The Student Room Group

Stuck in a black hole

My life is utterly pathetic. My big sister and little sister are both amazingly talented at musical instruments, are brilliant writers, really jolly and talkative, and have boyfriends. I, on the other hand, have never had a boyfriend, have no friends because I have just drifted apart from most of them, aren't very good at any musical instruments (or rather, I was, but I gave it up cos I wanted to save the money for my gap year), don't get very good grades, and have to work really really hard to even stand a chance of getting one half-decent grade, and have never been very talkative. At family meals, I just sit there, and I seem incapable of saying anything, as I can just never think of anything to say. I must be the thickest person ever. And I must be such a disappointment to my family, too. :frown:
I just seem to be the stupidest, most pathetic person ever. HOw can I even be related to my sisters when they're so much better than me? And I still feel like a little kid most of the time, even though I'm 18. My mum is really overprotective, but she's the same with my sisters, and they're not all stupid and kid-like like me.
What did I do wrong? And what can I do to stop feeling so s*** all the time?
NB: I've been diagnosed with depression before, but everyone thought I was over it. I really don't want to have to go back to the doctor about it, as my mum would probably find out and I hate it when she goes round all worried and sad. :frown:
i really think you should go back the doctor about your depression. i know you don't want to, but they can really really help with medication and other ways too. i don't personally know much about depression, but i know the right treatment could have you feeling much better, and will be worth it. i know you hate it when your mum is worried and sad, but she will be a lot less worried if you manage to find a way to cope with the way you feel.
u probly have to let your mum know how u feel. i dont get on with my mum but i tell my bf everything. its hard when i know it upsets him but he has a wierd habbit of finding out neway and i know he would prefer i tell him rather than him work it out for himself. i imagine its the same with u and your mum.
Reply 3
Hi, it sounds like you are having a pretty rough time at the moment. Just from reading your post, you sound like you have got loads of great qualities-you don't seem to begrudge your sisters their talents and you obviously care so much about your family. Just a thought, but maybe you've got into a position where you think your rubbish compared to them and so you exaggerate their talents and only reflect on what you haven't got, instead of what you have. Why don't you take up something new, something that only you do, find your niche as such! It might take a few tries to find something you like, but try and join some societies at school, college or where ever. This may sound a bit twee, but try some volunteering, it honestly makes you feel good, plus you meet loads of new people (daunting but worth it!)

Basically, whatever you think of yourself, you are not stupid, and just because you feel you haven't realised your potential yet, doesn't mean you will never reach it!

At the end of the day comparing yourself to people constantly is not helpful in the long term, and although it's hard when it is shoved in your face at home, please try not to for your own sanity!

Btw-try planning your gap year in EXTREME detail-it will make it seem so much more real!

Hope you feel better soon :-)
Reply 4
I know what you're going through!

Being the middle'un can make you feel inferior to your sisters. It doesn't make matters better when my parents shower them with lots of attention and leave me out of the picture! The older sister has all the responsibility, and is chosen for all important decisions, and the little one is cooed over, because she is just sooo adorable! [pfft]

However much you think they are better than you, remember that you are just as gifted and talented. Hopefully you're parents are much more supportive towards your needs.

Try not to compare yourself to them as much.......you are an individual after all! Go out and try new things that will help you boost your confidence and shine. When amongst family, try not to think of the whole situation as an ordeal. You don't have to make a comment to feel comfortable at the dinner table...just try and be yourself, and allow others to adapt around you.

X
Reply 5
You just may not have found your thing yet, your sisters maybe be better than you musically but I bet their is something youre a lot better at than them, and most other people.

About not having a boyfriend, so what, it just means when you do have one it will mean you can be committed to the relationship and it maybe very successful, not just another one.

Dont compare yourself to other people, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.

And when ever you feel down I want you to say to yourself "Iam not pathetic, Iam a good person. I am not thick, I am intelligent. Iam not stupid, Iam GREAT!" You can even shout it out as loud as you want
Reply 6
tomtheone
You just may not have found your thing yet, your sisters maybe be better than you musically but I bet their is something youre a lot better at than them, and most other people.


Don't get her hopes up: some people are just plain mediocre. See: Noel Edmunds.
Reply 7
Anon, please don't take what Libertine has said to heart, even if he is joking. No one is mediocre because we are all individuals and we do all have special personal and individual talents:smile:
Anonymous
I've been diagnosed with depression before, but everyone thought I was over it. I really don't want to have to go back to the doctor about it, as my mum would probably find out and I hate it when she goes round all worried and sad. :frown:


:frown: ...first reply is:

notsoperfect
i really think you should go back the doctor about your depression.


:toofunny: killer post :p:
If you're reluctant to see your GP (which I can totally understand) then at least talk to your mum/dad and try to improve things a bit for yourself. All you have to say is "hey can we do something together today/this weekend etc., just the two of us?". Go to the cinema or shopping or swimming or anything you like doing and spend some quality time together so you feel included and special. It takes a lot of confidence to join a society or volunteer especially if you don't feel up to it... start by being a bit more confident in your family setting... remember: they love you unconditionally. Also don't feel too bad if you can't think of anything to say at mealtimes etc. I felt stupid and immature during my late teens too and everyone around me always seemed so confident and knowledgeable. Just ask questions instead about what they did today, what they thought about such and such or how it made them feel. At least if you're asking questions it'll get you talking and you'll feel a bit more included.
Reply 10
humeiscool!
Anon, please don't take what Libertine has said to heart, even if he is joking. No one is mediocre because we are all individuals and we do all have special personal and individual talents:smile:


aww! Know how wretched depression can make you feel.

Just remember and draw strength from this; You Are Not Noel Edmonds
(At least I hope you're not...)

Go see the doctor, look after yourself, & good luck!
Reply 11
LibertineNorth
Don't get her hopes up: some people are just plain mediocre. See: Noel Edmunds.



NOBODY IS MEDIOCRE, NOBODY IS PLAIN, maybe you are Libertine
Reply 12
Well I think you're wrong.

And incidently, giving neg rep out to someone with no comment attached is pointless when you have no rep power.

Oh and resurrecting old threads for no reason except to make a statement of your own dull opinion, which you later go on to contradict, is widely considered a bit twattish.
Reply 13
LibertineNorth
Don't get her hopes up: some people are just plain mediocre. See: Noel Edmunds.


But Mr Blobby:eek:
Reply 14
LibertineNorth
Don't get her hopes up: some people are just plain mediocre. See: Noel Edmunds.


£4 million a year for the easiest presenting job on tv?

Yes please
Reply 15
kizer
Yes please


I think you mean "deal". An opportunity missed.
Reply 16
2 5 +
I think you mean "deal". An opportunity missed.


Nah, you still nailed it.
sorry, but some people really just need to pick up some PMA and look on the bright side of life. Relish what you can do, and forget about the stuff you suck at. Make the best of your good points. If you're thinking happy, you ooze it and suddenly you might find yourself in a better position.

Go on, be more happy go lucky and give it a shot?!

Oh and stop comparing yourself to others. YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL!
Reply 18
kizer
£4 million a year for the easiest presenting job on tv?

Yes please



*weeps slightly*

You have a point.

Either way, shirts tucked into jeans every afternoon - money can't buy back dignity!


... oh wait, yes it can.

Mush
But Mr Blobby:eek:


Ah yes, Big Noel getting upstaged weekly by an amorphic sack of pink excrement. Now that was television.