This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Will i grow?
- My dad did this
- please give advice regarding parents.
- I hit my younger brother
- Warning-Abuse (this is just me talking about my *****y life today)
- How do I deal with my horrid parents?
- I'm 5'10.5 and 16. How tall will I be?
- My dad hit me
- I kinda want my mum to divorce my dad!
- I have a crush on my step brother
- Growth and height as a teen
- transferring to a new phone contract separate from my parents
- Is this a bad age gap?
- My Mum Doesn't Like My Bf
- Is this abusive? (parents)
- Does it matter what household I put on my student finance?
- Is there anyone ridiculously taller than their parents?
- what should i do?
- How to deal with a abusive father?
- Am I being a brat or is this abusive?
My Dad still hits me. I'm 19.
Hi, my name's Zoe, I'm 19, completing year 13, going to University in September, which will be very helpful with this problem. I don't want to bore you so I'll tell you in the simplest terms. My dad is uneducated and has used violence as a way to discipline me since I was about 3. He believes even now that I shouldn't ask questions or have a different opinion on a topic which is against his. I suppose it's unfortunate that I am passionate about Psychology and Philosophy. My mom is educated, yet believes that I should listen to him ''because he is my father''
At around age 12 I realised he shouldn't be doing it and rather studiedly asked him why he can't communicate like everyone else. He hit me. The same as before, hit my legs and my arms and then worked his way up to my head, off which recently he has started shaking. I believe its domestic abuse, not a form of discipline. He never apologises, but I have never got used to it.
I love him so much and wouldn’t want to ring the police or anything similar, although Samaritans seem very appealing.
If you have been in the same or similar situation, could you tell me how you got out of it, I've tried but its ends in the same way.
Sorry it was long, thank you for any advice.
At around age 12 I realised he shouldn't be doing it and rather studiedly asked him why he can't communicate like everyone else. He hit me. The same as before, hit my legs and my arms and then worked his way up to my head, off which recently he has started shaking. I believe its domestic abuse, not a form of discipline. He never apologises, but I have never got used to it.
I love him so much and wouldn’t want to ring the police or anything similar, although Samaritans seem very appealing.
If you have been in the same or similar situation, could you tell me how you got out of it, I've tried but its ends in the same way.
Sorry it was long, thank you for any advice.
Scroll to see replies
Perhaps try to convince your mother that what he is doing is not right, then she in turn can talk with him. As you didn't mention anything about him hitting her as well, perhaps he would be more inclined to listen to her, and thus hopefully change his ways.
Seeing as you are studying pscyhology, study his behaviour patterns. If he is relatively normal otherwise, then you should involve the police. If not look into getting him some help at a mental hospital. You & Your Mum may be emotionally scarred too, so whatever happens to him, you need to get counselling because being the victim of such incidents may lead to disastrous consequences for you later on like alcoholism or depression.
Seeing as you don't want to go to the po po the only solution is to not disagree with him.
Original post by purple-laugh
Hi, my name's Zoe, I'm 19, completing year 13, going to University in September, which will be very helpful with this problem. I don't want to bore you so I'll tell you in the simplest terms. My dad is uneducated and has used violence as a way to discipline me since I was about 3. He believes even now that I shouldn't ask questions or have a different opinion on a topic which is against his. I suppose it's unfortunate that I am passionate about Psychology and Philosophy. My mom is educated, yet believes that I should listen to him ''because he is my father''
At around age 12 I realised he shouldn't be doing it and rather studiedly asked him why he can't communicate like everyone else. He hit me. The same as before, hit my legs and my arms and then worked his way up to my head, off which recently he has started shaking. I believe its domestic abuse, not a form of discipline. He never apologises, but I have never got used to it.
I love him so much and wouldn’t want to ring the police or anything similar, although Samaritans seem very appealing.
If you have been in the same or similar situation, could you tell me how you got out of it, I've tried but its ends in the same way.
Sorry it was long, thank you for any advice.
