Shrink or boyfriend??

oh, and they are also seeming to only want sex from me, and with my beliefs and morals, i don't really want to do that for a while in a relationship.

Interesting morals.

my morals are basically that i want my first time to be in a relationship that i can actually see going somewhere, not something in a little short term relationship where i'm not comfortable

I think I was a bit like that with my first boyfriend, we had a great relationship but I developed depression and he became the only person I talked to and therefore he felt very pressured, in the end he ended it and it forced me to become more independent, sure I was nervous when we broke up having to stand on my own two feet but I'm glad he did it now
Good luck dude

thank you very much for that advice, it helps to hear it from the other side of the paper, and it gives me confidence in that what i'm planning on doing is the right thing

No problem, I know it's tough and you don't wanna hurt her feelings but in the long run it will help her definetly

now then, should i call, or get the 2 hour bus to see her and dump her then get the bus back straight away or via e-mail where i have time to write out my feelings carefully?

Hmmm that's kinda difficult, when my bf ended it we kinda talked on phone about things and how they were changing and feelings etc. then he came to see me and did it in person. It is much more respectful in person but also depends on how she will react, screaming and being hystrerical will only make things harder on you. Plus if it takes 2 hours it's quite a journey.
I would say perhaps email/ring her telling her how you're feeling and ask what she thinks about the situation and then perhaps meet up with her when she maybe knows you want to split, esp as just going to see her end it then come home is rushed, you should go see her when you maybe have more time and she has had time to maybe understand, I'm not too sure though sorry. I'm here though for advice

i thank you for your advice, and not being like that profish who is changing the topic. i'm just not gonna respond to his things anymore.

i would go and see her, but i don't want t sound like a wimp, but i am in all honestly and i actually fear that i'd be coming home to my parents with a broken nose and gawd knows what other injuries. there has been no violence, but she is alot stronger than me, and with the dependancy thing, i am actually worried slightly about getting attaked

I understand dude, to be honest I was stronger than my ex and when he told me it was over I really felt like hurting him (I'mmaking myself out to be crazy ) but didn't as I didnt want him to see me as pathetic, is that the type of thing she would do? Well she does sound quite scary and you sound decent so maybe it is safer to ring her and explain things and sort things out, then maybe arrange to meet up at weeeknd or in fewdays when things have calmed down and have a proper chat then?

yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but with phone call, i think i might hear her scream and cry, feel sorry, go to see her, and then end up in the same problem all over again. with email i won't be exposed to her emotions so much and i know its a bit silly and pathetic, but i don't even know if i could dial the number!

was what i was thinking, but i'm one of these people who worries about hurting people's feelings

any advice on how to dump them? just be honest and say how i feel and say that it's not working out or something?

btw, this is my first relationship