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Shrink or boyfriend?? watch

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    i've been in a relationship for about a month now, and i'm beginning to feel more like a shrink than a boyfriend, and it's really getting to me.

    i know they won't stop thinking of me like a shrink because of who they are and their life, but i do care about them, but i don't want them to become dependant on me, and i'm thinking about just cutting and running.

    i know it sounds harsh, and it is pretty harsh, but if they become more dependant i fear that they might do something rash if i leave.


    oh, and they are also seeming to only want sex from me, and with my beliefs and morals, i don't really want to do that for a while in a relationship. i've talked to them about it but they just don't seem to understand and they keep on groping at my crotch, and sometimes they start doing stuff, and they make it seem like if i don't let them then they'll be really offended and i worry about what they might do to themselves.



    also, i have another friend who i feel very close to and i believe that she feels the same way for me, and we will be meeting up soon and i'll be taking her to a restraunt, and i think that it would mean more to me having 1 meal with this friend than doing anything else with my current partner.


    any help would be greatly appreciated
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    dump her then sounds like a sex addict
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    oh, and they are also seeming to only want sex from me, and with my beliefs and morals, i don't really want to do that for a while in a relationship.
    Interesting morals.
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    was what i was thinking, but i'm one of these people who worries about hurting people's feelings

    any advice on how to dump them? just be honest and say how i feel and say that it's not working out or something?

    btw, this is my first relationship
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    (Original post by ChemistBoy)
    Interesting morals.
    my morals are basically that i want my first time to be in a relationship that i can actually see going somewhere, not something in a little short term relationship where i'm not comfortable, and i'm sure this guy feels the same.
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    (Original post by The Canadian)
    my morals are basically that i want my first time to be in a relationship that i can actually see going somewhere, not something in a little short term relationship where i'm not comfortable
    mine are the same, so at least someone else knows what i feel like
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    I think I was a bit like that with my first boyfriend, we had a great relationship but I developed depression and he became the only person I talked to and therefore he felt very pressured, in the end he ended it and it forced me to become more independent, sure I was nervous when we broke up having to stand on my own two feet but I'm glad he did it now
    Good luck dude
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    nah, i'm still anonnymous :p:
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    I think I was a bit like that with my first boyfriend, we had a great relationship but I developed depression and he became the only person I talked to and therefore he felt very pressured, in the end he ended it and it forced me to become more independent, sure I was nervous when we broke up having to stand on my own two feet but I'm glad he did it now
    Good luck dude
    thank you very much for that advice, it helps to hear it from the other side of the paper, and it gives me confidence in that what i'm planning on doing is the right thing
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thank you very much for that advice, it helps to hear it from the other side of the paper, and it gives me confidence in that what i'm planning on doing is the right thing
    No problem, I know it's tough and you don't wanna hurt her feelings but in the long run it will help her definetly
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    Hope that it all goes well for you mate, relationships are all about give and take and to me it sounds like you are giving a lot, and your gf is just taking more and more and more and just trying to use you for her own pleasure.

    Dump, go to the other lass, and be happy
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    No problem, I know it's tough and you don't wanna hurt her feelings but in the long run it will help her definetly
    now then, should i call, or get the 2 hour bus to see her and dump her then get the bus back straight away or via e-mail where i have time to write out my feelings carefully?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    now then, should i call, or get the 2 hour bus to see her and dump her then get the bus back straight away or via e-mail where i have time to write out my feelings carefully?
    Hmmm that's kinda difficult, when my bf ended it we kinda talked on phone about things and how they were changing and feelings etc. then he came to see me and did it in person. It is much more respectful in person but also depends on how she will react, screaming and being hystrerical will only make things harder on you. Plus if it takes 2 hours it's quite a journey.
    I would say perhaps email/ring her telling her how you're feeling and ask what she thinks about the situation and then perhaps meet up with her when she maybe knows you want to split, esp as just going to see her end it then come home is rushed, you should go see her when you maybe have more time and she has had time to maybe understand, I'm not too sure though sorry. I'm here though for advice
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    Hmmm that's kinda difficult, when my bf ended it we kinda talked on phone about things and how they were changing and feelings etc. then he came to see me and did it in person. It is much more respectful in person but also depends on how she will react, screaming and being hystrerical will only make things harder on you. Plus if it takes 2 hours it's quite a journey.
    I would say perhaps email/ring her telling her how you're feeling and ask what she thinks about the situation and then perhaps meet up with her when she maybe knows you want to split, esp as just going to see her end it then come home is rushed, you should go see her when you maybe have more time and she has had time to maybe understand, I'm not too sure though sorry. I'm here though for advice
    i thank you for your advice, and not being like that profish who is changing the topic. i'm just not gonna respond to his things anymore.

