The Student Room Group

Hating College

I'm In my final year of college and for a while now, i have just been counting down the days left untill I finish college.
I have been blamed by all my friends for something that i havent done (running off with a mates gf) and nothing i can say will change their minds. Mind you, most of them never liked me to start off with. Its been so bad for ages that there was only one person taht would hang around with me. Only the other day i found out that he only did it because he felt sorry for me and that he didnt really like me either.
The ex mate that i am supposed to have cheated on will not listen to me or even let me get my point across. He blames me for his now awful relationship with his gf just because me and her became friends and talked to each other over msn. Now all he is interested in doing is making my life as hard as possible. Hence why i have lost all the friends that i had. Its all resulted in me having no social life and just being a total outcast.
So this week i just decided to try and be friends with 3 other people in business studies (as it is a first year lesson and im a second year) and leave the others that i had been sitting with (this was greated with them all cheering). This ended up being a good decision, however they are only at our college for the 2 lessons of business studies that i have at the same time as me, plus they arent really people that are up for going out outside school. And as it is a small college, my ex mates know who i am now trying to be mates with and it wont be long untill they try spreading some story to them. I have already told them what the truth is and what my ex mates are likely to tell them but i still worry and as i only see them just twice a week in the same lesson, it still leaves me with the rest of the time at college on my own and as there is no one else to sit with, i am sat on my own in all the lessons.
This has now ended up with me suffering from depression and having no self esteem, confidence etc. I struggle to do my work, i cant concentrate and have lost all motivation. i have coursework due in soon and i cant get my head round to doing it and i am way behind as well.
can anyone suggest what i can do because otherwise i know that i am going to end up doing something really stupid?
thanks and sorry about this being so long

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Reply 1
oh and i know that uni is not too far away, but i need to get the grades and at the moment, i dont have a hope in hell of getting them. which also is affecting me
Reply 2
Sithius
Lots are in a similar boat as you in terms of 'hating' upper education. Just stick with it and hammer away at revision or whatelse you need to do.

What's that saying? Something about 'in order to get a rainbow you need to have the rain'. The rain being the crap days. :wink:


hehe
if you put it like that then i cant see any rainbow and it has been raining for over 4 months now
Reply 3
The rain shall end one day mate.. hopefully LOL.

All the best,
This isn't really connected to the topic but to the OP, your join date is Jan 1970. That's a mistake right!?
Btw I'm in the last year of sixth form too and it can be pretty tough with coursework and revision piling up. I think you should just work as hard as you can to get the required grades. I prefer sitting on my own at this academic stage as it's easier to concentrate.
You can find better friends in university than your original lot, ones that you'll form a mutually trusting relationship with.
Reply 6
SilentEar
This isn't really connected to the topic but to the OP, your join date is Jan 1970. That's a mistake right!?


when you post as anonymous, the join date is always 1970
Reply 7
SilentEar
Btw I'm in the last year of sixth form too and it can be pretty tough with coursework and revision piling up. I think you should just work as hard as you can to get the required grades. I prefer sitting on my own at this academic stage as it's easier to concentrate.
You can find better friends in university than your original lot, ones that you'll form a mutually trusting relationship with.



I understand and i cant wait for uni, however i still need to finish this year off and i just seme to have lost all motivation. i know that sitting on my own was a great decision and it is helping. however there are still some small things like the fact that i have a season ticket to the football with my ex mates and i paid a lot for it, so i dont really want to just throw that away and there isnt anyone else who would want it or go with me. then theres break times and lunch at college. i always seem to just spend my time in the LRC on a computer. Although i have a 2 hour lunch tomorrow and will end up just going into town to subway or somewhere like that on my own.
6 more months. just 6 more months. lol
However bad college is, its 8,000,000x better than school
Reply 9
i loved going to college, it was such a free enviroment and so much more grown up then school till the second year i started gettin damn right depressed
Reply 10
castroneves
However bad college is, its 8,000,000x better than school


school was really really bad as well cos people there used to treat me like crap. problem is that no one even tells me what i am doing wrong. the only person outside college tha even bothers with me, isnt allowed to see me or even talk to me because her bf is a complete ******** and she admits it all the time. she is just scared of him.
Hey, sounds like you've been having a hard time of it for a while. Has this guy's gf explained her side to him or did she pin it all on you?

I know the last thing you feel like doing is studying when you're feeling depressed. I've been there (at uni) though for different reasons. Do your parents know how you feel? A hug can go a long way, and it helps if you're at least happy at home if not at college.

