I like to flirt with my bf's friends... Watch

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#101
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#101
(Original post by Pretty Boy)
I wasnt actually referring to you in the first instance but you've been added to the list now. Smh.

Nah, this place was funny for a few dayz but the majority of the time things get reduced to insults or else people pretend to be nice to each other for rep or whatever.

The actually truly nice people are in the minority here (bit like real life I guess) although there are some.
I'm friendly with everybody. I thought it was hard figuring out the biritsh sense of humor , now no one understands mine. What's the quote from Mean Girls where that overlly emotional chick was like "I wish I could make cakes with smiles and rainbows" haha lol aww. Pretty pathetic, but I think we need a few more people like her in the world. Are any new Jude Law films coming out?. Well I guess I should start a different thread for that :p:
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dyslexic_banana
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#102
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#102
(Original post by Anonymous)
Right on girlfriend. I think he's just bitter. Not all of you are uptight, just some. Like, not all American people are dumb....shocking concept I know loser
Why, exactly, have you bothered posting this thread, when you've barely listened to anyone's opinions, at all? Seems you've made your mind up that your behaviour's all above board, and you've done nothing but attack people whose opinions differ however slightly; you clearly see yourself as being above even constructive criticism. While on the subjects of stereotypes (not helped with your using of the typical Americanisms as responses (i.e. "loser", "you guys" and "cool it", to quote but a few)), you do little to help that of the average American girl being stuck-up, arrogant and brash. Do whatever you want, Barbie girl.
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strawberry
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#103
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#103
(Original post by Pretty Boy)
I wasnt actually referring to you in the first instance but you've been added to the list now. Smh.

Nah, this place was funny for a few dayz but the majority of the time things get reduced to insults or else people pretend to be nice to each other for rep or whatever.

The actually truly nice people are in the minority here (bit like real life I guess) although there are some.
I guess I could be called nice...but there are some instances where I just have to be mean like this because I disagree very strongly and all stuff...
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high priestess fnord
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#104
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#104
some ppl are just naturally flirty (male and female b4 u say it) and whats wrong with flirting with a mate? (again male or female). come on giving a guy puppy eyes generally gets u your own way. that is technically flirting. but lets face it most girls do it to their dads. not all flirting is sexual. in fact most isnt. and while we are on the subject of not taking in each others opinions. i beleive she was looking for *constructive critism* not just omfg a girl cant tease her bfs mates. cos thats blatently wrong
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dyslexic_banana
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#105
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#105
(Original post by high_priestess_fnord)
some ppl are just naturally flirty (male and female b4 u say it) and whats wrong with flirting with a mate? (again male or female). come on giving a guy puppy eyes generally gets u your own way. that is technically flirting. but lets face it most girls do it to their dads. not all flirting is sexual. in fact most isnt. and while we are on the subject of not taking in each others opinions. i beleive she was looking for *constructive critism* not just omfg a girl cant tease her bfs mates. cos thats blatently wrong
I think it's been established that the flirting under discussion is of a sexual nature (however slight). In fact, I believe flirting always is, by very definition. I've been open-minded enough to condone relationships such as yours (i.e. where both partners are free to flirt, and feel happy for the other one to do so); I'm just saying that they're not for me, and, if they're not for this girl's boyfriend, either, then that should be respected, or the relationship should be ended. That is the issue, here; not whether or not it's ever acceptable for people in relationships to flirt. In situations such as yours, yes, it is; just remember that not everyone in a relationship is in your situation.
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Anonymous #1
#106
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#106
(Original post by dyslexic_banana)
Why, exactly, have you bothered posting this thread, when you've barely listened to anyone's opinions, at all? Seems you've made your mind up that your behaviour's all above board, and you've done nothing but attack people whose opinions differ however slightly; you clearly see yourself as being above even constructive criticism. While on the subjects of stereotypes (not helped with your using of the typical Americanisms as responses (i.e. "loser", "you guys" and "cool it", to quote but a few)), you do little to help that of the average American girl being stuck-up, arrogant and brash. Do whatever you want, Barbie girl.
Don't even go there hun. Why are people like you so quick to attack me with my nationality. I've heard englishmen say 'loser,' 'you guys' and even...'cool it'. I'm not attacking anyone, but I can add my two cents. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen :p: and hey, Barbie is pretty hot, although, I'm not a Barbie, I genetically can't look anything like here haha lol. I am a bi-racial female with long black hair and caramel skin and grey eyes. Feel free to call me Halle Berry or Beyonce though. Cheers. Was that English enough?
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high priestess fnord
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#107
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#107
(Original post by dyslexic_banana)
I think it's been established that the flirting under discussion is of a sexual nature (however slight). In fact, I believe flirting always is, by very definition. I've been open-minded enough to condone relationships such as yours (i.e. where both partners are free to flirt, and feel happy for the other one to do so); I'm just saying that they're not for me, and, if they're not for this girl's boyfriend, either, then that should be respected, or the relationship should be ended. That is the issue, here; not whether or not it's ever acceptable for people in relationships to flirt. In situations such as yours, yes, it is; just remember that not everyone in a relationship is in your situation.
sorry maybe im over reacting but im fed up of seeing mates under the thumb of a possesive bf. they r not happy and will openly admit it but u suggest ditching the guy whos making them unhappy then they start umming and aahing about how they love him rele and maybe it could work. u do need to go somewhere in the middle. i have toned it down a little for bfs in the past (at least in front of them) but concessions should be made on *both* sides. i dont see how ne1 can go out with a control freak because preventing them form being themselves just makes them miserable.
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dyslexic_banana
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#108
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#108
(Original post by Anonymous)
Why are people like you so quick to attack me with my nationality.
You have given (almost) as good as you got, in this respect...

