Do I have a moral responsibility to not sleep with guys who are taken?

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In the wait for an relationship, should I sit home and never sleep with anyone? I'm not choosing him instead of a proper relationship, I am choosing him instead of not getting laid!

And apparently there is something wrong with my confidence because I enjoy the company of a gorgeous man who showers me with love and tells me how beautiful and amazing I am, how impressed he is with me and that he thinks I have potential to change the world.

He's lying sweetheart, married men lie to naive little girls in order to get laid.

He is married, he has spent time and money purely to share his whole life with one woman, he goes home to her every night and showers her with love and affection, tell her that she is the only woman for him and that she has the potential to change the world, that she is beautiful and she is amazing and he doesnt give you a second thought because he has married a woman who wouldn't lower herself to become second best.
She got him to tie the knot because she had the decency and self repect to settle for nothing less than being number 1.

but you? you happily jumped into bed with an unavailable man because he paid you a compliment, do you think that means anything to him? He's probably got plenty of 'other women' and you're just one of them.

You're just there for him to blow off steam, he'll go to you to get rid of his stress because it means he's relaxed and happy when he goes home to the devoted woman that waits for him so patiently.

To him you're nothing more than a quick shag, a silly little girl for him to throw away when he gets bored. And he will get bored, just like hes gotten bored of his wife.

He's dirty, cheating, lying scum and the sooner you realise that the sooner you can demand some respect and show him that he can keep his dirty paws to himself.

Reply 21

username391622

Original post by Anonymous

Well, when he's with her and the conception she has of him. I think he makes her very happy.

Why does one relationship with one person has to be defined by all other relationships one has with other people?

Have you never heard of monogamy?

Reply 22

strawberry

whatever Care-Free has said. I couldn't have said it any better.
All married men who tell their just-a-shags the stuff that your married man has told you (his just-a-shag) ... they're all. ALL. Liars.

Reply 23

dgeorge

Original post by Anonymous

In short no, I personally don't believe that you have a moral responsibility. YOU are not doing anything wrong

Reply 24

username677182

Why don't you find your own man instead of being a slutty home wrecker? :nothing:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 25

Schroedinger's Pandora

It would give me the greatest pleasure to repeatedly slam OP's face into a brick wall.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 26

Dr Good Manners

You're a ho and he's a slimy little cretin, so I think you're a good match in that respect. Also please tell the wife and tell what happens here please.

Thank you :colone:

Reply 27

whizz-kid

i can't believe what anon 1 is saying this breaks my heart- it really does. :frown:

Reply 28

CogitoErgoSum

Original post by Anonymous

I just don't see why he isn't guilty if he would try really hard to get me into bed but fail to do so. How is that not betrayal? Why is it so important to their relationship what I do? His desires are the same, his choices are the same.

First time I met him I rejected him because he was married - I figured he would regret it later. Next time I saw him he was behaving the same way, obviously still determined to get me into bed and obviously wasn't acting on impulse of the moment, he had thought it true.

And I am not destroying this woman's life. First of all, I am not the only one he has been with and it's not like this started because we fell in love or anything like that. She won't be able to find out about me either. He just wants to sleep around and we enjoy each others company. They probably do have a happy marriage - he is a sweetheart to me, so he probably is to her as well! I bet he treats her like a princess. Now what's so wrong with that?

He is just as guilty... But he's not posting on a forum asking whether his actions are ok or not, YOU are. He is more guilty than you because he is married.

What kind of logic do you use? He's CHEATING on her with several women, yet he must be "treating her like a princess" how can you know that?
He's just treating you well because youre ****ing him, lady.

I said *potentially* destroying her life. You are complicit in his cheating. It doesn't matter what other people are doing- because you are asking us about YOUR moral responsibilities. Why are you even on here asking this question if you think that as long as hes ****ing lots of women its ok for you to keep sleeping with him?