You've done the right thing in sitting somewhere else; you just have to see it as a positive thing instead of feeling outcast. In my last year of A Levels I started sitting on my own more just so I could really focus on my work... be sure to tell yourself this is what you're doing and that you're not missing out on anything, that really you're working hard to get to university.

I suppose it seems a little late in the day to be making new friends? I guess your exams are in May/June and you'll get study leave before they start so it's not for much longer...

Feel free to PM me whenever. Also, if it helps, we could maybe discuss your coursework a bit? It might help you get into it, and without sounding too arrogant, I'm pretty good at most things!

A.S. xx

P.S. Regarding your season ticket: eBay?!
Reply 12
Oh my what crappy friends your mates are. Its good that youve seen their true colour. For me the worst mates are those that become your enemy, they are like betraying people who dont care but to put misery on other peoples lives because they cant accept that they are a total failure and try hard to put the blame on others. Just stay away from them, im sure there are other people whose much worthy.. dont get too affected by them to the point that you break down.. ive experienced that kind of stuff for a whole year thats why I changed school... I felt totally oppressed and isolated... how I hate those people but you cant continue hating them... i just do hope some dawn of light will shine upon your friends and realize how harsh they have been
Reply 13
I know how it feels (at uni though), poor you! *hugs*

Try and stick at it, remember that studying is your ticket out of there. Still, I know it's hard when you're miserable. Does your college have any sort of councelling service? You could try Connexions (perhaps...don't know too much about this). And yeah, if you need to just get things off your proverbial chest, pm me.

Good luck mate, hope things start getting better for you!
Reply 14
AltitudeSickness
Hey, sounds like you've been having a hard time of it for a while. Has this guy's gf explained her side to him or did she pin it all on you?

I know the last thing you feel like doing is studying when you're feeling depressed. I've been there (at uni) though for different reasons. Do your parents know how you feel? A hug can go a long way, and it helps if you're at least happy at home if not at college.

You've done the right thing in sitting somewhere else; you just have to see it as a positive thing instead of feeling outcast. In my last year of A Levels I started sitting on my own more just so I could really focus on my work... be sure to tell yourself this is what you're doing and that you're not missing out on anything, that really you're working hard to get to university.

I suppose it seems a little late in the day to be making new friends? I guess your exams are in May/June and you'll get study leave before they start so it's not for much longer...

Feel free to PM me whenever. Also, if it helps, we could maybe discuss your coursework a bit? It might help you get into it, and without sounding too arrogant, I'm pretty good at most things!

A.S. xx

P.S. Regarding your season ticket: eBay?!


She tried explaining her side of teh story to him, but he is, as you can tell, not the nicest of people and there isnt much point in getting the truth accross. he just saw it as a complete betrayal that me and her got close. a quote from him to his gf "it scares me that you 2 have become friendly because you would be the perfect couple". he doesnt deserve her at all. so she just ended up saying i dunno to every question that he asked her.

My parents dont really know how i feel. i know that i am doing their heads in because my gran keeps telling me some of the stuff that my parents tell her about what they think of me. Last time i was low, i did tell them and let them know what was going on, but they just acted like i wasnt telling the truth and they thought that i was being childish. they dont help anyway, they just challenge me about everything and then have a go at me. they definatly arent the kind of people that are going to hand out hugs. they think that they are doing the worlds greatest thing for me by making me get a job as i am unemployed at the moment because i had a christmas temp job and wasnt kept on. yet i have managed to buy and win things over the internet and sell them on ebay, and that is providing me for enough money to do whatever i want to do at the moment

I know that i have made the right decision in moving to a seperate desk on my own, however i didnt really have much choice as i was practically forced away because the atmosphere was that hostile. Also, they dont really give students at our college study leave because we arent there all week as it is. throughout the year i have monday morning, wednesday, friday afternoon, saturday and sunday off.

I have made some new friends, however they are only at college on monday afternoons and thursday mornings when i see them, so i dont really see them that much.

