He always wanted sex now he doesnt even come near me? why?

Im very very confused, i've been with my boyfriend for 4/5 months at first I refused to have sex with him till we were in a proper relationship, but he was always trying it on trying to get me to do things in a jokey way. Then we started seeing each other and he would want to and try to sleep with me every time we saw each other, however over the past month he has become very distant, he never texts me when he always use to, when I talk to him he never answers and claims he didnt hear what I said, he never kisses me sometimes we go on dates and have no contact which is fine but it got to the stage that I felt very ugly and unwanted as he wouldnt do anything.

I then inititiated something with him for the first time thinking it would spur him into doing something just to see if he still liked me instead he took but never gave if that makes sense. Im feeling **** about it I feel as if he is repulsed or something by me I do not understand why he is not interested in me anylonger any ideas?

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Reply 1

InsideMyBrain

No offence but he seems like a complete ****. I think he may have only wanted sex and when you didn't put out he gave up on you. Doesn't sound like a very nice person, my advice is to dump him and find someone that appreciates you for you and not your body.

Reply 2

username391622

Doesn't sound like he likes you very much.
Ask him what's going on.

Reply 3

CaligulazBaby

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 4

doobucks

Original post by CaligulazBaby

Quite simply you made him wait too long for sex and now he's not interested in you anymore. Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved. What you've said about repulsion is how he felt for the time you guys weren't doing anything. Tbh he must have liked you a lot to wait 4/5 months.

This basically.

Reply 5

Stevo112

you've probably hurt the bloke by refusing sex for so long.

Chances are he was really into you, but sex is healthy for any relationship because it develops emotional bonds and brings people closer. Plus, guys feel attractive when they shag a girl. So yea, you pretty much rejected him and now it is his turn to reject you :redface:

Chalk it up to experience, and possibly consider why you held out for so long! My personal preference would be 1/2 months max because any longer and i'd start to worry that my girlfriend was not attracted to me. This guy was a pretty good guy if he held out for 5 months!!! Trust me!

Reply 6

o Rebecca o

He only wants sex. He isn't getting any, so now he is bored of you.

Sorry, but this relationship is doomed. Find someone who actually wants to be with you.

Reply 7

CaligulazBaby

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8

o Rebecca o

Original post by CaligulazBaby

He didn't ONLY want sex. No guy hangs around a girl for 5 months if he ONLY wants sex. He liked her a lot. But yes I agree you should find someone who actually wants to be with you now.

But even your first post in this thread says, "Quite simply you made him wait too long for sex and now he's not interested in you anymore". It's the same as my point. He just wanted sex.

I had a guy who I was on/off with for 6 months and all he ever wanted was sex. Even on the first day that we got together he brought up the topic of sex. Huge sign that sex is his only concern. After a few months of us arguing about sex (which he ALWAYS mentioned) I had enough and told him I don't want to be with him. His reaction was quite simply: "Fine, I can go and get it somewhere else" ("it" referring to sex).

This guy has been with the OP for 5 months because he probably spent everyday thinking "she'll give in soon". And seeing that it's been 5 months and he still hasn't gotten anywhere, he has developed a "Why bother?" attitude.

Reply 9

Ortegas

Here is something that you girls should push it into your brains, so that next time you don't blame a bloke for not being persistent.

For a guy: SEX first, COMMITMENT later.

You wana keep him as your boyfriend, suck him until he comes, be wild in bed and make him want you though sex.

And stop annoying guys about the idea of: Personality vs Body/Sex. No guys in the world, with his full self-respect, can comprehend a separation of those two things. Immature girls always want to hold it back to lure guys into relationship, which is her term. That is not fair, uncool.

For guys: When a girl refuses to give you sex, DROP her immediately. These chicks aren't cool to be with, and when you come to bed with her, I swear to you that it's like having sex with your little sister. Nothing new, nothing fun, nothing exciting to wait for. Go for another girl who truly appreciates you as a man.

These kind of chics never understand the difference between a sexual and platonic relationship, they will squeeze you your time, your investment for NOTHING in return. Remember that it's you who GIVE her sex, not the other ways around. Only with your dicks that girls can achieve what a woman wants to achieve. And the more power you have, the more kinky you become about what type of broads you want in your life.

My suggestion: Go on 3 dates, don't talk about sex. Assuming that it's gonna happen, be fun, be flirty, be very sexual by using sexual innuendos and touches. If she ever refuses you, ever, step back one step, then relaunch your attempt. By the 3 date, nothing happens? Enough, move to the next girl.

