The Student Room Group

im ready, but not ready ready

im ready in my mind to have sex, and in my body sence to but the thing is im not comfortable with my body and being so exposed to someone like that. So its really stopping me actully having sex cos im worried the person will hate the way i look, and then change their mind. do you think there is anything i could do to make myself more confident about my body?

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Reply 1
Have sex.

When they see you and don't hate you then you will be more confident.
Anonymous
im ready in my mind to have sex, and in my body sence to but the thing is im not comfortable with my body and being so exposed to someone like that. So its really stopping me actully having sex cos im worried the person will hate the way i look, and then change their mind. do you think there is anything i could do to make myself more confident about my body?


go clubbing and wear revealing tight clothes.
have sex.
Reply 3
www.mingers.com < that should make you feel fairly confident with how you look :biggrin:
Reply 4
Thats site is rubbish. Most of them only look bad coz they are wearing big glasses or are pulling funny expressions. I've seen worse.
When you are truly ready, you'll be so in love with someone that they won't care what you look like, and neither will you.
Rosalily
When you are truly ready, you'll be so in love with someone that they won't care what you look like, and neither will you.

exactly!
if you are uncomfortable with them seeing a wobbly bit of you or thinking your bits are too small/big then what the HELL are doing by making love to them?!
When you fall in love and they fall in love with you, they really won't care what you look like! in fact if you still feel uncomfortable with them seeing your bum , then you should think again about having sex with them.
Reply 7
If the other person has made it clear they want to have sex with you, then im sure they see you as very attractive!

You could always do it in the dark/under the covers!
Student_Bum
exactly!
if you are uncomfortable with them seeing a wobbly bit of you or thinking your bits are too small/big then what the HELL are doing by making love to them?!

hmm i dont know...i was deeply insecure about being fully naked infront of my bf, i lost my v to him and weve been together nearly 3 years...just becuase i was insecure doesnt mean it wasnt the right person to lose it to

to the OP, id suggest looking at yourself naked, and picking out parts of your body that you like, then only focusing on these, also remember sex doesnt HAVE to be when you see every inch of somone, it can involve a dark room and sheets, thats how i started out, eventually i didnt mind the light being on and him seeing me in all my glory

things are never as bad as they seem, i bet you have a cute body in your own way :P..iv learnt to like mine, so it CAN happen
Reply 9
Just remember that if the person cares for you enough to take that step with you, they love you such that they can remember you are beautiful... no matter what you might look like.

You sound ready to me.
sex can be much more embarressing then seeing each other naked.
also more worryingly, you say your ready to have sex with someone but you dont actually have a partner and thinking about getting anyone?( may be wrong here) but if your nervous about your body , its going to be million times worse with a stranger seeing you naked!
Reply 11
bone-machine


to the OP, id suggest looking at yourself naked, and picking out parts of your body that you like, then only focusing on these, also remember sex doesnt HAVE to be when you see every inch of somone, it can involve a dark room and sheets, thats how i started out, eventually i didnt mind the light being on and him seeing me in all my glory

i hate my body i think its bad enough getting dressed after a shower, the only time i like my body is when its dark and you cant see everytHing and thats only in underwear.
my advice is to wait till you're with someone you love, because they will think that you're beautiful whatever. Coz i was the same, but when it came down to it, my boyfriend was so calming because i knew that he loved me so much that i stopped worrying about it. Thats the way to go. Its only an insensative jerk who would hurt your feelings like that, and he isnt worth sharing your body with!
Reply 13
listen to me. i absolutely cannot stand it when people go on about hating the way they look when naked. the naked body is beautiful and if someone's at the stage of having sex with you, they already like the way you look.

i always feel deceitful when people tell me i have a pretty body or sexy figure or whatever, because i know that underneath my clothes i have a horrific scar...i had surgery on my back when i was a baby and now have a scar that runs like a horizontal strip across my lower back. i used to feel like i'd never be comfortable enough with anyone to let them see it.

turns out, i only had to be comfortable with myself. you know what? i am. i like the way i look naked, i've had a fair few sexual partners and they also like the way i look naked. i just focus on the beautiful things about myself, and a few guys have actually said that they find my scar beautiful because it's part of me.

so please please don't complain about a few wobbley bits, you could be much worse off. and leave the lights on, it's more fun that way :biggrin:
its not as easy as just turning off a dislike you have about yourself! I mean I cant stand how i look naked, for many reasons. But i agree that its different when you're with a bloke, especially one that cares, because they do see past it all.
well thats not fair! Id say if you're prepared for him to up and leave, you shouldnt be having sex with him!
what i meant, was putting yourself into the situation where someone would do that to you isnt healthy! Unless you're looking for meaningless sex. which it doesnt sound like she is. So surely you wait for the right time to know that he wont love her and leave her.

And he shouldnt be leaving his seed in her anyway, as a side note.
Reply 17
Pretty Boy
So what do you recommend?

have sex with him/ let him leave his seed in you an just walk away?

That would leave her with mental problems/distrust of men/feeling worthless / feeling ugly/ feeling used/ and prolly just go out to get drunk to pull someone and sleep with them just to try to make herself feel better.

but you would do it anyway?


Oh God, why must we perpetually disagree in a serious way?!

Lauren Hart is saying that if you expect someone to leave you after having sex with you, you probably shouldn't be having sex with them in the first place. Makes sense, no?

Getting back to your original post in this thread, I don't think many people would be entirely indifferent to having sex with someone, only for them to leave them immediately. Most people would probably be at least a little bit upset if they actually cared for the other person.
Reply 18
well, the lights are out?!
If you are going to lose your virginity, it is likely to be with a guy that you've had a relationship for ages with right?
And you don't normally sit down and say, right we're going to have sex tonight. It is normally a gradual thing, so he will have seen you naked/in very little and vica versa.
Which gives you confidence.