Boyfriend goes soft second time round, why?

Come on folks, some help please?

A part of me was thinking that maybe it got boring for him after a while (second time round). I had been on top and after we had intercourse the first time round, we kept kissing and touching and his second erection appeared/surprised me! He says he really likes me being on top/often prefers it, but if he's going soft this way surely it must've got boring after a while?

I highly doubt it's your fault. It's much harder to keep it up the "second time round", especially if it's a few minutes later or something. Don't worry about it

It possibly wouldn't worry me as much...if it wasn't for the fact that the time before - our try at a second round wasn't til the next morning which was about 8 hours apart from the first time. Surely that would be more than enough time in between!?

It happens to me sometimes. Maybe he had to pee? That can play some nasty tricks on a guy's cock, especially in the morning. Or sometimes you misjudge how much energy you have and tire yourself out with too much thrusting too early on.

Maybe, but then again if the same thing is happening at a different time of day it probably suggests something else.

Because of the PE problem, I'll sometimes try to slow the thrusting down/tease him in slowly but this seems to encourage him to grab hold and thrust harder!

I think what we're all getting at is don't worry about it. It's probably not your fault, maybe you should just try to avoid having sex at times when he finds it hard to do so. Everyone's different

I know I sound so hyped up about this. But I want to experience to be good for both of us, and I know that even after good sex the first time round, when something like that happens a second time it puts a dampner on things.

Say he does find it hard to do so sometimes - I'm trying to understand why that would be. If I don't understand the reasons then I'm constantly pointing the finger at myself and I'm worried about what to do if this is recurring...

I even suggested switching to a blowjob/something else when he said he felt good to go. He seemed really aroused/up for it when he said this but then went soft - its like his feelings didn't match up with what his penis was doing.

Do you both like anal? Try mixing it up, vaginal and anal in the same round. When i was with an ex who wasnt interested in anal before we got together. What we liked doing was after i orgasmed he would pull out to go anal then after a few minutes back to vaginal, OMG he felt proper rock solid for like a minute or so, so we did that constantly.

I guess it's just how our body/mind works. Even if he's really aroused and up for it, he can't control if it stays up or not. Not a lot of people go for a second round (that I know of anyway), mainly because of this same reason.

Thats usually the way the first or few times you have sex with someone new, you're at it like rabbits hah.

Have you asked him if he has any fantasies/fetishes? He might have something he wants to do but scared how you might react if he told you.

How old is he? The older men get the longer they stay hard but they go for less rounds.

He might have something on his mind, stress with work/studying, he is cheating on you or suspects you are, you dress too unsexy or too sexy in the bedroom or out on the town.

Using condoms? Some guys go soft with a condom on so you have to take the condom off for him to stay hard during sex.

Maybe he feels you might not be that into him anymore. Constantly reassure him (not in a pest sort of way) how much you like/love him, always be passionate with your words, body language, the way you look at his eyes/body, basically do everything you can to make him believe you find him very attractive.

Do you both like anal? Try mixing it up, vaginal and anal in the same round. When i was with an ex who wasnt interested in anal before we got together. What we liked doing was after i orgasmed he would pull out to go anal then after a few minutes back to vaginal, OMG he felt proper rock solid for like a minute or so, so we did that constantly.

After the first round, wait a little longer than usual before kissing and playing with his penis. Maybe try talking dirty if he likes that.

Yeah. Well we've not been together very long.

- No I've not asked him, but I'm getting there. I began introducing one of my fantasies the other day and he was really responsive in wanting to know more. But he's quite shy, so I think he might be reluctant to disclose any fantasies he did have. That;s why I'm easing that in... Question: to guys and girls experiences - do most men have their own set fantasies?

- He's 22.

- He has been stressed recently, as he's been over-worked but this happened sometimes before then too. As for dressing sexy...I do, but not in a tarty way. I get the balance right and I wouldn't change what I'm dressing like anyway! Why would dressing too sexy be off-putting anyway?

- Cheating and condoms are a non-issue.

- Yep, I'm always passionate with everything! Ha ha. Honestly though, going on dates together is just like a form of intense foreplay in everything we do. I am very reassuring in that aspect, and have especially recently made the effort to be so.

-I think a part of him is always conscious of not disappointing me. He always wants to make sure I'm satisfied, and I think he feels like crap when he feels he can't do that.
Lastly, I wasn't actually planning on going a second time. It was just after the first time, we both kept kissing and touching eachother, it was completely natural and not a forced thing setting us up for round two. Hence my surprise!

So the first time we had sex we went several rounds. But thats never happened again since!

For a while he had problems with premature ejaculation, and it's been so frustrating for both of us. But then we had sex recently and after weeks/months of PE, it seemed resolved. We had really passionate sex once, then waited about 20 mins, he got hard again and said he was close - then started to go soft. No matter what I did, kissing/licking his penis, trying to arouse him again it stayed soft.

He apologised, and I said it was fine. But this has happened once before - he couldn't get hard a second time round, so we left it to the morning. But the same thing happened! And although I try to eliminate the feeling that its my fault, it makes me feel awful to have him go soft inside me. I think I could probably deal with it for a while, but I think then it would start grating on my self esteem.

I don't understand why he gets hard/would be close to coming then suddenly go soft? Any thoughts on why/what we can do?

This is interesting to know.

With my first sexual partner, we would go all night without problems so I think this has unfortunately been the experience I'm comparing to

When we've you've been with someone for a long time that's never went soft on you, its difficult to not think its your fault. Thanks for your replies.

Not to detract from the fact that this is a really, really hot thing to do, but it's a good way to get an infection. Just so you know.

Never? Not even once? Are you sure you were not dating a vibrator?