Playing Hard To Get?

    • Thread Starter

    So there's a friend of mine who i fancy - a couple of our mutual friends have tried to set us up, and that's how we met, but since then we've been friends for over a year. We've always been quite flirtatious with each other, and there's always been underlying sexual tension.

    Recently, we talked about our feelings and i told him that i like him, and he said he feels the same way but isn't ready to commit. That's all fine, so i said its probably best for us to remain friends. But now he keeps sending me mixed signals - he asked me out on a date, he flirts with me via text, and he kissed me the other day. But i know that he doesn't want a relationship, so why is he stringing me along? I can't help but feel like he's playing games...

    I'm tempted to respond by playing hard to get, because i don't want him to think that just because i like him, i'll always give him my attention and i'll never reject his advances. He's in a position of power because it's up to him whether or not this relationship progresses, because he's the one who's not ready to commit. So i don't want him to think he can keep me strung along like this until he's made his mind up.

    But then on the other hand, he's my friend and i don't want to mess him around either by playing petty games. I was upfront in telling him i like him, so maybe i should just trust that he's being upfront with me too, and he's just confused about what he wants (because i know him well and he's not the type to play games).

    What do i do??

    he likes you somewhat, but not enough to comit to a relationship WITH YOU, he'd rather just rather have you as a friends with benefits. sorry.

    Just because you like him doesn't mean he will like you either. Although if he actually does like you then playing hard to get isn't going to help. He sounds like he is confused as to what he wants.

    How about you talk to him again instead of playing games? Ask him again what he wants, maybe he's realised he wants more, maybe he's realised that he can have a bit of fun. Think about what you want too. Are you happy enough being fwb or would you want a relationship?

    What gingens said, talk to him again, things may have changed

    I say talk to him again, tell him that you've been getting mixed signals from him and that it's confusing. Tell him that it's not fair on you as you feel like you're being strung along and that you want a definite answer about his feelings or he should leave you alone to move on.
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Updated: March 31, 2012
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