My parents never let me leave the house (I'm 18)

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
My parents hardly ever let me leave the house. I'm not allowed to sleep over at friends houses and on the occasions that I am let out, I need to be home by either 8 or 10 depending on what mood my parents are in. (I have never been and can't really go to a house party/clubbing/for a night out).

I am 18 and about to go to uni. I feel that this stops me being 'normal'/having a social life.

I don't understand why my parents micromanage me so much; I am not and never have been a troublesome kid -I am a Cambridge offer holder and I didn't get it because I'm smart, I got it because I have always been a very hard worker.

tl,dr: What can I do about having parents that pretty much never let me leave the house unless I'm going to school.
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Besakt
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#2
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Are you Asian?

Copy a key, and do as you please.
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Drunk Punx
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#3
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How unfortunate.

My remedy is thus:
Leave the house.
Come back when you're ready.
Tell your parents to talk to Common Sense when they him.
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Hollie21
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Will you be staying in halls at uni?
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Rascacielos
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#5
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Tricky one. Talk to them about it.

I would say "you're 18, you're entitled to do as your please" as I expect most people on here would say. That's all well and good but presumably you're not ready to leave home completely yet (i.e. I expect you plan on returning during the holidays) so to an extent it's true that what your parents say goes.

That said, it is unreasonable in my opinion for them to restrict your social life so much. It almost sounds like they don't trust you so talk to them about that. Of course if you've given them a reason to not trust you, then I respect entirely their point, but if you haven't, I think it's about time they were a bit more lenient. So, like I said, talk to them about it (and by that I don't mean just scream about them about how totally unfair they are being because that won't win you brownie points!).
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Lumos
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#6
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#6
do they say why you can't go out?
they good news is, you can do what the hell you want at university. actually, you can do what the hell you want now. what's stopping you?

put some drunken photos on facebook and tag them in them for good measure.
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SophiaKeuning
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(Original post by Drunk Punx)
How unfortunate.

My remedy is thus:
Leave the house.
Come back when you're ready.
Tell your parents to talk to Common Sense when they him.
I don't think he'll ever pay them a visit.

Regardless, you should follow this advise OP. Be sure to be mature about it, prove to then they have no need to worry. You're a free spirit baby.
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+ polarity -
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#8
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#8
My parents were a bit like that while I was in school, that **** was crazy
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daviesblue
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#9
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First of all, depends if your moving out once you go to Uni, if so then its just a waiting game, once there you can go wild.
If not, then you just need to grow a backbone and start doing what you please. Be sensible about it still, so that your not taking the piss, but enough so that they can see you cant be controlled.
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Venomilys
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#10
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(Original post by Rascacielos)
I would say "you're 18, you're entitled to do as your please"
I wish that worked in Asian cultures.
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Zamolxes
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents hardly ever let me leave the house. I'm not allowed to sleep over at friends houses and on the occasions that I am let out, I need to be home by either 8 or 10 depending on what mood my parents are in. (I have never been and can't really go to a house party/clubbing/for a night out).

I am 18 and about to go to uni. I feel that this stops me being 'normal'/having a social life.

I don't understand why my parents micromanage me so much; I am not and never have been a troublesome kid -I am a Cambridge offer holder and I didn't get it because I'm smart, I got it because I have always been a very hard worker.

tl,dr: What can I do about having parents that pretty much never let me leave the house unless I'm going to school.
If you're going to cambridge then this won't be a problem anymore as you're required to live within the college you picked. Thus your parents can **** off and leave you alone.