At around age 12 I realised he shouldn't be doing it and rather studiedly asked him why he can't communicate like everyone else. He hit me. The same as before, hit my legs and my arms and then worked his way up to my head, off which recently he has started shaking. I believe its domestic abuse, not a form of discipline. He never apologises, but I have never got used to it.
I love him so much and wouldn’t want to ring the police or anything similar, although Samaritans seem very appealing.
If you have been in the same or similar situation, could you tell me how you got out of it, I've tried but its ends in the same way.
Sorry it was long, thank you for any advice.
...get him arrested for assault, or if you don't want the ******* to be properly punished, at least threaten the bully?
You need to start being honest about basic things like "why do you love him so much"? HE HITS YOU.
(edited 12 years ago)
get on a vigoruous training regime along with protein/creatine, come home after 6 months and knock him the f out.
You are right, it is domestic abuse and it is not right. I know you love your dad but his head needs sorting out! You are 19 which means he is..old..If he hasn't understood yet that his actions are disgusting then it seems like he will only learn the hard way. You don't deserve this!
You also need to think about the the consequences if you don't tell anyone. Do you really think he will change his ways after you go to uni? Or is he likely to keep beating you well into adulthood? I think it is very likely that he will keep doing this until someone really stands up to him,gets in his head or scares him.
Regards to head shaking... he might be getting more violent maybe because he knows he can get away with it.
You also need to think about the the consequences if you don't tell anyone. Do you really think he will change his ways after you go to uni? Or is he likely to keep beating you well into adulthood? I think it is very likely that he will keep doing this until someone really stands up to him,gets in his head or scares him.
Regards to head shaking... he might be getting more violent maybe because he knows he can get away with it.
I was hit as a kid with all sorts and it wasn't a big deal to me, but it's pretty odd to still get hit at age 19. He's obviously taking advantage of you, he would not do that had you been a male, guaranteed.
You love him though, so he must be doing something right for your family. Speak to both your parents about it and get him to stop. At your age he really shouldn't be hitting you for anything let alone little things. You need to get him to understand that.
If he continues hitting you, there's something seriously wrong with him and you should probably report it.
You love him though, so he must be doing something right for your family. Speak to both your parents about it and get him to stop. At your age he really shouldn't be hitting you for anything let alone little things. You need to get him to understand that.
If he continues hitting you, there's something seriously wrong with him and you should probably report it.
You've got to snap out of this fake sense of love created by your father's violence. Hitting your child- especially daughter- is anything but loving. Your mother is probably in a similar state- controlled by his violent behaviour and would rather accept it than attempt to oppose it.
If I was in your shoes, I would set up a hidden camera and record some examples of his violence. Show the police and have justice dealt for his disgusting actions.
If after considering mine and other peoples comments you still feel like you do not want any action to be taken against him, I hope that one day you get a decent enough boyfriend who will show you how a woman should actually be treated, and maybe even go some way to sorting your dad out.
You don't want to punish him because his violence has intimidated you to the point where you love him out of fear. Do not let him control you for much longer, no-one deserves such treatment.
If I was in your shoes, I would set up a hidden camera and record some examples of his violence. Show the police and have justice dealt for his disgusting actions.
If after considering mine and other peoples comments you still feel like you do not want any action to be taken against him, I hope that one day you get a decent enough boyfriend who will show you how a woman should actually be treated, and maybe even go some way to sorting your dad out.
You don't want to punish him because his violence has intimidated you to the point where you love him out of fear. Do not let him control you for much longer, no-one deserves such treatment.
If he's hitting you with the open hand on arms and legs that's not abuse, I don't think, but it is weird. I suspect he is hitting you with a closed fist which is ALWAYS abuse. The only form of strike which isn't abusive or weird is slapping on the arse which is usually only appropriate for children and pubescent teenagers.
I can see someone holding their child's head to force them to look into their eyes. This is understandable and acceptable for me, however shaking them by the head, or any other head-related force, is certainly abuse.
