low self esteem

Does any one else suffer from this? i compare my self to every one else about how much prettier they are then me and how sucsseful and mature they are and how perfect they are comepared to me.

i hat feeling like this, anyy ideas how to stop this? is there any one else who has the same propblem?

please help

Reply 1

championhopper

yeah sometimes you jus have to think about how you are better than them in some way - either you're smarter or funnier or you can whistle better or you can balance a spoon off the end of your nose longer, trust me there's a skill you possess that others are envious of

Reply 2

aSian_cUtY

You never know...they could be feeling the exact same way about you....i always used to compare myself with my mates, and then one of them came up to me the other day and said..i'm jealous of you because you are X..i had no idea she felt that way till that day..so basically my point is they could be feeling the same way...and try not to concentrate on your bad points, but your good points instead!!

Reply 3

dr_gonzo

1

It's all normal. everyone has it. Some people more than most. personnaly, i haven't met anyone who is totally confident. i usually get it in waves ie: i get low but i bounce back. Hey did anyone else see the posts by people saying they would commit suicide, on this forum? do you recon they were just kidding? i have had real lows but i don't think i'd get so lowas to commit suicide. it just seems a bit selfish towards people you know.

Reply 4

no1mohsin

13

My gf's like this she's always like "why are you going out with me i'm the ugliest girl you've ever seen" even though she's beautiful. I always tell her this and over the months the change is definitely noticeable i think.

Reply 5

random_dude_66

OP

i have my good days like to day i lost 5 pounds in under a week i was so chuffed then my mate said she had a job and i went so low coz i dont. i just feel every one is doing better then me.
and for your info dr gonzo i attempted suicide 2 yrs ago after beng servirelly depressed for 3 yrs

Reply 6

dr_gonzo

1

hey, look, i d'ont mean to offend. my post was shi* what i was trying to say is try to think about your parents ect... by the way, i don't have a job and i know a friend who always boasts about his job so i know how frustrating that is. to be honest i've never really felt totally depressed. this is because i always look at the bad thing in life from a humourous point of view. try it out. next time there's something bad that occurs, just laugh, and just try to paint it as a surreal comedy. something you would see on a tv comedy show. Also, you are not alone, almost everyone gets it. It's so important to stress this. We are, after all competetive animals at the heart and some of us do not compete effectively. next time you see someone who seems to have it all (job, car, intelligence, looks, boyf/girlf) well just think it through. that person has had, still has and will have problems. what makes the difference between her/him and you is that they are always competing. always attempting to live up to their own expectations. they set themselves targets and force themselves to meet them. in their mind , they tell themselves that "i would'nt want to end up like that* points at homeless beggar/ crazy goth*". :eek:

im not saying this is good, in fact it is inherently bad to dismiss other people. However, i think each of us would do well with a little bit of that attitude. You are not really depressed, you are convincing your own self that you are in this mental state. the more you and others tell you that you are a perfectly normal human being the better you will feel.

YOU ARE A PERFECTLY NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

Ps: sorry for rambling on, now i read it again it seems a complete mess :rolleyes:

( yet it seemed good when i was writing it! :frown:

)

Reply 7

Bubble Fairy

1

Yeh sometimes a feel low/down but then I compare myself to other people & feel quite pretty clever, sporty, popular, sexy.....and thank God I'm nothing like them!

Shopping usually cheers me up aswell (apart from the people in shops often look really nice - which worsens the situation & I feel guilty spending the dosh)

Reply 8

random_dude_66

OP

o turn eberything in to a joke now and my bro keeps yelling at me for it i just dont feel im were i shud be in life. aspects iof my life im ahppy with and are going great i just need the rest of it to do the same.

dr gonzo sorry for having a go i know u didnt mean to offend

Reply 9

random_dude_66

OP

o turn eberything in to a joke now and my bro keeps yelling at me for it i just dont feel im were i shud be in life. aspects iof my life im ahppy with and are going great i just need the rest of it to do the same.

dr gonzo sorry for having a go i know u didnt mean to offend

Reply 10

dr_gonzo

1

look, i can't say anymore than i have done. I have no idea what you are going through because, i have said before, i've never really felt completely useless. WHat i suggest is: find your fave movie and watch it. tell your brother to pi** off / do things to annoy him. my sister does it all the time to me when she is down :mad:

.

Also, try what Bubble fairy said.perhaps, i don't really have much experience in that field :biggrin:

.

Finally, a lot of people find that the internet is a great resource for A) making friend and B) expressing yourself. Try out weblogs: Blogger, Myspace...

you'll get over it :wink:

.

Reply 11

Environmentalist

random_dude_66

Does any one else suffer from this? i compare my self to every one else about how much prettier they are then me and how sucsseful and mature they are and how perfect they are comepared to me.

i hat feeling like this, anyy ideas how to stop this? is there any one else who has the same propblem?

please help

I'm exactly like that :frown:

I have no idea how to stop it, and it's seriously having a bad effect on me now. I even compare myself to my little sister (who I happen to think is a total bitch and don't get on at all well with) and think she is better than me. So yeah, I know how you feel *hugs*

Reply 12

Eien

16

The only way to feel better is to erase the imaginary hierarchy in your head - there are no people "better" than you - we are all living beings with our own aptitudes - whether somebody is better than maths than you is irrelevant, its a difficult psychology to adopt, but one that will ultimately help you. I have always been academically successful, and people tell me that I am generally intelligent too, and give good advice, and I have seen some people jealous of me in the past, but I feel others have far greater aptitudes than me as well. I would love to be as sociable as some of the people who have been jealous of me, or be able to make as amazing drawings, but I am happy with who I am.

Reply 13

dr_gonzo

1

there are no people "better" than you - we are all living beings with our own aptitudes

That's exactly what i'm trying to say. Just as Eien points out, each person is born equal . it is our environments that shape us. some people may seem a little more sociable or intelligent than you but they have never felt what you have felt. self doubt is an extremely useful tool in life. whenever i doubt myself at times yet i use it to just prove myself and others that im not really a uselees shi*. you have to turn your doubt to a positive use.

also, again, you are not the only one. i really, really think people have to get this into their heads. everyone doubts themselves. even the popstars and rockstars that you see on tv have their own insecurities. you just have to manage it :wink:

.

Reply 14

thats_my_poison

1

i think everyone has low self esteem but just cover it up. i know people who are perfect in every way (is that a mary poppins song??) but then admit that they wish they were taller/funnier/prettier, etc, so you're definately not the only one

Reply 15

saoirse

10

there are degrees of low self esteem...like sometimes i get p*ssed off by the old love handles and it makes me feel less good about me as an entire person- ludicrous- and most of the time i shrug it off!

So a certain amount of dissatisfaction is normal for everyone, I guess, but it becomes a problem if it starts to affect all areas of your life

Reply 16

lazza

15

if your self esteem is that low have you tried councilling? it works wonders

this vaguely links to the pulling randoms post for me. i go out and kiss a couple of guys when im out drunk for confidence boosts. i'm strange...

Reply 17

Monkey_Maiden

11

I have very low self esteem so you're not alone. I always compare myself to other girls esp when I was with my bf, think it annoyed him a bit but coudn't help it. I have a lot of guy mates and I find that helps my self esteem as they compliment me a lot and feel more confident with them

Reply 18

guitargirl03

13

I have very low self-esteem, and it's one of the factors which has led to my depression. I hate it when people say "just try not to think about it" or "just get on with life" because it is not as easy as that.

I really feel for everyone else who low self-esteem as it is horrible.

low self esteem

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