How to get over a truly hopeless 'crush'?

Here's the backstory in a nutshell:
I've liked this guy for quite a while now, about 16 months approx. 14 or so months ago I actually asked him out, he said "sure", that was it. (Essentially the spineless way of saying 'no'). I have since had a long relationship with somebody else which I broke off about 9 months ago. Throughout this time I've had a crush on this other guy still...it's odd because I accepted his 'answer' and realised that he probably didn't like me back...fair enough. But I cannot get over him and it's driving me to the point of despair!

The other day I drove him home because he had had far too much to drink and was virtually paraletic...he said thanks and all but since then he has barely spoken a word to me which to me seems so ignorant. I invite him out occasionally and basically I reserve the same level of treatment for him as I do for any of my other friends, yet he's so...rude...to me.

Any advice on how to get over such a hopeless cause...I'm pretty sure most of you have been there, done that, got the t-shirt? Cheers in advance.

Reply 1

Mark S

Get a hobby?

Reply 2

Sorani

I've been there, asked a guy I'd liked for a year and a half and he said he was in a relationship with someone else (which I don't think is actually true). And now he sits near me in class but doesn't say a single word to me.

It is really hard to get over them but one thing that might help is focusing a bit more on their negative aspects (don't do it enough to hate them though) try to think of the things about them you would have disliked about them if you'd actually started going out with them.
Other than that I just think it's going to take some time - or possibly a new guy.

Reply 3

Mark S

Sorani is right, by thinking about how great it would be to be with him, and how great he is, will make it even worse, you should start thinking of how it isnt so bad for being with him because of X and Y.

Although on the other hand the guy might really like you, so maybe you should do something about it. You never know, he might have got really drunk out of lust for you :wink:

Reply 4

rockthecasbah

Go cold turkey.

Reply 5

Mark S

rockthecasbah

Go cold turkey.

That reminds me, i gotta watch that, whenever it's on

Reply 6

crafty bison

Markus

Get a hobby?

Stamp-collecting! :biggrin:

Reply 7

natcho

Although it sounds stupid, cold turkey IS the best approach.

Reply 8

envious

It's a tough situation really as no matter what you do, these feelings will probably still exist for this guy. The only true way to take your mind of the whole prblem is probably to try and cut him out of you life a bit more.

Obviously, your relationship with him as just a friend isn't working (and to be honest he seems quite a crappy friend anyway :rolleyes:

) so perhaps it's better just to cut all ties and try to move on. The less you see him the less he'll be on your mind and the easier it should be to move on :smile:

Reply 9

Ting-Ting

Through my experience, going coldturkey definitely helps a bit.But whenever you do see him next, you might still get that unbearable pang in the heart...