Manhandling, that is, throwing, holding, dragging and pushing, is much more difficult. Certainly parents should demonstrate their physical superiority if their kid gets lairy or won't move or whatever. However if this sort of thing is happening regularly and without provocation it is abuse.
I can see someone holding their child's head to force them to look into their eyes. This is understandable and acceptable for me, however shaking them by the head, or any other head-related force, is certainly abuse.
Manhandling, that is, throwing, holding, dragging and pushing, is much more difficult. Certainly parents should demonstrate their physical superiority if their kid gets lairy or won't move or whatever. However if this sort of thing is happening regularly and without provocation it is abuse.
Original post by purple-laugh
Hi, my name's Zoe, I'm 19, completing year 13, going to University in September, which will be very helpful with this problem. I don't want to bore you so I'll tell you in the simplest terms. My dad is uneducated and has used violence as a way to discipline me since I was about 3. He believes even now that I shouldn't ask questions or have a different opinion on a topic which is against his. I suppose it's unfortunate that I am passionate about Psychology and Philosophy. My mom is educated, yet believes that I should listen to him ''because he is my father''
At around age 12 I realised he shouldn't be doing it and rather studiedly asked him why he can't communicate like everyone else. He hit me. The same as before, hit my legs and my arms and then worked his way up to my head, off which recently he has started shaking. I believe its domestic abuse, not a form of discipline. He never apologises, but I have never got used to it.
I love him so much and wouldn’t want to ring the police or anything similar, although Samaritans seem very appealing.
If you have been in the same or similar situation, could you tell me how you got out of it, I've tried but its ends in the same way.
Sorry it was long, thank you for any advice.
At around age 12 I realised he shouldn't be doing it and rather studiedly asked him why he can't communicate like everyone else. He hit me. The same as before, hit my legs and my arms and then worked his way up to my head, off which recently he has started shaking. I believe its domestic abuse, not a form of discipline. He never apologises, but I have never got used to it.
I love him so much and wouldn’t want to ring the police or anything similar, although Samaritans seem very appealing.
If you have been in the same or similar situation, could you tell me how you got out of it, I've tried but its ends in the same way.
Sorry it was long, thank you for any advice.
Hello dear,
I actually understand where you're coming from. My Dad has hit me several time, punched me, and placed a heater on my head whilst hitting me but one day I called the police and it was the best decision and I don't regret it one day. You need to take control of your life, no one else will. He will never apologise, don't expect it. I bet looking back you can see many things that you havent done for your self and your message wasn't long and yet u are apologising. This abuse can cause you to have a timid personality which I sense already and that will not get you very far in life......Really I gotta run. I wish you all the best. If you want to know more about my experience or any advice on this issue, feel free to inbox me
Cheers
A x
Source: Experience
This definitely isn't right, OP. He may be your father, but that does not excuse his violent behaviour towards you, and you have absolutely no right to be put through this kind of abuse. I would go straight to the police if I were in your position or, alternatively, if you would not like to involve the authorities in this matter then you should definitely call the Samaritans. Just talk to somebody who can help, and don't suffer in silence. That's the worst possible thing to do.
Original post by Rancorous
Wah, wah you're moving out next year, and there are two sides to every story.
If he had abused you seriously, you would have come to terms with it by now (i.e moved out already, called the police, spoken to relatives etc0 and wouldn't be protesting about it age 19.
He's never right ever to hit you. But story is too suspicious especially on this forum where some of the most prissy kids in the country post.
It used to be pretty common for kids - including teenagers - to get spanked and disciplined. That's not encouraged nowadays at all. I think that's good. But it's not WW2 if a father disciplines his child physically when you're a teenager and living under his roof.
If he had abused you seriously, you would have come to terms with it by now (i.e moved out already, called the police, spoken to relatives etc0 and wouldn't be protesting about it age 19.
He's never right ever to hit you. But story is too suspicious especially on this forum where some of the most prissy kids in the country post.
