The Student Room Group

I don't trust men

Okay, seriously, I have this horrible preconception of guys: I just don't believe they ever have serious feelings for a girl. I haven't had any bad experiences, really, so I am not sure where my idea comes from, but whenever someone tells me they love me or really like me, I'll listen, but I never take them serious. It's like I believe only girls can fall in love and have honest feelings for someone. I know this is horrible and wrong, but I really do feel that way :frown: I mean, it is wrong, right? Guys do fall in love and they do get hurt and all that, don't they? Sorry for such a stupid thread, but I just want to be proven wrong :frown: I mean, when you say you really like a girl, do you ????

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Trust me i have been hurt many times, girls do it as well.
oh ye of little faith.... if i said it, i'd mean it...and chicks can always tell if i lie anyway, so i'm maybe not the best example....some do some don't would be my guess....
Yeah i've been hurt by girls loads too.
Infact i try not to take relationships as seriously anymore cos i was sick of getting constantly hurt.
But still i get attached to someone, and when it all goes wrong i hit a massive low.

But when i get those lows i cover it up by joking and getting drunk - maybe thats why you have that idea, cos admittedly us guys often try to hide our feelings and act as if we dont really care.
Reply 4
I think its just hard to imagine it, because sometimes its impossible to thik the way a guy does and so many of us preconcieve that they must think in a certain way. Do you think its because you worry no guy will ever love you? I would say I think alike and thats my main worry.. Mainly because I suppose im insecure. But the thing with relationships, and love we just have to believe that they do, Because having faith in someone else is sometimes the best we can get.. as they say 'Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not too'.
Reply 5
There are certainly men who are deeply loving, and certainly those full of love to give, in a committed relationship, but may be harder to find, even if you know somebody like that. I am similar to this aforementioned description, but I can understand your lack of belief, since I have similar doubt, although the nature of it is slightly different. However it is the same since I "know" it probably isn't true, but I don't feel it is, I have never experienced love, or even affection/flirting/anything, so I have a feeling of "disbelief" that I can find any relationship, let alone a serious, intimate relationship. However, like me, you have to focus on what you "know" is true, and try to stay out of negative thought - this can be surprisingly difficult, since it is actually easier to favour thinking negatively, because the mind can feel secure by it.

Another thing, all guys are different, they don't all think the same way, just like girls - I know guys, (especially those where women were predominant in their lives, like me) who have male mixed with female thought processes, apparently men are typically bad at picking up body language, but I often pick up a lot of messages from expressions and the way people say things, yet typically, I tend not to ask for directions unless I am totally lost :biggrin: and women (esp with the opposite situation) who deal with some situations in ways that men may typically do, e.g. women typically don't particularly like crude/dirty humour as much as men, but my mum cracks jokes with such themes sometimes.. I hate it when people treat the gender as some impossible to understand foreign species of mysterious creature - not implying anything, (just ranting :biggrin:) but just realise that in the end, you will only have to worry about the mentality of guys you are interested in, not preconceptions of them (although of course there are universal traits of behaviour in some cases). My basic point is; it's natural to have preconceptions, even sometimes when you don't know why, but be open minded to them being disproved, when you experience it for yourself, you will find that hopefully, your negative prenconceptions will hurt you less.
Reply 6
Anonymous
Okay, seriously, I have this horrible preconception of guys: I just don't believe they ever have serious feelings for a girl. I haven't had any bad experiences, really, so I am not sure where my idea comes from, but whenever someone tells me they love me or really like me, I'll listen, but I never take them serious. It's like I believe only girls can fall in love and have honest feelings for someone. I know this is horrible and wrong, but I really do feel that way :frown: I mean, it is wrong, right? Guys do fall in love and they do get hurt and all that, don't they? Sorry for such a stupid thread, but I just want to be proven wrong :frown: I mean, when you say you really like a girl, do you ????



all depends, I have a mate who tells every girl hes been with that he loves her just to get them into bed. but if you dont give it a go at taking someone seriously, you'll never find out if they are telling the truth or not.

better to of loved and lost... and all that balarny.
Reply 7
whistlinduck
oh ye of little faith.... if i said it, i'd mean it...and chicks can always tell if i lie anyway, so i'm maybe not the best example....some do some don't would be my guess....