All my ex mates would only try and feed them with lies anyways so its good that they only see me a little. Its good also that i have told them what the truth is about that situation.

thanks for the offer with my cwk, if i have another week like last week, then i will take you up on it as i am really behind now. :smile:
Reply 15
Logan
Oh my what crappy friends your mates are. Its good that youve seen their true colour. For me the worst mates are those that become your enemy, they are like betraying people who dont care but to put misery on other peoples lives because they cant accept that they are a total failure and try hard to put the blame on others. Just stay away from them, im sure there are other people whose much worthy.. dont get too affected by them to the point that you break down.. ive experienced that kind of stuff for a whole year thats why I changed school... I felt totally oppressed and isolated... how I hate those people but you cant continue hating them... i just do hope some dawn of light will shine upon your friends and realize how harsh they have been


they wont realise how they have been because they wont listen to the truth. No matter what i say, they wont listen. I dont really hate them. Its just the case that i wont spend any time with them as i hate being round people that hate me, and from what i have herd, they really really hate me. The guy that i supposedly cheated on, yeah, i hate him but the feeling is mutual. and the only way that that will change is if he stands up and says sorry, but that isnt going to happen anytime soon. I dont know what is getting me down more to be honest, the feeling of lonliness, or the fact that practically everyone that knows me there, hates me.
Reply 16
Krysia
I know how it feels (at uni though), poor you! *hugs*

Try and stick at it, remember that studying is your ticket out of there. Still, I know it's hard when you're miserable. Does your college have any sort of councelling service? You could try Connexions (perhaps...don't know too much about this). And yeah, if you need to just get things off your proverbial chest, pm me.

Good luck mate, hope things start getting better for you!


The only real councelling that the college has is jut talking to a teacher, i have tried that and they just think i am exaggurating when i say taht no one there likes me at all. Connexions is more of a place to gather info for further education.
What do these ex-'friends' of your'es actually do? Do they just ignore you or do they yell at you, jeer at you etc? And the other people there. People that weren't your friends but seem to hate you anyway. Go up to them and demand to know why they would just believe anything these gits say about you. Pathetic f***s :mad: And these people who were your 'friends' go up to them and if you have to shout it ask them why they won't listen to your side of the situation. Then report back here and we'll give you more specific advice for each situation :biggrin:
And why haven't you got a social life if you ran off with this guys girl? Surely she's still with you, and in that case is she taking some of the flak, and if not, why not?
Reply 18
matt@internet
What do these ex-'friends' of your'es actually do? Do they just ignore you or do they yell at you, jeer at you etc? And the other people there. People that weren't your friends but seem to hate you anyway. Go up to them and demand to know why they would just believe anything these gits say about you. Pathetic f***s :mad: And these people who were your 'friends' go up to them and if you have to shout it ask them why they won't listen to your side of the situation. Then report back here and we'll give you more specific advice for each situation :biggrin:
And why haven't you got a social life if you ran off with this guys girl? Surely she's still with you, and in that case is she taking some of the flak, and if not, why not?


they just ignore me all the time, and just constantly take the p*$$. Like i was comin home with them from the football and was waiting at the tram stop with them. The tram came but it was packed at the tram stop. so i led the way in front and managed to grab a set of 4 seats only to turn around and they had just decided to do a runner down the other end. so i was sat there on my own for the hour long tram ride. and it isnt the 1st time that they have done that either. They also just constantly say all kinds of s*** behind my back, all of it is really nasty stuff.

The people that tend to hate me are the people that just know me and i was pretty well known at college and as i have said, its a small college where pretty much everyone knows everyone and theres that many people that do just talk about me behind my back, its hard not to take notice and also its kinda the case now where the people that become friends with me, also become hated by everyone and i aint worth it.

Regarding why they all hate me, the fact is that it did look a lot like me and his gf were seeing each other on more than a friendly basis as everyone knew that we had become good friends.

No i dont have a social life at all, its kinda pathetic really. She is the kind of person that does not like to upset others and bf is a complete, well u know. She has tried to dump him in the past and every time he has acted like the injured innocent one and then acts like he is going to self harm. She has also never dumped anyone before and is afraid about what he will do. he wont dump her because he likes the fact that he has someone to spend time with. he even admitted to me when we were still kinda mates that one of the main reasons that they were still together was because he didnt want to be alone over the summer holiday and christmas etc. he will only finish her if he has someone better to be with and all the girls know that he is a loser. i wonder why they think that :rolleyes:.

She did take some flak for it but nowhere near as much as i have. but that has always been the case as he has always blamed me for it. he forced her to stop talking to me on msn and even managed to get her msn password when he was at her house once. I should realli change it for her again as i set up all the security. she still talks to me though as she has more than one IM. i wont say what we use tho because it might b kinda obvious who i am to him now and so he will use it as well.

She has a lot of problems at the moment though and me telling the truth will show that she was lying about most of the things that she had told him which will just provide more grief than she needs. and she needs to be as stressfree as possible right now because she might have to have a major operation in a few weeks time

sorry for the long post
i think colege has it ups and it's downs but it can be a **** place sometime :smile: