The Student Room Group

Female not achieving orgasm

Ok i dont know who im asking here but anyone generally, ok girls how does it feel if you cant get properly aroused? my boyfriend cant make me cum, and i feel really bad for him coz he really wants to please me but he just cant.

guys how does it feel wen u cant satisfy a girl?

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Reply 1
Depends on how serious things are.
Is it because your holding back, or hes not very good.

Help him, show him what you like, and make sure your relaxed.
Reply 2
Oh there have been loads of threads on this. :smile: Don't worry, you're not the only one (and the bad news is, some women NEVER cum). It's not your bf's fault, tell him that. Unless of course, he really IS bad at what he's doing.
Reply 3
Maybe you need to talk to him more? I think a lot of relationships would benefit from the partners telling each other what turns them on and what types of stimulation they prefer.

Apart from that all I can say is try to be warm and relaxed, maybe a few drinks would help (but not too many). Try slowing down and extending foreplay a bit longer; if your being very sensual with each other without actually touching each other too intimately you should get so aroused it won't take much for him to give you an orgasm.
buy a vibrator. Seriously, if you can make yourself cum then you will be a lot better at showing him how to.
Reply 5
Anonymous
my boyfriend cant make me cum

Perhaps he isn't stimulating you in the correct way. Does he know what a clitoris is?
Reply 6
The only instruction manual for your pussy is you, he could know every method ever derived but he still won't know which one is working the best if you don't tell him. If you quite simply can't get there unlucky because 1% of women phsyically cant.
it could also mean you have a low sex drive
Reply 8
Anonymous
buy a vibrator. Seriously, if you can make yourself cum then you will be a lot better at showing him how to.


i can make myself cum but i cant seem to when he's pleasuring me, ive gotten really close a few times but it just doesnt happen.
Reply 9
Anonymous
i can make myself cum but i cant seem to when he's pleasuring me, ive gotten really close a few times but it just doesnt happen.


Sounds like you are trying to hard. You are probably so busy worrying that you aren't going to have an orgasm and concentrating on it too much that it is stopping you from relaxing.

Try and relax more and just let things happen naturally - it will come eventually. (Excuse the pun).
Maybe you should get him to watch you masterbate, then he can pick up tips. Also, you'll be more reserved with someone else, you're not being watched when its just you in the room, so you have no one to prove anything to.

Also make sure he works on the clit enough. And be thankful that you can have one alone, i cant have one at all.
Reply 11
Lauren Hart
Maybe you should get him to watch you masterbate, then he can pick up tips. Also, you'll be more reserved with someone else, you're not being watched when its just you in the room, so you have no one to prove anything to.

Also make sure he works on the clit enough. And be thankful that you can have one alone, i cant have one at all.
I knew you would post in here. :wink:

And that clit-working isn't necessarily true. For a lot of women it is too sensitive so it hurts, plus it only works after you get aroused enough.
hehe, hey hugatree. And certainly not exclusive clitoral stimulation. no no. you need to keep it varrying or it stops being as good/causes over sensativity which is equally as bad.

I again reiterate the point that at least you can alone. Me and hugatree dont, unless she's something to share with the group... i might have missed it.......
Reply 13
thanks everyone for that, made me feel less abnormal and generally worried about it. any ideas on how to relax more, no mention of alcohol please.
Reply 14
Lauren Hart
hehe, hey hugatree. And certainly not exclusive clitoral stimulation. no no. you need to keep it varrying or it stops being as good/causes over sensativity which is equally as bad.

I again reiterate the point that at least you can alone. Me and hugatree dont, unless she's something to share with the group... i might have missed it.......
Nope. :frown:
relaxation comes with confidence and knowing someone, other than that it can be difficult, try a nice bubble bath with candles and soft music, followed by soaping and cleaning each other, and drying each other, then getting into a clean sheets really softly made bed, and just dont rush anything, all leisurely, and slow. and dont just concentrate on you, then him, then sex, just generally make out and move between you and him back to you etc etc.
Reply 16
Anonymous
thanks everyone for that, made me feel less abnormal and generally worried about it. any ideas on how to relax more, no mention of alcohol please.


Massage, and lots and lots of kisses before you even do anything else. Light, soft, gentle kisses all over your body, (especially the neck area) is bound to get you relaxed (at least more than you are getting at the minute.)

Just enjoy the feelings you get from being close, and try not to think about the actual orgasm.
ooooh, yes, neck kissing is good.
Reply 18
Having my neck kissed is the first thing that ever got me wet instantly and I think it was the first time as well. Never forgot that time, it worked like a charm (even though it wasn't supposed to cos we were out for walk :p: ) so yeah try that. :smile:

G-Spot stimulation might be better than clitoral as well.
ye, g spot can be difficult though, different people need differnt types of stimulation. but i agree, its very good. hmmmmm..... its so tough, but try not to focus on the orgasm.