How do you tell someone

Hey everyone,
I really need some help :frown:

. Basically cut long story short, I met a lad before xmas, was with him until a few weeks ago when he finished me because he is going away in army in about a month. I lost my virginity to him so he still means a lot to me and although we havent even really spoken to each other since ( Ive texted him saying i still want to be friends but he hasnt bothered getting back in touch), ive decided to let him be and not bother trying again.
Well anyways, his best friend is with my of my mates so they both suggested that i meet up with one of his friends whos nice etc. Well before i met up we spoke on phone for few hours , got on quite well etc. So now ive met up with him ( i met him with my mate and his friend) i know it sounds really shallow, but i just cant see anything happening as i dont like him like that at all, i know looks arent everything but they are to some extent i think. His mate realised i didnt like him but i dont think he has even though when he was trying to kiss me i was holding back etc. Also, hes getting quite obsessive, before i met him he was ringing me about three times a day, and when i met up with him he was reading my texts on my phone without me knowing!! So now basically, without being harsh i need to say in the politest way possible, that i dont like him which is never easy, whats the best way to say it without being nasty?
Personally, i was thinking of saying i think its wrong because you are my exes friend ( kinda not close but still) and it will be awkward and i cant deal with it although i thought i could.
I am not planning to say this, but i think its just made me realise how much i really liked my ex, and how much i miss him but i dont want to get back in contact because he will think im obssesive and he obv doesnt want anything to do with me although his friend thinks he told me earlier to stop more heart ache. Helppp me pleasee!!
Sorry for ranting on :smile: