Is that right?

    In any case, you really really need to report him, and at least write down what is happening and encourage your sister to do so as well. If you keep a diary you've got some evidence.
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    yes, she says she's sorry and cries but in the end she doesnt do anything, it's not something we talk about, its sort of just glossed over and even my sister acts likes nothing has happened most of the time
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    act like something happened then...as i said take the piss out of him about it. within the family make it a running joke about how he cant be getting enough/he's tiny/anything else that damages male ego. ask your mum to join in (unless it compromises their relationship cos obviously you dont want to end up kicked out of the house by him) but tell her its your way of stopping the behavious without involving the law.
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    At least he's not doing it right now, and your sister is almost at the age of moving out anyway, as are you I assume.

    Ask your mum to talk to him or something, and she can tell him to stop or she'll move, even if it's a bluff.
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    Childline is best for this situation. See my OP
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    yes I shall try and get her to phone, I think that he only chose my sister rather than me because she was really naive and innocent and it jsut so sad because she'll never forget it
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    if her sister is underage then childline could involve the police and remove her to foster care...not exactly conducive to helping the family get through this i would have thought. given the house situation the police becoming involved is not an option.

    please be careful about ringing while she is under 17...you are no longer a child so childline wont intervene for you but they could take your sister away from you which would be a really sad outcome.
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    i think you have to tell someone about this., this guy could do it to other innocent girls!
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    oh i never realised that could happen
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    You really really need to call the police, wheather he ever touched your sister or not, he abused her. Don't let him get away with something like that, it will affect your sister for the rest of her life.
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    (Original post by Kill_More_Foxes)
    Whenever this happens again try laughing at him...say how ridiculous he looks, how sad he is propositioning underage girls, how childishly tiny his **** is...im betting that will put him right off!! If he propositions one of you when you're alone...all you have to do is walk thru to your sisters room or to your mum roaring with laughter and say very loudly how sad/funny it is that your mums old boyfriend is waggling his rough tiny little **** at you again, and how silly and repulsive he is!!
    I'm really not sure offering advice like this is helpful, amateur psychology could be disastrous - you don't know how what reactions it could provoke

    My advice would be to get some qualified help
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    i was only trying to help and i thought it might be another way of dealing with it if they dont want to involve childline (in case they remove her sister) or the police (as then they will end up with nowhere to live)
    ideally your mum should put her kids first and leave this boyfriend...perhaps you could write to/ring some relatives explaining what has been going on and ask them to speak to your mum about leaving the boyfriend - hes as good as cheating on her except with underaged girls who happen to be your mums daughters...that might change her mind.
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    Tell the police. They will be able to give you all the help you need, and they won't force you to press charges, but it will help you find out your legal situation. Childline is another good idea. I'm sorry you're having to put up with such a horrible situation.
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    no i dont see it as rude i just didnt want to put "paedophile stepfather"
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    Oh yes, and I suggest you keep a diary, with dates and times. Every time something happens, write down exactly what happened and when. Then if you end up taking things further it could be used as evidence against him.
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    (Original post by Apricot Fairy)
    Oh yes, and I suggest you keep a diary, with dates and times. Every time something happens, write down exactly what happened and when. Then if you end up taking things further it could be used as evidence against him.
    isn't evidence , she could have made it up.
 
 
 
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