He always wanted sex now he doesnt even come near me? why?

But you have to make a girl want to have sex with you...if i didnt get love and attention from my boyfriend i wouldn't want to be with him at all let alone sleep with it, if i didn't treat him with equal respect and love he wouldnt be with me either.

You idea that all girls are hypocrites and crave 100% attention is flawed.

The idea that all men will get laid if they're polite but not kind is also flawed.

Me and my partner havent engaged in a single one of your "get laid quick" schemes and we have a wonderful relationship and we have a wonderful sex life because we waited..

Also your idea that a relationship is essentially sex in return for attention is flawed.

Your idea that removal of attention is a good punishment, flawed.

Do you know anything about a healthy relationship?

what happened to sitting down and talking to each other?

What happened to reaching a mutual understanding?

what happened to being so in love with someone that the sex can wait without there being someone else on the side.

Alright, then I guess you shouldn't have any problem if any of them is out shagging another chick while waiting for you. That's okay I guess. If you don't push guys into the monogamous zone then I am fine.

Just understand this clearly: Until sex happens, we are nothing but platonic friends, and you have no ****ing right to get jealous or force a guy to stay "loyal" to you. Indeed, that's how it is. We can give you time to warm up and get ready, meanwhile, we gonna find some other girls who are ready for some actions, got it?

I can understand the slut label, which is just societal bull****, but I don't know why you regret. If you ever regret for having sex with your partners, then don't. It is an insult to a man's face to say it is my regret to ever have sex with you. What do you think we guys are?

There is a difference between waiting for you to warm up and waiting for you while you string us along with a hidden agenda and do not appreciate our efforts, just like Rebecca here shows us. 5 months without sex and yet the OP still complains, what do you think about it? It's plainly wrong and the guy has all the right to walk away to find someone else, which I think he should do this earlier, maximum 2 weeks to 1 month.

I am not god, I am a man who act consistently to his natural instinct. I can be persistent if necessary but there is an expiry date for attraction, and you should know this as well. Sex is not simply intimate, it's about the tension that makes you want to blow your mind. By the 5 months after all the craps, what do you expect, some missionary positions and then turn to one side and sleep?

It is indeed a divine right for a man to have a want to have sex with a woman. If a woman uses sex as a weapon to manipulate him into things that he is not ready and is not looking for at the moment, he has the right to chuck her aside and find someone else who appreciates him more.

That surely doesn't apply to me, there is a name for a girl who constantly strings guy along just for fun and for her attention need, it's called a stuck-up bitch, got it?

..really? So if you're interested in a girl, she's interested in you and you want a relationship, but she doesn't want to jump into bed with you immediately, then it's okay for you to go sleeping around until she comes around? That's only really okay if you both agree, otherwise you're just being a dick.

It may not be for you, but sex can be a big thing for a lot of people. They may want to get to know the person before sleeping with them. If you don't want to be involved with people who have these beliefs, that's fine. Just don't try anything with them.

I regret my first time, and seeing as my and that particular girl aren't on good terms anyway I have no problem saying it. It's not just girls that can have these regrets. And guess what? I went into my first time not thinking I'd regret it. Regrets often happen retrospectively. It shouldn't take me to tell you this.

A hidden agenda? Either you've had some really bad experiences or are just acting really misogynistic. IT'S PREFECTLY OKAY TO WANT TO WAIT TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE YOU SLEEP WITH THEM. And like I said, if you don't want to do this, that's fine, but don't expect everyone to. You're moralising your own views, ones that not everyone shares, for no aparent reason.

I don't know what you're getting at here.

A divine right? And yes, if two people disagree on what role sexual intimacy has in a relationship then yes, they have precisely the right to walk away. What I don't understand is this moralising of it, where you think 'manipulation' is.

Everything you've argued for doesn't match this description.

The most pussy **** I have ever heard! You are the man of your life, you even have to ask a chick for doing something you want? **** that! You hear me, **** that!

It's totally okay to sleep with any chick I want, if she wants to join, great, if not, she can go away, no one forces her to have sex with me.

