Is it rape if he's my boyfriend

You were saying that not being pressured into sex was a bad thing. In reality nobody should be in a relationship with somebody who pressures them for sex.

I think that's the point. Nobody should be pressured into sex ever.

blahblahblah.

This is a thread about rape, not unhealthy relationships.

Getting into a bad mood because of a lack of sex is not rape.

Because rape and unhealthy relationships never occur together do they?

From the front page of TSR: http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/worried-about-abuse/view/rape-sexual-assult/consent

The OP herself thinks that it is rape. The one that has been through it thinks that she has been raped because she didn't give her consent but women-hating people like you are screaming at her to shut up because she's in a relationships and eventually submitted? You repulsive human being.

OP: ignore this bickering. If you need help then get it. You don't need anyone's permission to feel the way you are feeling and you deserve every bit of help that you get. Stay strong and get out, k?

Right, so I like having sex with my boyfriend.. nothing wrong with that (p.s yes this is a little crude I'm sorry)
But sometimes after the second time we've had sex, I don't want to anymore, purely because it hurts, so he will start fingering me.. and i'll say no, and then he accepts it, but then he starts again.. and this goes on and on, even though i'm saying no. Eventually i give in.. purely because he's in sucha bad mood and because I can't be bothered to fight anymore, I then end up being in pain for a few days because of it.. he say's sorry, but still? Is that rape..?

Are you retarded? Ofc they go together, doesn't mean they always do. Sometimes with you people...

Oh get a life and go back to marching or something. The OP doesn't think it's rape (this thread would be pointless if she did) and even if she did, it's not. Another person in a similar position posted in this thread that it's clearly not rape and some good advice.

This might be controversial once again to you feminazis, but at some point you just need to walk away. It's not rape if he asks you many times because he's not forcing you to stay with him. It's not rape if he tells you he'll love you if you do something because you don't need to love him. You guys are taking this "women have a right to not be forced into it regardless of the circumstances" way too far. Well not way too far, but you're distorting the "forced" aspect of it. If you don't want your boyfriend pestering you for sex, either dump him or talk to him instead of giving in and screaming rape.

Hi

Thanks for sharing this with us. What you are describing is rape. It doesn't matter if you wanted to at first, or if you 'give in'. If someone does something sexually to you that you do not want them to do, this is a crime. It does not matter if it is your boyfriend. And, no one should get in a bad mood because you don't want to have sex.

I am concerned that you are in pain. You could think about going to your local GUM clinic to get checked out or to a haven if you live in london. They can provide confidential medial and emotional support (www.thehavens.org.uk). You should never have to do anything that you don't want to in a relationship. I hope this helps, take care.

Jo

My gods if you talked like that in front of my face id beat the hell out of you. But then ive seen the damage abuse in relationships can do.

Read below and take note. Read the TSR front page and take note.

Then AVA doesn't have a clue even though they're supposed to be providing sound legal advice:

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Definitionofrape2.php

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/1

The definition according to those seems to only include penetration with the penis.

If they'd mentioned sexual assault it would give them an ounce of credibility.

btw have a look at sections 75 and 76 and tell me which parts of consent you think were violated in this case.

Then AVA doesn't have a clue even though they're supposed to be providing sound legal advice:

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Definitionofrape2.php

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/1

The definition according to those seems to only include penetration with the penis.

If they'd mentioned sexual assault it would give them an ounce of credibility.

btw have a look at sections 75 and 76 and tell me which parts of consent you think were violated in this case.

Even if those are the legal definitions of rape does that seem in any way reasonable to you? Those definitions are obviously naive. Do you really believe that only a male can commit rape? Do you really think it is reasonable to say that rape can only be committed if there is penetration by a penis? No. That is ridiculous. A more reasonable and widely accepted definition of rape is the forcing or coercing of sexual acts against one's will.

These seems to be the most reasonable definitions. Both of which apply to this situation. -
The United Nations defines it as "sexual intercourse without valid consent," and the World Health Organization defined it in 2002 as "physically forced or otherwise coerced penetration – even if slight – of the vulva or anus, using a penis, other body parts or an object".

Then AVA doesn't have a clue even though they're supposed to be providing sound legal advice:

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Definitionofrape2.php

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/1

The definition according to those seems to only include penetration with the penis.

If they'd mentioned sexual assault it would give them an ounce of credibility.

btw have a look at sections 75 and 76 and tell me which parts of consent you think were violated in this case.

I am sorry you feel that way. You are right in that this was sexual assault but it is also rape as he carried on having sex with her against her will. It may have started as sexual assault as he was penetrating her with his fingers but she was clearly saying no and he carried on. Even though she 'gave in' she made it very clear that she was not happy and did not want to have sex, and he continued to have sex with her - this is penetration therefore it is rape.

But, she did consent in the end.

I'm confused. How the hell is something rape if she consented in the end?

That's not what I was saying at all. I was implying that she wouldn't need to worry about being under any pressure because no-one would wanna have sex with her.

That's not what I was saying at all. I was implying that she wouldn't need to worry about being under any pressure because no-one would wanna have sex with her.

I would re-engage with Teenage Pirate but I feel it's pretty pointless (as apparently I'm a 'ridiculous feminazi') and Jo is doing a great job.



And the point of being rude was?

FYI, I have a very active sex life. And (shock!) it's all consensual. Zomg. How could a munter like me manage that? Perhaps it's because I give an epic blowjob.

I don't even shave my pits =O

I know you must smell cause of it right ? the pits I mean