They sound awful by the way. Make sure that when they get old and need your help, you repay them in kind.
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Chris22
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Sometimes the only way to break free of things like this is to rebel against it*
* - I will not be held responsible for any potential consequences of this
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hmon93
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Just wait it out, no point causing conflict when you're leaving soon.
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sweetascandy
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I read the title and knew you were Asian. :cool:
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Rascacielos
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(Original post by Ilyas)
I wish that worked in Asian cultures.
You clearly didn't read the rest of my post.
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Arcanine
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#16
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While you live under their roof you do as they say. Just wait until you leave as it's only a few months away.
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vickie89
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#17
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might just be time to rebel, come and go as you want, they wont like it at first but will eventually get over it. if you dont want to rebel you could try getting them to be more lenient in stages, once they see they can trust you they should be fine with it. only other way is to wait it out as you can do what you want to do at uni.

i was quite lucky growing up, my sister was a bit of a nightmare when she hit the age of about 15/16 (im 2 years younger) and really rebelled, to the point where i could do as i wanted because she had already done it all, so she figured it was easier to just let me get on with it rather than have the same battles she had with my sister, as long as i still did well at school - mum never bothered when i got home or when i went out with friends (i disappeared for whole weekends at times and all i would get is a "oh you are still alive, can you bring milk home with you"). think the only thing i could have done to outdo my sister and make my mum bothered about it would be to get arrested, do drugs or get pregnant, other than that it was all good and could do as i pleased. rebelling is probably the way to go tbh.
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kleryy
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#18
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Well , why don't you try to talk to them? Maybe there is a reason why the are ss overprotective. You can tell them that you are a grown up person and you can be responsible for your self. Also you should claim that, if they dont let you see the world now, how are you supposed to deal with it at the rest of your life? Just discuss with them, they will undrstand you. So, what are you waiting for? Go!!! And dont do anything stupid such as leave home, this will worsen the situation.
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Wystery
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I'm experienced the same thing with my parents. I'm 17 and hardly ever leave the house instead I'm at home being treated like a slave and made do **** for them the whole time. I'm mentally abused and I've broken down a lot but if I could give you one piece of advice from what I'm experiencing right now it would be that you gotta become strong. You gotta learn to stand up for yourself otherwise they will continue. What i am doing is that in just in my room away from them and completely blocking them out of my life. Take up a hobby something you can do at home. Dance , play am instrument, paint, talk to friends. There's so much you can do at home if you try hard enough. Write a diary. Anything at all. It's hard. But you gotta learn to face them and say how hou feel even if it doesn't affect them. I would advise you to start looking for some place to live. Move in with a friend or rent a room in someone house. Go to work and try to get some money. Try to ask your relatives if you can live with them. Don't tell your parents until you find something and then just have a speech prepared in your head and be confident and tell them how you feel and how you're sick of this and how you deserve better than this because you do and then leave the house and let their last sight of you be one where you walk out totally strong and independent because you don't need them. You can do this you just gotta be strong. And remember you are an adult so you have the right to do what you wsnt in your hands. So you have a huge advantage. Don't waste it and use it wisely. Good luck I hope it goes well x
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Wystery
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#20
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I'm experienced the same thing with my parents. I'm 17 and hardly ever leave the house instead I'm at home being treated like a slave and made do **** for them the whole time. I'm mentally abused and I've broken down a lot but if I could give you one piece of advice from what I'm experiencing right now it would be that you gotta become strong. You gotta learn to stand up for yourself otherwise they will continue. What i am doing is that in just in my room away from them and completely blocking them out of my life. Take up a hobby something you can do at home. Dance , play am instrument, paint, talk to friends. There's so much you can do at home if you try hard enough. Write a diary. Anything at all. It's hard. But you gotta learn to face them and say how hou feel even if it doesn't affect them. I would advise you to start looking for some place to live. Move in with a friend or rent a room in someone house. Go to work and try to get some money. Try to ask your relatives if you can live with them. Don't tell your parents until you find something and then just have a speech prepared in your head and be confident and tell them how you feel and how you're sick of this and how you deserve better than this because you do and then leave the house and let their last sight of you be one where you walk out totally strong and independent because you don't need them. You can do this you just gotta be strong. And remember you are an adult so you have the right to do what you wsnt in your hands. So you have a huge advantage. Don't waste it and use it wisely. Good luck I hope it goes well x
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