(Original post by Anonymous)
I've heard englishmen say 'loser,' 'you guys' and even...'cool it'.
Yeah, but not with quite the frequency as you have Americans; and even in cases that you have, it'd be mainly as a result of the 'Americanisation' from which Britain seems to be 'suffering'.

(Original post by Anonymous)
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen
Oh, I thrive on it; I don't care one little bit; threads such as these make things more interesting, around here, so attack all you like, buddy.

(Original post by Anonymous)
and hey, Barbie is pretty hot
Granted.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Cheers. Was that English enough?
No; you forgot the 'old chap'.

I'm sure you have your good qualities, but, you know, just take into account what is the popular theme, with the replies, yeah?
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Dj Nastie
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#109
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#109
(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't even go there hun. Why are people like you so quick to attack me with my nationality. I've heard englishmen say 'loser,' 'you guys' and even...'cool it'. I'm not attacking anyone, but I can add my two cents. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen :p: and hey, Barbie is pretty hot, although, I'm not a Barbie, I genetically can't look anything like here haha lol. I am a bi-racial female with long black hair and caramel skin and grey eyes. Feel free to call me Halle Berry or Beyonce though. Cheers. Was that English enough?
you seem like a right ****, **** off.
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Anonymous #1
#110
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#110
(Original post by dyslexic_banana)
You have given (almost) as good as you got, in this respect...



Yeah, but not with quite the frequency as you have Americans; and even in cases that you have, it'd be mainly as a result of the 'Americanisation' from which Britain seems to be 'suffering'.



Oh, I thrive on it; I don't care one little bit; threads such as these make things more interesting, around here, so attack all you like, buddy.



Granted.



No; you forgot the 'old chap'.

I'm sure you have your good qualities, but, you know, just take into account what is the popular theme, with the replies, yeah?
Cheers old chap
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dyslexic_banana
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#111
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#111
(Original post by high_priestess_fnord)
sorry maybe im over reacting but im fed up of seeing mates under the thumb of a possesive bf. they r not happy and will openly admit it but u suggest ditching the guy whos making them unhappy then they start umming and aahing about how they love him rele and maybe it could work. u do need to go somewhere in the middle. i have toned it down a little for bfs in the past (at least in front of them) but concessions should be made on *both* sides. i dont see how ne1 can go out with a control freak because preventing them form being themselves just makes them miserable.
I'm sure women are possessive towards men, too, although you haven't explicitly stated otherwise. It depends what you class as a "control freak". I'd personally class someone who won't let his/her partner see his/her friends of the opposite sex, as such, or someone who won't let him/her so much as hug them; in such cases, there is not necessarily any sexual feelings involved, and, hence, what I would consider to be a lack of trust would be illustrated. I don't know whether or not you class me, as someone who wouldn't want a girlfriend to flirt with other guys, as a 'control freak', but I think it'd be a little, shall I say, 'harsh', if you did; I know of plenty of people who wouldn't be happy with such behaviour.

I can understand that you wouldn't want a boyfriend who wasn't happy with your flirting with other guys. But, I don't agree with the idea that concessions should be made; maybe such a relationship would be a mismatch, in the first place? I personally feel that flirting with other people is something that someone shouldn't be seen as 'possessive' to have a gripe with, while merely socialising with members of the opposite sex is something that someone should be seen as 'possessive' to have a gripe with; and I'd imagine this would be a fairly typical opinion.

