Is it a &#x27;rebound&#x27;?

I don't know how people can like people they don't know :\

Reply 3

OP

Its been a couple weeks already - i think about her loads.

If it was obvious that it was rebound or not i wouldnt ask - im just so unsure like im afraid after a few weeks more i wont like her or sumthin.

Reply 4

MNBStyle

9

Crushses and rebounds are very alike, so basically what you really feel will take time like it would for a possible crush.

Reply 5

Anonymous

Ok basically.

Not too long after splitting up from something long term.

Since then i've had crush after crush on a wave of girls, and each time i was 'certain' i liked them, even though in most cases i barely knew them. This is known as rebound right?

And now i like somebody else.
So how do i tell if im actually liking her just as a rebound or as something more serious?????????? Or even if this stupid rebound thing even exists or anything that might help me clear my head.
thx

It's a rebound if something happens with them. You should probably explain what you mean by "barely knew them".

You're probably trying to fill some void but then isn't that what most people are doing when they fall for someone?

Reply 6

OP

It's a rebound if something happens with them. You should probably explain what you mean by "barely knew them".

You're probably trying to fill some void but then isn't that what most people are doing when they fall for someone?

When i say barely knew them, i mean i only met them a few times and liked them loads really quick (very soon after my breakup with my gf)

This new girl - i know her much better like we've been out places together and stuff. But i'm hoping its not the same case as before - like using someone just to 'fill a void' is wrong isnt it?

Reply 7

Anonymous

When i say barely knew them, i mean i only met them a few times and liked them loads really quick (very soon after my breakup with my gf)

This new girl - i know her much better like we've been out places together and stuff. But i'm hoping its not the same case as before - like using someone just to 'fill a void' is wrong isnt it?

Can you tell us how you met them and what you mean by "met them"? Did anything happen with them?

Well we only like people and develop feelings for them if we're in the right state of mind and allow ourselves to have feelings. I don't think you should feel bad about liking these girls. There shouldn't be a rule telling you when it's normal to have feelings and when it isn't. You can be with someone for months, even years and not develop strong feelings, yet share an evening with someone else and all kinds of feelings develop. If it were logical it would be so much easier.

You just have to be careful and realise that the other person might not have the same feelings and become attached so fast. As long as you're aware of that...

Reply 8

OP

Can you tell us how you met them and what you mean by "met them"?

Nothing happened, i just met them while out with friends etc. An you know just developed stupid crushes which i think were simply because i was trying to fill the void that my breakup had left. I've since recognised this.

Thats the thing - this new gal i know she has feelings for me. Shes already told me this.
Hence why i wana figure myself out to avoid giving false hope.

But half of my head is saying how much i like her, and the others telling me that its the same as before. But then its been months since my breakup. Am i just being paranoid and should i just be more trusting in my feelings?

Reply 9

Anonymous

Nothing happened, i just met them while out with friends etc. An you know just developed stupid crushes which i think were simply because i was trying to fill the void that my breakup had left. I've since recognised this.

Thats the thing - this new gal i know she has feelings for me. Shes already told me this.
Hence why i wana figure myself out to avoid giving false hope.

But half of my head is saying how much i like her, and the others telling me that its the same as before. But then its been months since my breakup. Am i just being paranoid and should i just be more trusting in my feelings?

I'd say go with the feelings but that's a personal view. Nothing's wrong with becoming attached as long as you make sure you're not the only one who has feelings. I think with the other girls, you were just getting crushes without thinking about whether they liked you, without thinking if things were working between you.

Too many people believe that you're only allowed to have feelings in certain circumstances but that's not how feelings work. You can't put rules on them. People fall in love because they allowed themselves to, because they were in the right mindset at the time and of course, because of the person they're with. You can't simply say that people can only get true feelings after 3 months or whatever. You might never get any feelings for anyone you go out with and one day, meet someone so special that you just lose it... it might be because of the mindset you were in at the time but if you spend your time saying you can't have feelings because of the mindset you're in (in your case, having broken up with someone quite recently), then you might as well say you can never have any feelings. Because in you're not in the right frame of mind, you can't get feelings for someone, no matter how long you stay with them, no matter how serious the relationship gets.

The only thing you can do is find out about your partner's feelings and make sure you're not getting ahead of yourself.

Reply 10

OP

The only thing you can do is find out about your partner's feelings and making sure you're not getting ahead of yourself.

Thanks loads some really useful stuff. Just wanted someone to confirm to me that i do actually like her thats all. Dont ask why im just doubting what i feel maybe because i'm not used to things going so smoothly?
I duno but thanks anyway :yy:

Reply 11

Anonymous

Thanks loads some really useful stuff. Just wanted someone to confirm to me that i do actually like her thats all. Dont ask why im just doubting what i feel maybe because i'm not used to things going so smoothly?
I duno but thanks anyway :yy:

Well don't try and feel like you have to justify your feelings to yourself. Otherwise no feelings are ever justifiable since they only appear because you were in a certain frame of mind.
Your frame of mind at the time was influenced by the fact you broke up with someone recently. It doesn't make the frame of mind less valid or your feelings less real.

Reply 12

strawberry

13

HearTheThunder

I don't know how people can like people they don't know :\

that wouldn't be liking. that'll be lust. :smile:

they're attracted to theat person's physical attributes, not their personality.

Reply 13