It used to be pretty common for kids - including teenagers - to get spanked and disciplined. That's not encouraged nowadays at all. I think that's good. But it's not WW2 if a father disciplines his child physically when you're a teenager and living under his roof.
You are such an idiot just because you have never experienced this....
Take up Kung Fu at university, Wing Chun if you can.
If he comes at you again you can either block him effectively or put him down. Chances are though he'll just be able to tell the power has shifted from the look in your stance or just the look in your eyes and he won't even try it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wing_Chun
If he comes at you again you can either block him effectively or put him down. Chances are though he'll just be able to tell the power has shifted from the look in your stance or just the look in your eyes and he won't even try it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wing_Chun
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by miss_sexy
You are such an idiot just because you have never experienced this....
I have. I said it's not on. I also said she's 19, and once you get past 16-18, your parents have no obligation to pay your living expenses, to feed and house you. If you don't like it move out. You're old enough at a certain age to know what your parents are like. You only have yourself to blame if you continue to put up with it for years. You have enough independence at that age to move out (there are a number of ways of doing so), and/or avoid your father as much as possible whilst living with him so as to amount to never really seeing him. I'm also not dumb enough to believe this isn't a 'my dad's a jerk, make me feel better, sympathise with me, look at how calm and rational I am' thread. The OP is smart enough to realise what is and what is not domestic abuse, and what is and what is not acceptable. She doesn't need a forum of people who can't possibly know the situation to help her out. I also don't believe from the sounds of things that her parents really are that strict, and I have a feeling based off the things she's saying that that she thinks that she's a (pseudo) quasi-intellectual who is smarter than her dad. Often people who are abused feel dispossessed and worthless. Or are conditioned to believe outrageous things are reasonable. If this was a 14 year old and the abuse was serious I would be up in arms with everyone else.
(edited 12 years ago)
If you're not trolling then this probably counts as ABH which he could get a criminal record for, this is abuse. 
Related discussions
- Will i grow?
- My dad did this
- please give advice regarding parents.
- I hit my younger brother
- Warning-Abuse (this is just me talking about my *****y life today)
- How do I deal with my horrid parents?
- I'm 5'10.5 and 16. How tall will I be?
- My dad hit me
- I kinda want my mum to divorce my dad!
- I have a crush on my step brother
- Growth and height as a teen
- transferring to a new phone contract separate from my parents
- Is this a bad age gap?
- My Mum Doesn't Like My Bf
- Is this abusive? (parents)
- Does it matter what household I put on my student finance?
- Is there anyone ridiculously taller than their parents?
- what should i do?
- How to deal with a abusive father?
- Am I being a brat or is this abusive?
Latest
Last reply 4 minutes ago
JK Rowling in ‘arrest me’ challenge over hate crime lawLast reply 6 minutes ago
BSc Nutritional Sciences 2022 - Access course questionLast reply 6 minutes ago
Official University of Cambridge offer-holders thread for 2024 entryLast reply 8 minutes ago
Official UCL Offer Holders Thread for 2024 entryLast reply 9 minutes ago
Official Royal Veterinary College Applicant Thread for 2024Last reply 10 minutes ago
Edexcel A Level Mathematics Paper 1 (9MA0 01) - 4th June 2024 [Exam Chat]Last reply 14 minutes ago
CURRENT STUDENTS which residency halls are the best @ uni of southamptonPosted 15 minutes ago
shouldn't more and more young people be candidates in local elections now? becauseLast reply 16 minutes ago
I want to quit physio, maybe to start a career in ITLast reply 18 minutes ago
Official Dental Hygiene and Therapy (Oral Health Science) 2024 Entry ThreadDentistry
2873
Last reply 22 minutes ago
MA interdisciplinary futures the University of EdinburghTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory Work Experience - ACCOMODATION (harwell campus)Last reply 1 week ago
I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …Last reply 1 week ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Please help I accidentally ran a red and am terrifiedTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory Work Experience - ACCOMODATION (harwell campus)Last reply 1 week ago
I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …Last reply 1 week ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Please help I accidentally ran a red and am terrified
