what led to this?

Ok a very long time ago more than 2 years i was with this chick n we were totally in great n stuff n i had butterflies whenever i was with her etc. btw we were about 15 then so quite young you could say it was puppy love or just infatuation but the feeling was great. she was very nice n cute n eveyr1 loved her i mean every1 in our grade i dont even know how i got her but anyways. some time later we split n then i was very heartbroken n i guess she was too but basically we havent spoken all these times. but what happened is she basically became a toally diffent person. she went out with this guy soon after we split n rumor has it that she ****ed him real quickly after she broke up with me n after that she just went with many guys n started smoking n drinking n not caring about school n even her former close friends are now despising her n stuff. i must stress that she was very sweet girl n exceled at school n every loved her n how shes very much disliked by every1. one time her former friend showed me a pic of what i think is her in bed with another guy cos i saw she was i guess topless n i saw an arm pushing next to her in a push up position. all that stuff really broke my heart even more n now i feel bad cos i feel its perhaps my fault she s like this but as i said we never talked again but very very little. i must say that at least 1 yr after that i saw her still look my way n stuff trust me i know that look but now shes considered dirty even by her friends n i although i have moved on n liked other girls before i still have feelings for her but i don't like her like this u know cos before she was sweet n stuff but now... as i said. even my friends who used to be her friend now say they dont even wanna talk to her.
my question is has anyone had anything similar happen to people they know/their friends etc. i feel this happens to girls more cos i haven't seen my male friends break up with their gfs n act like this, sure they soon chase other girls but their personalities don't change. is this something girls do, is this some kind of rebound effect which somehow lasts permanentlY? i read somewhere that if at a young age girls are emotionally hurt badly or smth they'll more likely grow up to be strippers or hookers or smth cos they enjoy the attention they get it makes them feel like they're wanted cos they were unwanted before. i don't know.
u don't have to directly answer my question just if u ve got smth to say i d like to hear it too.

Reply 1

rockthecasbah

That was long. A few spaces might have helped. But anyway...
It does seem that maybe it stems from an insecurity she may have had, or still has.
The only way you get people to see these problems is to tell it to them straight. I know it would probably be a bit hard for you, or anyone to do this, but she probably can't tell that what she is doing is destructive.
As the cliché goes, 'she needs to take a long hard look at herself in the mirror' or something like that.
It's nice that you still care. It's sweet.

Reply 2

wanderer

Be wary. People change, and wishing that they were how they used to be can let you in for a lot of hurt. Your teens (late as well as early) are a time when a lot of people struggle to figure out who they are and how they want to be - and if it goes wrong it can be something very unpleasant to be caught up in.

Reply 3

Talon

Out of interest, why did you split up in the first place?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

somehow she thought i stopped caring or smth n i admit that there were times when i kindof lost focus (but doesn't mean i liked some1 else). actually i think she thought i liked someone else or smth n she kind of assumed it. but it simply started disintegrating n we talked less n less n then she started doing those things n i was just heartbroken. i became empty u could say for quite a long time but soon somehow i started liking girls again but it was never like her. ok this really sounds like a romance novel even though i've never read one but its true. you must have had it in your life too where u have ur super sweetheart but u end up with some1 else n u love them as much except the feeling is different from ur first rite?
i do wish she was how she used to be n i still feel for her but shes changed so much n i don't like her like this u know, i like the person she was. although sometimes i see those glimpses where it was like the old times again. i think i'm able to understand that people change but theres always that wish. u know i'd like to talk things out but its been years since then n i dont know if she forgot it totally or if she still feels like me but theres always that barrier of awkwardness which is impossible to pass. we havent talked very long n its been that way ever since.
the thing is she could jsut be doing that cos its just her or it could be some other reasons or it could be cos of me n thats what bugs me. hence i'm asking if this is smth that happens to girls cos i've seen it doesnt happen to guys.