tisnt brown - tis white
if teflons non-stick how does it stick to the pan?
because the pan is not non-stick, and they both have to be non-stick for it not to stick. (wtf??)
why does life suck sometimes?
4 when they consume soya sauce as it charges up their flippers.
Do you like Marmite?
Is my head star-shaped?
because you head is bigger than your leg
why have i only just got up?
Because you were out all night.
Why Turks are still alive?
because if they werent alive then the apple would be rotten
why is there blu tack on my moniter?
because it just is.
if a tortoise hasn't got a shell, is it naked or homeless?
its a newt
why is a fullstop round??
if i ate a sock would i be crazy?
no but you would have to be quarantined for 15 and a half days
why do clouds look like sheep?
because they are legless sheep
why is grass green?
because the devil stole god's red crayon
why did willy wonka go into the chocalate making business??
because he wasnt good at prostitution
why are shampoo bubbles always white?
They aren't...you just can't see the black ones
Why does chicken skin taste so damn fine?
because they used cocoa flavoured baby milk from the body shop
who put an s in lisp