Reply 29

Sean1862

He is certainly doing more wrong than you, but it just sounds like he's using you for sex. If you're OK with all that, fine - assuming you can deal with the consequences (lord knows what I'd do to a guy sleeping with my gf behind my back). Does he know that she's probably doing the exact same thing behind his back?

Reply 30

sophisticated

Original post by Anonymous

You sound like a moron.

Also, why are you on here asking us this question, when you've clearly already made your mind up that what you're doing is perfectly fine?

Reply 31

sophisticated

Original post by Schroedinger's Pandora

It would give me the greatest pleasure to repeatedly slam OP's face into a brick wall.

Can I help? :biggrin:

Reply 32

QwentyJ

OP, what did you expect us to say? Things would be different in he was in an open relationship, but the simple fact is that he's probably you. Maybe it's me, but it would appear that common sense is not hard to see here. The guy is using you. As soon as he's bored or in trouble, he'll drop you faster than a Mafioso drops a target. You've been cheated on before, so you know how that feels. Imagine how his wife would feel. If you can't relate and don't want to change, then I have nothing but the utmost disrespect for you.

Reply 33

Goody2Shoes-x

Yes, you have a moral duty to not sleep with someone else's husband.

Aside from the pure immorality of it, if it got out (and these things sometimes do) have you considered what it will do to your reputation?

Stop sleeping with this guy.

Reply 34

Tw1x

Yes it's wrong. If you found out your sister/best friends boyfriend was shagging around, you'd hate the woman it was with, right? Same thing. He's to blame more, definitely, but you are destroying another womans life knowingly. How can you live with yourself? If/when (it usually comes out in the end) she'll be heartbroken, never trust anybody again and her self esteem will be in tatters. You can take 2nd place trophy for being responsible for doing that to an innocent person.

Reply 35

Tw1x

Original post by Anonymous

I have been cheated on before - the girl told me and I cried for weeks. I would have been better off without knowing.

However... You're saying that I should, for the sake of women everywhere (or maybe for the sake of a woman I don't know anything about and haven't met), give up my own happiness and turn down a really attractive man? What for? If all women go together on this, finally the whole world will turn him down and he will learn a lesson? Or what?

Better off being constantly taken for a mug, with alot of people both feeling sorry for you and lying behind your back to you? I think not. I've been there and, even though it was the most humilating moment of my life, I'm glad I found out.

You do know something - you know she's happy being married to this guy. Why would you deliberately go out of your way to damage this, especially when there is so many hot single guys out there.

I hope this happens to you, I really do. Then we'll see where you stand regarding his bit on the side's "Why is it so important to their relationship what I do?" speech. See if that really makes everything ok with you. See if him treating you like a princess to your face whilst shagging someone behind your back really matters to you.

Reply 36

Studentus-anonymous

The law has terms such as accomplice and accessory for a reason.

Morally speaking you're guilty for aiding and abetting his infidelity.

But since you don't care, carry on?

Reply 37

Schmokie Dragon

It doesn't matter how good the sex is and how nice he is to you. You are willingly assisting someone in betraying someone else. If you can't see how that is wrong I feel rather sorry for you.

I assume that you're OK with someone else doing this to you?

I've been involved with people behind their partners' backs before, but I didn't have the arrogance to consider myself without fault. I knew I was doing something very unfair and made peace with that.

Reply 38

masterfulprof

Original post by Schmokie Dragon

Everyone has to find their own resolution to this. Appealing to internet board juries is not likely to generate such a resolution.

SD is right, lots of people do this. The circumstances may or may not be complex - sometimes, it's simple black/white, sometimes not, and the shades of grey are very hard to discern.

But whatever you do, take responsibility for it. Nobody else can shoulder that burden.

Reply 39

Anonymous #1

I've heard about it and I was hoping someone who is pro-monogamy would calmly explain why they feel the way they do. You know, without insulting me and talking about slamming my head into a brick wall.