A lot of chicks just say those things, and then go using me for sex when they broke up. Sex is not a BIG THING, it's just your mind that gives it more value than it should be. Sex is an essential part of life, just like water, food and air. If you take it as something you can have on time, you WILL have it. The only reason you don't have enough is you haven't moved your ass for it.

Sorry dude, I lost my virginity to a chick older than me, never regret. She was incredible.

Look at it this way, if you want to ****, get in, slide it in, if you don't, eject and go away. In the past, you have wished to just lose your V Card, now you turn around and complain about bad first sex? For girls, I can understand, but for guys, wtf?

Yeah, if you have time, if you have limited number of girls who want you, wait for it, wait for your PERFECT WOMAN. To me, she means not much until she sleeps with me and becomes officially a part of my life.

A hidden agenda is when a chick gives you nothing, yet expect free commitment and attention. If you are giving all these to her just to expect sex, you are dumbest person I have ever seen.

If you have enough experience with women, you will notice that having sex as soon as possible (means the girls are totally horny and just want to **** your brain out), it is always much better than longing for sex after 5 months, just to realise some missionary positions and that feels good.

When you are starving, even a piece of Mc Donalds pizza is good. But when you are just hungry, and you have plenty of food in your fridge, you can have a table that Richard The Lionheart had.

What do you think we have a dick for? To play console?
I don't moralise, I remind you what is best to do in order to avoid all these wasteful attempts at just ONE CHICK, got it?

Care to explain?

Wow, what a man you are

And ensuring she consents to sex (there's not a lot else we could mean by asking, implicitly or explicitly)? Doesn't exactly sound bad to me. This bit has overtones of rape, must be said. I know you don't mean it to be, but just watch how you word things.

Sex may not be that big a thing to you, but to others it is. I find it really difficult to see why this is so hard to comprehend. Sex to you can be a purely physical, enjoyable act. That's fine. I'd actually argue against anyone who thought you were being immoral or any other rubbish because of that. But some people enjoy an emotional side to sex, sharing this intimate experience with a person you really care about. Also, asexuals may never have a sexual experience in their lives and still be fine. In fact, many enjoy romantic relationships without sexual acts being involved at all.

Again, like you and I have both said, if you don't want to put time and effort into girls like that, then that's fine. What I don't understand is you getting so worked up about this and throwing insults at people who do this.

Maybe because throughout the relationship I was being used as a rebound for this girl who was still getting over one of my acquaintances? There can be an emotional side to sex, y'know. I really find it hard to believe you struggle to understand this. It's not just concerning the physical act, it's the whole passage. I know lots of other guys who regret their first times too.

And since you've acknowledged that girls can regret bad sex, does it not become even the slightest bit clearer as to why some may prefer to wait to help build the bond with someone before they leap into bed? I did this in my current relationship and, hell, I'm not a woman. In fact, it may have made the current sex we have better.

So girls you're interested in don't become part of your life at all unless you have sex with them? Bet they're glad to hear they're seen as nothing but sex objects to you.

And you're being really ridiculous to assume that if a girl wants a relationship with you but doesn't instantly want to sleep with you. In my current relationship I didn't want to pressure my girlfriend into anything she didn't want to do because, shock horror, I see her as more than a sex object. We have a great sex life, yes, but I see much more in her than just something to get my end away.

The bolded makes this seem like a pathetic brag.

Wow, well done for having a great sex life. Does it not occur to you that other people have different sex drives and attitudes towards it?

I don't feel the need to respond to this.

And like I said, well done for you if you don't want to do that. However, some people may see more in others than just an object for sex. They might like to get in a relationship and if the sex comes later, so be it. I don't see what's so outrageous about this.

Also, asexuals may never have a sexual experience in their lives and still be fine. In fact, many enjoy romantic relationships without sexual acts being involved at all.

And since you've acknowledged that girls can regret bad sex, does it not become even the slightest bit clearer as to why some may prefer to wait to help build the bond with someone before they leap into bed? I did this in my current relationship and, hell, I'm not a woman. In fact, it may have made the current sex we have better.