Ideally, you should meet and schedule at least 3-5 girls so that you have a wider options when one fail your test.
Guys, don't even text or call her, no "hi" or "hello" AT ALL.

Remember: Your attraction has an expiry date, a girl you meet isn't the only pussy the world that ever exists. There are plenty who will be happy to please you guys.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 10

CaligulazBaby

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 11

o Rebecca o

Original post by CaligulazBaby

Very negative attitude for you to have. You've never met the OP's bf and to assume this is a direct result of another completely different guy giving up on you after 6 months.

"Quite simply you made him wait too long for sex and now he's not interested in you anymore"

Also quite negative.

Implying the OP's boyfriend is only interested in her body and not her personality.

You can't criticize my post for making assumptions about someone's BF if you're doing the same.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 12

Ortegas

Original post by CaligulazBaby

Very negative attitude for you to have. You've never met the OP's bf and to assume this is a direct result of another completely different guy giving up on you after 6 months.

It's called ungrateful, a common disease when you give a broad too much attention for FREE. He hung out with this chic for 5 MONTHS, doing all the lovey-dovey things to please her, and now she turned her back on him and said he only wanted sex. ****ing stupid, if it's not sex that he wants, then what is it? You tell me what is it?

That's why I told you, move things faster, avoid all those boyfriends' behaviour, just push forward towards your end-goal to see how things go. Chicks who truly appreciate and dig you as a guy will want to have sex with you, because that's the glue to connect you two together. Those who hold them back, play hard to get aren't just that impressive at all, and you should never give a **** about their existence.

Reply 13

CaligulazBaby

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 14

Ortegas

There is no points to argue with that broad, I bet she is just a young chick with a ****ing scumbag self-entitlement. When you see chicks like this, never even say Hi to them. Develop your radar to run away from them as fast as you can.

Reply 15

Serentonin

I do have to agree with the guys in this thread. He did everything right for 5 months and you gave nothing in return so he's got fed up and gone to find someone better :/ sorry.

While I don't agree with a certain amount of dates etc, I slept with my bf after 2 weeks, and we've been together nearly 2 and a half years now.

Reply 16

S-man10

Original post by o Rebecca o

I don't think so. He "waited" a bit (5 months!) but then lost interest because he wanted a sexual relationship. Were it for "just" sex, he would have shrugged his shoulders after a week or two and move on.

Reply 17

Zangoose

I waited for a year... But I was a virgin so I suppose I didn't feel like I was "missing out" on anything. That's a factor to take into consideration.
I always wonder if I would have been that patient if I wasn't a virgin. I like to think I would have, because I'm not all about the sex, but who knows? Sex is like a drug and if he was used to getting some in a previous relationship, he is obviously having withdrawal symptoms.

OP, I don' think there's a problem with the relationship itself or the people in it. It's just a clash of experiences and ideology.

Reply 18

Stevo112

Original post by o Rebecca o

I think most/all guys need sex at some point in a relationship.

More so at the start, given we are technically young, healthy and expressive. I do not see anything inherently wrong with a guy wanting sex for the pure reason that he wants to share a lovely experience with someone whom he respects.

At least that is how I approach sex. You don't sound like a very nice girl to be with, and I feel that you have some barriers set up which severely hinders any guy's approach. Not every guy just wants to use you for sex, but almost every guy wants to ravish their girlfriend and share something special with them.

And from the evidence I have of the bloke mentioned by OP, I feel sorry in a way because he has held out for a whopping 5 months!!! For a young, healthy and horny male that is a good result! I could barely scrape 2 months because i'm a 24 year old mature bloke who is comfortable with my own body and whom is extremely open and honest with girls. Personally, I think you and OP have some sort of issue to deal with because you do genuinely seem to be scared of getting intimate with boyfriends

Reply 19

Care-Free

Original post by Ortegas

It's not playing hard to get at all! it's making sure that someone isn't just going to use us for a quick shag then throw us in the gutter when they're done! it's making sure we can connect on other levels before becoming intimate and then regretting it. Believe it or not some girls have a sense of decency and dont just open their legs for every tom dick and harry that comes by.
Every single one of my sexual partners have been willing to wait until i was ready and anyone that wasnt willing to wait was out on their arse in a matter of seconds.

OP well done for waiting, if it was too much for him then he's not the kind of guy you want to be having sex with. On the other hand, maybe talk to him about it, there may have been a misunderstanding or the spark may have simply fizzled out.