But, hey, it's up to the individual. If someone thinks it's OK to flirt while in a relationship, and someone else doesn't, I'm not saying that this necessarily makes either person any better than the other one (assuming that they think it's only OK to do so if his/her partner is happy with this); only that two such people are unsuited to one another, to a degree. In this case, the guy isn't happy, so the flirting should either be stopped, or the relationship should; that's all I've been trying to say...
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high priestess fnord
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#112
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#112
(Original post by dyslexic_banana)
In this case, the guy isn't happy, so the flirting should either be stopped, or the relationship should; that's all I've been trying to say...
thats a little harsh. ive generally found that working on a guys insecurities and talking lots helps loosen them up a bit. enough to allow mild flirting neway. (and i enjoy the powerplay)

but by control freak i mean guys who have their gfs doing things behind their backs because they have imposed so many rules. makes me think that the only person who should be like that with a girl is her dad. drives me insane that any woman could put up with it.

in all working relationships i have seen flirting isnt an issue. i mean how else do u get served quicker at the bar? send your gf up in a low top
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Drogue
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#113
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#113
(Original post by high priestess fnord)
if by british practices u mean not trusting your gf enough to let her have a laugh with *your* friends then maybe something is wrong with the selection of british ppl on these forums. i mean we r ment to be more liberal as students, but perhaps insted u want to lock away all attached women. cos who knows what we stupid bints would get into our heads should we start *talking* to men. i mean that mite lead to flirting and omfg we mite even befriend with your mates *shock horror*
Um... they're not complaining about her talking to other men, especially not in a "oh no, we must lock away our women" type thing, you silly sexist. They're complaining about her sitting on other mens laps and playing with them, when she *knows* her boyfriend hates it, and when she admits she'd hate it if he did the same. That is flirting, that is too far when you're attached *if* your boyfriend says he hates it.

They're not the ones trying to hurt someone they love.
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Drogue
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#114
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#114
(Original post by high priestess fnord)
thats a little harsh. ive generally found that working on a guys insecurities and talking lots helps loosen them up a bit. enough to allow mild flirting neway. (and i enjoy the powerplay)

but by control freak i mean guys who have their gfs doing things behind their backs because they have imposed so many rules. makes me think that the only person who should be like that with a girl is her dad. drives me insane that any woman could put up with it.

in all working relationships i have seen flirting isnt an issue. i mean how else do u get served quicker at the bar? send your gf up in a low top
Yes, but going in with a low top isn't the same as sitting on a friends lap and playfighting or messing with their hair or whatever. That's a little more intimate. I'm a pretty trusting person, my ex and I used to have competitions of who could get more free drinks flirting in a bar, just as a silly thing, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with my gf doing that with my friends at all. It's not the flirting that's bad to me, it's the intimacy, which is something that should be left for your boyfriend. Having said that, mainly that's because I'm way too affectionate, and so if they were being intimate with someone else, that's important intimacy I'm missing out on!
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high priestess fnord
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#115
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#115
(Original post by Drogue)
Um... they're not complaining about her talking to other men, especially not in a "oh no, we must lock away our women" type thing, you silly sexist.
its called sarcasm. get used to it. and if i was sexist i doubt all my mates would be male lol
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Sithius
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#116
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#116
Yeah I'd be mad. Reminds me of that article I read in a magazine about this slapper who slept with her husbands mates right on the floor with her husband lying on the couch sleeping right next to them. He was knocked out pretty much from the booze.
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LOCneverstop
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#117
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#117
(Original post by Sithius)
Yeah I'd be mad. Reminds me of that article I read in a magazine about this slapper who slept with her boyfriends mates right on the floor! Her husband was lying on the couch sleeping right next to them. He was knocked out pretty much from the booze.
diiiirty
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meepmeep
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#118
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#118
(Original post by high priestess fnord)
its called sarcasm. get used to it. and if i was sexist i doubt all my mates would be male lol
Do you think it would be ok for a man to manipulate a woman into agreeing to things she doesn't really want to do (and I don't mean unusual sexual practises here!)?

I have a fairly flirty girlfriend but I'm secure enough with our relationship and myself not to worry (which is probably a good thing as it's long distance!), but it does sometimes make me chuckle when she jokes about manipulating men to do her bidding (and women's bidding in general). I do a teensy bit of manipulating or planning for the eventual good myself and I think it matches us fairly well as we're both pretty good at helping people, I just wonder if women would feel comfortable if they were being manipulated (and actually knew about it - even though if you're manipulating well that shouldn't be an issue ).
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high priestess fnord
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#119
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#119
(Original post by meepmeep)
Do you think it would be ok for a man to manipulate a woman into agreeing to things she doesn't really want to do (and I don't mean unusual sexual practises here!)?