Like I've said, women aren't manipulating you for simply not jumping into bed with you. All your post has been misogynistic rubbish that shows you think of girls who you're interested in as nothing but sex objects and that you have a complete inability to put yourself in the shoes of others.

No, my experience tells me that moving faster, more sexual and less romantic in a traditional way actually sets the frame of your relationship first as sexual frame. Since pace creates tension and is hard to anticipate, females usually responds to this with great enthusiasm.

In case you don't even know, read "The Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday. Your knowledge about the opposite sex needs a big leap forward before you can start thinking of having a serious relationship.

You are not purely her boyfriend, not yet, you are a blank canvas where they can project their wildest dream and fantasy into without being afraid of being judged as a slut.

This is not manipulation, this is purely biological function, since females need to be led.

By being so passive and indecisive in terms of pursuing for a sexual goal, you surrender your power to your female, thus killing the sexual attraction that will be the key to give her great sex and relationship.

This is their biological function, it has quite little to do with loyalty, but a lot with child-bearing and child-caring. It's always her interest to nail you down and secure you as a good father so that she can have her child. Nature of course doesn't know condoms and shooting cums outside.

I do, yet in this thread I only want to remind you that pushing things forward is going to help you both choosing the right partner, and securing your future relationship. And let me tell you that most people don't even have a clue about mating process.

Let me tell you this:
Woman: Relationship then sex
Man: Sex then relationship

If you don't function based on your biological instinct, you reduce drastically the attraction that females have for you.

Ok now I'm completely and totally confused. You agreed not to have sex until you were in a proper relationship...which came for you after 2 months...then what? You changed your mind about the sex? About the proper relationship? You said you were with him 4/5 months before he'd started acting strange? And he'd been acting strange for a month or so?
.

I am the OP, I dont think I made myself clear I slept with him after 2 months ( so YES i made him wait because for me sex must be with somebody I trust) but im not some evil women who witholds sex.

However I do not understand how you can argue that becuase I witheld giving in MY body I am some sort of **** girlfriend not worth his time, sex is part of a relationship it is not the basis of a realtionhip if i wanted to wait for sex he either accepts it or leaves he accetapted it and waited.


Thankyou very much to the people who supported my view, I dont think there is anything wrong with waiting granted some men cant wait so why not leave and go find somebody who will drop their knickers straight away?

However, in my experience any guy who has tried to move things from more sexual and less romantic actually has done the opposite of what you have just said. Whenever a guy has attempted this on me I've been pushed to feel unattratced to them. All the guys I've ever had proper attraction for started off as friends, why? Well, because I got to know them first and then started to feel more attracted to them, unlike the guys who make more sexual moves at me who I feel less attracted to.

Unfortunatly for you, us girls are not all the same. Stop generalising us, what one girl does another will not, what one girl thinks another will disagee with, we also like different things. Same with guys.
Understanding the opposite sex by reading a book is stupid, because they usually completley ignore individual preferences, espcially for those who have been socialised in different ways and have grown up with different environments too.

Also, for your record, I have never felt that way in a relationship, so this shows enough that we're all different and you're making wrong assumptions about us. If I wanted to act like a 'slut' I would without being in a relationship, I don't care about labels and could find someone without being in a relationship if I wanted to. I act sexual in a relationship because I want to be intimate with that person and share it with them, but for me its only one aspect of that relationship. If I only wanted sex and to release my sexual desires, I'd just go and flirt with a random guy and try and pick someone up.

No one is ever leading me and it doesn't feel natural. Plenty of women are strong and independant. How women act is based on socialization, not on instinct, if a girl is bought up in a setting where she is taught to be lead by a man she will be, if she's bought up in a setting where all the women are independant around her and taught that she doesn't need a man and she has rights of her own, she won't feel the need to be led.

If not, I must be an abonination to the human race as I feel no such biological instincts or functions....

