The Student Room Group

Chivalry... is it dead/should it be?

so... today we had a fire drill thing where we all had to go stand outside in the snow to practise evacuating the school in case there was a real fire. Anyhow, I had been in the library at the time with an exboyfriend, and we went outside together. I was wearing just a shirt (I had left my jacket/jumper inside.).. and he had a fleece and a thick sweatshirt/jacket thing. We were standing out there for about 20 min, and i was FREEZING. and we were talking and stuff, and he was all toasty warm, and I kept thinking he would offer me one of his jackets, but he didnt. Then going inside, I was thinking... should he have offered me his jacket, like a "gentleman"? Or is that not what we should do nowadays... is chivalry dead? Or should he have given me the jacket etc...?

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Reply 1
There's no legal obligation for him to. But if you want things, sometimes you have to ask. I'm sure he wouldn't have refused it to you - he probably just didn't notice, boys can be stupid like that sometimes.
Reply 2
I still open doors and give up my seat on public transport and other stuff so i guess he must just be a bit of an asswipe.
Chivalry is dead - I haven't seen many duels lately - I don't think giving up your seat on the bus is chivalrous, it's just good manners.

As for the giving up of jackets after fire alarms - is it his fault you didn't get enough clothes on for the elements? Of course it isn't so why should he suffer to help you out? Would he be expected to lend his coat to another man? This is the direct result of feminism - you can't expect to be treated equally only when it suits you. Look after yourself and stop expecting men to do it for you.
I would have offered you one of my tops had I been in that situation. But I would have done the same if it was a male friend though, so I don't think you would class it as being classic chivalry. I would not give someone special treatment just because they are female. I would if it was an old person though, like an OAP on the bus. Again, not gender specific though.

*Jaded
lol i generaly just hug a male friend in that situation. keeps u toastie. not to mention if u r shivering they *will* lend u a jacket.

and yes chivalry is dead and yes it should be. its 1 thing to manipulate a guy into doing what u want but its another for him to assume that u will be weaker than him and therefore need his help.
Reply 6
I don't think he SHOULD have done, but it would obviously have been kind of him do, particularly since he had a jumper on as well! If he had done, I think it would have been better as a gesture to another human being rather than a chivalrous act.
Reply 7
I agree with ChemistBoy, you cant expect to be treated equal only when it suits you!

If any of my friends had been in the same situation they need only have asked for one of my jackets.. as you should have done. We're not psychic!
Reply 8
Someone offered to help me with my suitcase as I was struggling up and down mountains of steps on the underground last week. I said no mainly because I thought they'd end up running off with it!
Chivalry is on hiatus and can currently be found in c. 15th Century books. For the most part...

I am chivalrous, kind, considerate. Like Don Quixote and Sam Beckett. I think it's called Hero Fixation...
Reply 10
I give up my seat on buses, but not on trains, and hold doors open for people if I think they'll thank me for it. I really appreciate someone holding a door open for me, or if someone offered me their jacket, I'd be very grateful. Keep chivalry!
Chivalry is distinct from duelling: the latter persisted into the early twentieth century, the former, coming from "chevalier" (knight) specifically refers to Medieval conventions of knightly behaviour, and is long extinct (if it ever had any real existence outside of fictional Romance narratives).

"Courtliness" might be a better word, if it weren't for the dearth of courts.

Looks like "patronising gender stereotyping" will have to do.
One problem is that chivalry is lost on many women nowadays :frown: "I can look after myself thank.you.very.much!*
Reply 13
If you really wanted his jacket why didn't you just ask? I've done that several times before. If a friend has 2 jackets on and I'm cold then I'll ask if I can wear the other, regardless of whether its a male or female friend... I think its cute if guys offer their seat and stuff like that, I'm always greatful, but I don't expect them to just because I'm a girl.
I sometimes feel that I am single-handedly keeping chivalry alive. Opening doors, allowing girls to go through doors first, offering seats, always being polite etc. Nobody seems to appreciate it but I still do it, makes me feel better if nothing else :biggrin:
Reply 15
beanie
If you really wanted his jacket why didn't you just ask? I've done that several times before. If a friend has 2 jackets on and I'm cold then I'll ask if I can wear the other, regardless of whether its a male or female friend... I think its cute if guys offer their seat and stuff like that, I'm always greatful, but I don't expect them to just because I'm a girl.

no, I should've done, you're right... I just didnt want to take it if he didnt want to give it,cause its his to give... you know... anyhow... no, I agree that girls shouldn't be treated differently, I just wanted everyone's thoughts on the matter...:smile:
Duck and Cover
One problem is that chivalry is lost on many women nowadays :frown: "I can look after myself thank.you.very.much!*


Hmm, yeah, I know what you mean. A lot of girls say things like that, but you know full well that if you were to barge through a door in front of her or something similar, she would say 'what an idiot' (or something a lot less polite :p: ).
since we r on the subject of chivalry. the chivalric code states that a knight must protect a maidens honour should he find her alone. should a chivalric knight find another knight in the company of a maiden its his right to fight for her. if he chooses to do so and wins he may do as he likes with the maiden (what ever...rape etc) not a fan of chavalry myself
Reply 18
high priestess fnord
since we r on the subject of chivalry. the chivalric code states that a knight must protect a maidens honour should he find her alone. should a chivalric knight find another knight in the company of a maiden its his right to fight for her. if he chooses to do so and wins he may do as he likes with the maiden (what ever...rape etc) not a fan of chavalry myself

well i didn't want it to go THAT far :p: ... the jacket would've sufficed :biggrin:
high priestess fnord
..not a fan of chavalry myself


That is an altogether different artform. Chavalry involves buying your wife Burberry handbags even though you don't have a job, buying your underage girlfriend 20 Sovereign / Royals (or whatever)... and so on.