I have a fairly flirty girlfriend but I'm secure enough with our relationship and myself not to worry (which is probably a good thing as it's long distance!), but it does sometimes make me chuckle when she jokes about manipulating men to do her bidding (and women's bidding in general). I do a teensy bit of manipulating or planning for the eventual good myself and I think it matches us fairly well as we're both pretty good at helping people, I just wonder if women would feel comfortable if they were being manipulated (and actually knew about it - even though if you're manipulating well that shouldn't be an issue ).
as u pointed out manipulation is subtle. the girl shouldnt realise. my bf is *allways* getting me to do things i dont want to (ie calling my mum or doing more uni work) but only because i know he is right and its for my own good.

with a less serious relationship tho a guy trying to get me to do things is just part of the power play and if he thinks he can get his own way like that hes got to be kidding.

*edit* hmm on second thoughts i have a male friend who is vvvv good at subtle manipulation. i would be worried about his gf if he wasnt such a nice guy.
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dyslexic_banana
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#120
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(Original post by high_priestess_fnord)
thats a little harsh. ive generally found that working on a guys insecurities and talking lots helps loosen them up a bit. enough to allow mild flirting neway. (and i enjoy the powerplay)
A guy's insecurities? Are you sure you're not using such an idea as a means of justification for flirtatious behaviour, whilst in a relationship (i.e. "I'm not in the wrong by doing what I do; my boyfriend is just insecure, that's all")? In my opinion, not wishing for a girlfriend to actually flirt, does not represent an insecurity, in itself. If you're a flirtatious person, and, generally speaking, wish to continue to be so, then that's your choice in life, but I think that people should work their flirtatious behaviour around their relationships, as opposed to vice versa; rather than expecting their partners to change their feelings to accommodate behaviour which they consider to be acceptable, they should change their flirtatious behaviour, in order to accommodate their partners' feelings; or, perhaps most logically of all, they should only forge relationships with those who are happy with such behaviour, in the first place. That way, everyone's happy.

(Original post by high_priestess_fnord)
but by control freak i mean guys who have their gfs doing things behind their backs because they have imposed so many rules. makes me think that the only person who should be like that with a girl is her dad. drives me insane that any woman could put up with it.
Doing things behing their backs, because they have imposed so many rules? Are you sure you're not trying to blame unacceptable female behaviour on guys they go out with? Just that, surely women are either going to behave flirtatiously, or they're not? Surely not more so, because their boyfriends are possessive? Or did you mean that they do fairly usual things, such as talking to other guys, but do so behind their boyfriends' backs, because they're so possessive? Either way, the solution is simple: end the relationship (or, better still, don't get into such a relationship, in the first place). So some guys are possessive to the point of being unfair on their girlfriends? Yes, obviously, I agree; but why be with/stay with such guys, in the first place? Staying with such a guy is surely indicating that the pros outweight the cons? The relationship you have sounds fine, and I'd see no wrong in it; the two of you sound well-suited to one another, and, as such, no-one gets hurt by what is innocent, flirtatious behaviour, based on mutual terms. Also: it's not just men who can be possessive, trust me; does it drive you insane that any man could put up with this?

(Original post by high_priestess_fnord)
in all working relationships i have seen flirting isnt an issue. i mean how else do u get served quicker at the bar? send your gf up in a low top
I'd be happier for her to 'flirt' in this case, as the motives would be different; she wouldn't be doing so for her own direct gratification, and, as such, it arguably wouldn't be flirting at all. Besides: are you considering the act of merely wearing a low top? Is that really flirting, at all, in itself?

As I've said, another partner's feelings, as regards such an issue, are to be respected, or the relationship is to be ended; either have consideration for his/her feelings, if you think the relationship is worth the 'sacrifice', or end it, if you think not (in which case, perhaps the two of you are just not well suited to one another); trying to change a partner's feelings (unless, perhaps, to a slight degree) seems far from ideal.

I know we're all different, but, personally, I find it hard to fathom the idea of feeling somehow restrained at not being able to flirt with others, whilst in a relationship. As I've said (and I apologise for the ever-so-slight self-pitying sound of this), there are those of us who don't often have anyone at all, and would kill to have just the one person of the opposite sex to feel so close towards; seems rather ungrateful, somehow, to moan bitterly about how your partner doesn't wish for you to flirt with others. I honestly can't see how someone could feel so strongly about this, as to feel unable to stop doing it, for the good of what is a proper relationship; perhaps such people should be grateful for what they have, 'cause, trust me, it could be a lot worse.
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