    i would go and see her, but i don't want t sound like a wimp, but i am in all honestly and i actually fear that i'd be coming home to my parents with a broken nose and gawd knows what other injuries. there has been no violence, but she is alot stronger than me, and with the dependancy thing, i am actually worried slightly about getting attaked
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i thank you for your advice, and not being like that profish who is changing the topic. i'm just not gonna respond to his things anymore.

    i would go and see her, but i don't want t sound like a wimp, but i am in all honestly and i actually fear that i'd be coming home to my parents with a broken nose and gawd knows what other injuries. there has been no violence, but she is alot stronger than me, and with the dependancy thing, i am actually worried slightly about getting attaked
    I understand dude, to be honest I was stronger than my ex and when he told me it was over I really felt like hurting him (I'mmaking myself out to be crazy :rolleyes: ) but didn't as I didnt want him to see me as pathetic, is that the type of thing she would do? Well she does sound quite scary and you sound decent so maybe it is safer to ring her and explain things and sort things out, then maybe arrange to meet up at weeeknd or in fewdays when things have calmed down and have a proper chat then?
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    (Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
    I understand dude, to be honest I was stronger than my ex and when he told me it was over I really felt like hurting him (I'mmaking myself out to be crazy :rolleyes: ) but didn't as I didnt want him to see me as pathetic, is that the type of thing she would do? Well she does sound quite scary and you sound decent so maybe it is safer to ring her and explain things and sort things out, then maybe arrange to meet up at weeeknd or in fewdays when things have calmed down and have a proper chat then?
    yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but with phone call, i think i might hear her scream and cry, feel sorry, go to see her, and then end up in the same problem all over again. with email i won't be exposed to her emotions so much and i know its a bit silly and pathetic, but i don't even know if i could dial the number!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but with phone call, i think i might hear her scream and cry, feel sorry, go to see her, and then end up in the same problem all over again. with email i won't be exposed to her emotions so much and i know its a bit silly and pathetic, but i don't even know if i could dial the number!
    Well email her then Me and my ex only keep in contact now through email probly to avoid the same problem with me getting upset and him coming to see me and making things complicated, although I'm pretty much over him now
    Good reasoning, if she did cry and make you feel bad, which you might possibly do, it will make it hard to go through with it so yeah email her. Although to her it might look a bit of a chickens way out but you have good reasons
    Aww you sound so sweet *hugs*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    was what i was thinking, but i'm one of these people who worries about hurting people's feelings

    any advice on how to dump them? just be honest and say how i feel and say that it's not working out or something?

    btw, this is my first relationship
    that sounds like a good idea.. don't lie, just tell them how you are feeling and why you want out.. but whatever you do, don't say 'dumped or ditch'.. hehe.. just sounds harsh.

    i'd also go and see her rather than doing it over the phone, because it's just better to do it in person..
    and oh my god.. DO NOT do it over an email.. that is worse than a phone call.. sorry but you are going to have to take this like a man... it's going to be hard, but it will feel much better if you see her and tell her, rather than phone/email, or even worse - text.

    jsut my opinions of course.. good luck man.
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    Someone dumped me over text once. Utter cow.
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    I'd go over, I'm sure she won't hurt you (if she does, all the more reason to be rid of her.) Ignore all her screams and cries - there is no need for screaming, you've only been going out for a month. She's probably realised you're quite gentle and these things would be a form of emotional blackmail to get you to stay with her.
    In relationships people do listen and support eachother if they have issues, so might seem psychologist-like, but its all part of love. However she doesn't seem to have a regard for *your* issues.
    Also as you say a meal with someone else would mean more to you than anything with your partner, its clear that it's fairer to end it now. Just be honest with her.
 
 
 
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