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Anonymous
Thank you so very much for your replies. Yes, I had a good long think about it and have decided that if there's a chance I'm going to be seeing him, I'm making sure I'm in a skirt, someone earlier suggested Boden style skirts and I realised that I *do* actually have a few (that I'd shoved to the back of my wardrobe thinking aaaaargh never ever going to wear them LOL). Also think I'm going to spend a little more time with the curlers so I get the feminine look. So yay! And yes, I think I'm going to go about it somehow along the lines of how you did - that way even if he isn't interested, he'll just think I'm confiding in him. Yes, I did find the bench thing a little interesting, because there was only a 1.5 cm gap and there was no way I could have hurt myself...
And I'm really glad about the race thing. :smile: :smile: :smile:
You've been utterly invaluable. Best of luck to you and your CBPS! I hope I have a similar tale to tell in a few months time :redface:


Great news, Anon #1. I'm sure he'll appreciate the skirt and curls, they'll be worth the effort. Also, looking back on the whole thread, I noticed he told you he doesn't believe in sex before marriage. I don't think he'd do that unless he saw you as a potential girlfriend and was trying to set out his position in advance. I think you stand a very good chance. Good luck :yy: !
Reply 61
Re the sex before marriage thing: I wish! No, he's Catholic (as am I) and as we both practice it's a general thing we believe in.
Reply 62
Are you hindu? if so, what do your parents think about this?
Reply 63
Actually my mother knows him and likes him.
And if you can read my previous post you can see I'm not hindu :rolleyes:
This just gets better and better, Anon #1. You're both Catholics and share similar attitudes to premarital sex and parentood vs career, and your mothers are friends. You flirt with each other, he sat next to you at dinner, conversed with you all evening and had exaggerated gentlemanly concerns for your welfare, you're both into music, you're mates with his sister... sounds like I should be buying a hat!

Please, please, try something along the lines of what I said. You really need to give this guy some (very) heavy hints! He needs to know that you're single, that you wish you weren't, that you find him marvellous in every way, that guys who ask you out aren't causing offence but are welcome... in fact, everything short of you doing the asking.

Although in the event I didn't have to use it, I did have a 'plan B' with my CBPS. If the image makeover and the heavy hints about singledom, wishing guys would ask me out and not being offended by approaches hadn't worked, I was going to wait until he did or said something really kind and gentlemanly and then say outright 'You know, I'd give anything to have a boyfriend as gorgeous as you' or maybe even find some reason to burst into tears and then say the same thing. They're very gallant, CBPSs, and I'm sure he would have said 'But you can!'...

When are you seeing him next?
Reply 65
Our mothers are friends LOL NO... I said my mum knows him and likes him LOL
Reply 66
I'm seeing him Sunday...really I don't think I should even attempt. :frown:
Reply 67
blissy
Sad thing is that I wasn't totally joking. The homely, yet alluring, look is the way forward. Need to project two things:
1) will go down well with beloved mummy
2) will go down well

Isn't that what every man wants? However maybe that's because my mum's always been very knowing, accepting and lovely about me and relationships. She always said the perfect girlfriend was "an angel in public and a devil in the bedroom".

Or maybe I'm just turning posh :redface:
Reply 68
Eien
I'm that sort of guy, or more bluntly, somebody who has never had any kind of sexual/amorous relationship with any woman, and often I feel more "innocent" to such a social world, but what would be the most attractive to me would be a girl with a look implying "I'm going to give you a new experience you'll never forget, big boy" :biggrin:


That's one sentiment with which I am amply equipped to identify. So to speak.
Reply 69
Well, am going to attempt the aforementioned advice tomorrow...any last minute tips people? :smile: :smile:
Anonymous
Well, am going to attempt the aforementioned advice tomorrow...any last minute tips people? :smile: :smile:


Yes! Remember that at best he wants to marry you and be the father of your children and at worst he wants to keep you as a friend, but because he's shy with women and respectful towards you he's scared silly of makin a move that could be unwelcome.

If you didn't want to try the exact approach I suggested before, I thought of a couple more last night. You could take advantage of the fact it's Sunday to say how you feel lonely and wish you had a boyfriend but you'd really like one who shares your values on things like premarital sex, whereas most guys only want one thing. You could maybe ask him how he's coped in the same situation and then talk about how much you'd like your first time to be with your husband, then maybe ask him what he's looking for in a girl. There should be ample opportunity for you to observe what a lovely guy he is and how you wish you had a boyfriend as gorgeous as him... he surely will take the hint!