Some men are highly sexually attracted to surrendering power to the female and being the passive one and some females like being the powerful dominant one, the lead in the relationship. In this case its not killing the sexual attraction at all, its building on it and giving them great sex.

Once again, I must be a 'freak' of nature, cause I have no such instincts. I have no interest in child bearing and neither do I have any motherly instincts. I look for a man based on who will make ME feel good and who I care about, not based on who will be a good father.

I think you seem to feel like we still haven't evolved from monkeys. Humans are biologically and socially evolving all the time, no longer is the mating process so simple or do people get together for the same reasons. Not all couples ever choose to have children anyway, not all women choose relationships over sex first and not all men choose sex over relationships first. Also, about lesbians and gay men? They get into relationships too, but its not as simple as man gets with women. Same applies to asexuals, they might have no interest in sex, but they still have emotional attachement, so not all people have those insitincts.

Also, if a guy doesn't function based on this so called instinct of sex first, then relationship after, it would do the opposite of what you claim, it actually makes them more attractive to me.

X

My god you're impossible, We're just not going to agree here.

Long story short, there's nothing wrong with asking a man to wait until we're comfortable.

There is something wrong with the man agreeing and then punishing us for it.

I am the OP, I dont think I made myself clear I slept with him after 2 months ( so YES i made him wait because for me sex must be with somebody I trust) but im not some evil women who witholds sex.

However I do not understand how you can argue that becuase I witheld giving in MY body I am some sort of **** girlfriend not worth his time, sex is part of a relationship it is not the basis of a realtionhip if i wanted to wait for sex he either accepts it or leaves he accetapted it and waited.


Thankyou very much to the people who supported my view, I dont think there is anything wrong with waiting granted some men cant wait so why not leave and go find somebody who will drop their knickers straight away?

Then there is nothing with a man to wait for it while getting it from the side.

End of the story!

Coercing your partner into giving you relationship while there is no sex, at the same time try to prevent him from meeting other women is just unfair.

What happens if one of these friends, whom you already have sufficient attraction, advance sexually to you?

By saying moving things more sexual and faster, I don't mean to skip the attraction. Yes, sometimes, a girl will be attracted to you fast and hard, sometimes, it takes time for her to be attracted to you. The point is, when you have perceived she is already attracted to you, PUSH FORWARD.

It's your comment that is stupid. Have you READ THE BOOK? Read it then comment. The book has a sequel, read carefully and find in their if there are fantasies you also have. It's a document of different women who express their deepest wish yet do not dare to tell their boyfriends or lovers because of fear.

Girls should learn to shut up when they haven't read the book.

No, I am not just saying all this from a book, that's from my experience.

So there you go. The bold statement shows you that you can act "slutty" to someone who is not in a relationship with, but you can't to a boyfriend? Why can't you act "slutty" to your boyfriend? You are afraid of losing him, that he thinks you are a slut therefore abandon the relationship with you?

Do you know how it feels when a girlfriend can have wild sex with a stranger yet hold this off to her boyfriend. If that's the case then one must wonder is there any way to have both wild sex like with a stranger and have the intimacy of someone in relationship.

I will give you an example to show what does it mean by leading?
You sitting across a coffee shop, your eyes are running across different pages from a magazine. Suddenly, a guy step in. There is something about this guy that you don't know, but you like his look, or you just like his eyes. He turns around and catch you look at him, you look downward.

He understands, he buy his coffee and go to you and just say "Hi", you guys have a conversation and he later asks you your phone number and ask for a date.

Now, that's leading. The man knows the woman likes him somehow, so he leads her. If you say you don't like to be led, perhaps you will be the one who just step ahead right into his face and ask him for a phone number and ask him for a date yourself.

Do you understand it now?

All of these processes are unconcious. You don't THINK, you act. It's like hunger and thirst, they happen, you just act upon it, that's all.

Stop derailing the thread, we don't talk about lesbians, we don't talk about asexuals. We are talking about normal males and females.

I doubt that you even meet this kind of guy ever in your life, following your description.

Epic multi-quote essays posts