Ironically people (mainly women) believe my lies, but never believe it when I tell the truth!!
Reply 8
Anonymous
Okay, seriously, I have this horrible preconception of guys: I just don't believe they ever have serious feelings for a girl. I haven't had any bad experiences, really, so I am not sure where my idea comes from, but whenever someone tells me they love me or really like me, I'll listen, but I never take them serious. It's like I believe only girls can fall in love and have honest feelings for someone. I know this is horrible and wrong, but I really do feel that way :frown: I mean, it is wrong, right? Guys do fall in love and they do get hurt and all that, don't they? Sorry for such a stupid thread, but I just want to be proven wrong :frown: I mean, when you say you really like a girl, do you ????


I don't trust women.

There are two sides to every story.
Reply 9
El Scotto

all depends, I have a mate who tells every girl hes been with that he loves her just to get them into bed. but if you dont give it a go at taking someone seriously, you'll never find out if they are telling the truth or not.

better to of loved and lost... and all that balarny.

those guys you can see coming from a thousand miles usually...

and about this "better to have love and lost" thing, I'm not so sure anymore... because it just hurts soooo much
Reply 10
Well, there are guys that are total ********, but I like to think of myself as a nice guy. On the flip side of the coin there are some wormen that are total *******. My first gf totally was. Didnt trust me at all, and even said so infront of me to her friends... not exactly nice. Then my second gf left me saying that she wasnt ready for a relationship, but was shacked up with one of our (mine and her) friends a week later. Thats a good 50% of my relationships with total *****. Fortunately also the first 50%. This 50% is looking up.

In short I think there are an equal number of ****** of each gender... guys just tend to not to show feelings when down...or atleast try not to.
bonnie

and about this "better to have love and lost" thing, I'm not so sure anymore... because it just hurts soooo much



you're wiser now though for the next time it happens!
Talon
My first gf totally was. Didnt trust me at all, and even said so infront of me to her friends... not exactly nice. Then my second gf left me saying that she wasnt ready for a relationship, but was shacked up with one if our (mine and her) friends a week later.



I've highlighted your mistake... you just listen to them too much :biggrin:
Reply 13
:biggrin: I cant help paying attention to my surroundings lol. Must try to turn my gullability down.... :smile:.

Not that those first to really mattered though....I was desperate at the time *cringes and reaches for the barge pole*
Reply 14
Anonymous
Okay, seriously, I have this horrible preconception of guys: I just don't believe they ever have serious feelings for a girl.

No I just wanna **** any girl I can.
Talon


Not that those first to really mattered though....I was desperate at the time *cringes and reaches for the barge pole*



Barge poles should really be more handily available!
Reply 16
Ferrus
No I just wanna **** any girl I can.


I think you may want to work on that chat up line..
Reply 17
Hanzing
I think you may want to work on that chat up line..
I just wanna girl to **** :frown:
Reply 18
I agree that there are many guys that are complete ******** but also that there are many girls that are the same. One example being that i took a girl out to the football (she had asked to go) and on the way home, she started flirting with this other guy that she knew i hated. She managed to get his mobile number. all of this right in front of me. then she went and asked him out. he said no, he was only doing it to wind me up and he knew how much i liked her.
another example being a year on and i find out that a girl i liked a lot, liked me as well. she had been saying that i was the ideal bf etc. she knew that i liked her as well and so i went to ask her out, only to find that she got a boyfriend the night before. I had gotten all this info from my best friend and i trust her loads, so i have no reason to question the truth from it.
and both times, it hurt a lot.
Reply 19
Ferrus
I just wanna girl to **** :frown:


Thats what prostitutes are for.

Same thing happened to me aloneinside, I was talking to this guy on msn (who was a mate at school) and we had been getting really close and he admited he fancied me and really thought I was great.. Next day he asks out my best friend?!