Another way might be to play on the fact that your mother knows him and likes him. You could perhaps say your Mum is a bit of a matchmaker, really wants to see you happy and not single for the rest of your life and keeps dropping hints about whether he has asked you out, or is going to do so.

IMHO all blokes, however brainy, are simple souls and CBPSs are the type of guy that wants to do the asking, you need to really spell it out to him that he ought to be asking you out and he definitely won't offend you by doing it...

Good luck!
Reply 71
Anonymous
Yes! Remember that at best he wants to marry you and be the father of your children and at worst he wants to keep you as a friend, but because he's shy with women and respectful towards you he's scared silly of makin a move that could be unwelcome.

*faints*
:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

If you didn't want to try the exact approach I suggested before, I thought of a couple more last night. You could take advantage of the fact it's Sunday to say how you feel lonely and wish you had a boyfriend but you'd really like one who shares your values on things like premarital sex, whereas most guys only want one thing. You could maybe ask him how he's coped in the same situation and then talk about how much you'd like your first time to be with your husband, then maybe ask him what he's looking for in a girl. There should be ample opportunity for you to observe what a lovely guy he is and how you wish you had a boyfriend as gorgeous as him... he surely will take the hint!

Another way might be to play on the fact that your mother knows him and likes him. You could perhaps say your Mum is a bit of a matchmaker, really wants to see you happy and not single for the rest of your life and keeps dropping hints about whether he has asked you out, or is going to do so.

IMHO all blokes, however brainy, are simple souls and CBPSs are the type of guy that wants to do the asking, you need to really spell it out to him that he ought to be asking you out and he definitely won't offend you by doing it...

Good luck!

Awww, thanks so much for returning! The problem, is that this implies that he is actually interested...and I'm sure he isn't eg, I'm hardly attractive etc :frown: :frown: which makes me so sad, because I really do like him. He's everything I'd ever want. But if someone doesn't like you like that, there is nothing one can do. :frown: :frown:
Reply 72
Dammit there goes anonymity...ahh well who cares.
minimo
*faints*
:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:


Awww, thanks so much for returning! The problem, is that this implies that he is actually interested...and I'm sure he isn't eg, I'm hardly attractive etc :frown: :frown: which makes me so sad, because I really do like him. He's everything I'd ever want. But if someone doesn't like you like that, there is nothing one can do. :frown: :frown:


I think you're putting yourself down unfairly - I reckon he thinks you're very attractive indeed and cares deeply about you (based on the flirting, sitting with you, concern for your welfare, shared faith and interests, etc).

If you try any one of the three approaches I'm suggesting and he isn't interested, it's not like you'd be declaring your undying love for him so he has no reason to be embarrassed or uncomfortable. And there really is only one way of finding out...

I'll be thinking of you! Please, please give it a try - and let us know how you get on!
Reply 74
he sounds like the most boring bloke alive......
Reply 75
And plus, I'm with a group of other people, so it's not like I can just blurt it out it the middle, I'd have to effectively get away somewhere quiet with him and then do that... :s:
Anonymous
effectively capture the attention of an extremely intelligent, extremely traditional and extraordinarily handsome man I shall be seeing tomorrow. For the record, he knows I exist and I've already flirted madly with him. He uh can be a bit indecipherable at times... his favourite phrases being 'splendid' 'smashing' and 'Oh deary me.'


Have we met?
Reply 77
Check your PMs.
Anonymous

He doesn't aprove of premarital sex.


Ah, it appears not...

I would guess that he's probably quite shy about relationships, so you should take the lead. Ply him with alcohol then try to kiss him. Also, break out the possibly-inappropriate compliments: "I fancy you more than the allusion to Mahler 2 at the close of 'Im Abendrot'", "I bet with your octave technique you pull off more than the Sixth Hungarian Rhapsody", "You would make a beautiful alcoholic", &c.
I know i said I was going to start working, but then, so did you!

Anyway, i think the best thing is to try to make friends with him first and let it develop slowly. you are interested in music too, you both sing, you have a lot in common! so just get talking to him! take the pressure off youself. Get to know him as a friend!

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